how many of you have regular sex

[makethepainstop]

I

just interested to see how many of us are sexual active to see if that plays a role in being suicidal

To the original poster of this question, "Why you wanna know, are you looking for a partner?" Sorry the question was just too tempting not to give a snappy answer to.

 

[freedompass]

While this thread can't possibly be definitive scientific proof of anything I think we can reasonably conclude from the thread as follows: some people are suicidal because they aren't having sex. Some are suicidal despite they are. And lastly, some are suicidal as a direct result of having had sex.

It's human nature to want what we don't or can't have

 

[eldiablo666]

While this thread can't possibly be definitive scientific proof of anything I think we can reasonably conclude from the thread as follows: some people are suicidal because they aren't having sex. Some are suicidal despite they are. And lastly, some are suicidal as a direct result of having had sex.

It's human nature to want what we don't or can't have

Humans are not meant to live alone.
Our biology detoriates when we're not in company with other people. It's just how nature works.
If you have regular sex you strengthen your biology.

 

[lofticries]

In my head many times.

In reality none.

 

[eldiablo666]

I

To the original poster of this question, "Why you wanna know, are you looking for a partner?" Sorry the question was just too tempting not to give a snappy answer to.

It's a very interesting question and just looking at the poll statistics in this thread tells us there seems to be some correlation.

 

[JamesUK]

Never had sex should be an option on the poll.

 

[noaccount]

Why do you think there are a kazillion female sex workers out there, but only a handful of males?

Because historically men had much easier legal and political access to other forms of income, waged or salaried jobs, inheritance of homes or farmland, their own damn bank accounts and lines of credit which were difficult for women to access without a male relative's approval until 1970, and so there was money to be made and a survival-level necessity for women to work by meeting the sexual desires of men, in a way that there was no similar economic incentive for men to meet the sexual desires of women.

Marriage is also a form of prostitution.

 

[eldiablo666]

Cmon guys let's be real
Having sex does so much good for your brain

And people live for having sex. It's like their favourite hobby

 

[JustSwingingTheD]

Because historically men had much easier legal and political access to other forms of income, waged or salaried jobs, inheritance of homes or farmland, their own damn bank accounts and lines of credit which were difficult for women to access without a male relative's approval until 1970, and so there was money to be made and a survival-level necessity for women to work by meeting the sexual desires of men, in a way that there was no similar economic incentive for men to meet the sexual desires of women.

I wasn't talking about the seventies, i'm talking about right now. All of those things you mentioned have changed, plenty of women have money for buying sex. They don't do it because for them, it's: 1) more dangerous 2) less accepted by their peers (other women) 3) satisfaction is uncertain, and for most women it's going to take time, which will get expensive (as compared to many men getting 15 min blowjobs) 4) most importantly, completely unnecessary because if a woman just wants to get dicked down, most can find a man for this purpose pretty easily

Most male escorts seem to mostly serve customers with rare kinks, bdsm and that kind of stuff.

Marriage is also a form of prostitution.

Completely depends on the marriage

 

[Disappointered]

For younger men not being able to find a woman with whom a mutual sexual friendship/chemistry enables the joy of sex to unfold...is catastrophic. Sure, there's going to be a spectrum, like with anything. But most men under 35 who can't find a woman to have sex with are going to be negatively impacted. If they're needy and/or require validation through a woman's willingness to fuck them then it is even more likely that failure in that quest will lead to catastrophic consequences. Consequences to the incel's mind, which will in turn lead to greater social problems, will fuck up their school and later their work life, will lead to crazier and crazier desperate behaviours, eventually to more serious mental health issues and over the course of a few years alone can result in different kinds of physical degeneration due to being stricken with the 24/7 overdrive of anxiety due to abject failure at...life. It is definitely something that will increase the suicidality of most men during their youth imho. Sex is a necessary, albeit insufficient, condition to basic mental heath for the large majority of under 35 males. If a younger male has never been emotionally needy or socially marginalized and gets a gf before turning 20 (give or take) said male will probably be okay w/o sex later on if he's going through a dry spell due to trying to find a long-term partner. But if that spell lasts too long...

For mid-aged or older men the physicality of sex is way less important (though not negligible) but being able to make mutually warm relations with women you like will still be important. It may not be necessary at all if said older male has already resolved incel issues from the past or never was one in the first place but it's still better to have that in your life than not.

 

[freedompass]

For younger men not being able to find a woman with whom a mutual sexual friendship/chemistry enables the joy of sex to unfold...is catastrophic. Sure, there's going to be a spectrum, like with anything. But most men under 35 who can't find a woman to have sex with are going to be negatively impacted. If they're needy and/or require validation through a woman's willingness to fuck them then it is even more likely that failure in that quest will lead to catastrophic consequences. Consequences to the incel's mind, which will in turn lead to greater social problems, will fuck up their school and later their work life, will lead to crazier and crazier desperate behaviours, eventually to more serious mental health issues and over the course of a few years alone can result in different kinds of physical degeneration due to being stricken with the 24/7 overdrive of anxiety due to abject failure at...life. It is definitely something that will increase the suicidality of most men during their youth imho. Sex is a necessary, albeit insufficient, condition to basic mental heath for the large majority of under 35 males. If a younger male has never been emotionally needy or socially marginalized and gets a gf before turning 20 (give or take) said male will probably be okay w/o sex later on if he's going through a dry spell due to trying to find a long-term partner. But if that spell lasts too long...

For mid-aged or older men the physicality of sex is way less important (though not negligible) but being able to make mutually warm relations with women you like will still be important. It may not be necessary at all if said older male has already resolved incel issues from the past or never was one in the first place but it's still better to have that in your life than not.

Not all guys who would like a relationship with a woman but can't get one are incels!

Becoming an incel requires you to take on a hive mind of a particular reactionary often far right, bigoted and misogynistic ideology. You will need to learn about Stacys. Chads. Tyrones. Eliot Rodgers. What a roastie is. And so forth. This level of brainwashing into the incel 'cult' does not happen overnight.

It requires voluntary engagement and a suspension of independent and critical thinking.

Your comment is informative of nothing but the incel koolaid you clearly drank.

 

[freedompass]

Cmon guys let's be real
Having sex does so much good for your brain

And people live for having sex. It's like their favourite hobby

Humans are not meant to live alone.
Our biology detoriates when we're not in company with other people. It's just how nature works.
If you have regular sex you strengthen your biology.

You are generalising how you feel to everyone else. Who are these 'people' that live for sex, ofc they're out there but most do not. I would guess that most people find the most meaning in close family ties. As they age, children and grandchildren. The products of sex, not sex itself.

What does 'our biology deteriorates' even mean. I can personally testify that many seek out solitude and are very happy living alone. Introverts. Those whose primary relationships were abusive, or who find others irritating and annoying. Living alone does not equate to being isolated, it can represent freedom to choose companionship as opposed to having it forced on you.

Not sure if you read one of my above comments where I described the promiscuous hell I lived through when younger and mentally unstable. Did it 'strengthen my biology' or did it just pile on a load more trauma to be processed later.

It's remarkable how in so few words you make so many questionable statements.

 

[Julgran]

Not all guys who would like a relationship with a woman but can't get one are incels!

This is the definition of an "incel", but it also includes the opposite for women, in my opinion.

Becoming an incel requires you to take on a hive mind of a particular reactionary often far right, bigoted and misogynistic ideology. You will need to learn about Stacys. Chads. Tyrones. Eliot Rodgers. What a roastie is. And so forth. This level of brainwashing into the incel 'cult' does not happen overnight.

It requires voluntary engagement and a suspension of independent and critical thinking.

Your comment is informative of nothing but the incel koolaid you clearly drank.

You don't seem to have read any research in this regard, since it has been shown that most incels are neither white, right-wing or have a hatred of women. Instead, you have relied on what the media has stated about incels. The only wrong thing that I believe male incels do is to deny that there is such a such as female incels, but other than that, your critique is unjustified. Having said that, there have been vile people, who have also been incels, whom people are correct in criticizing - although the acts of some of them have not even been attributed to inceldom by law enforcement or courts. (I won't name any names, but I'll identify them by the terms Toronto 2018 and Plymouth 2021).

The most notorious incel was, of course, Isla Vista 2014, but he was an incel and had severe mental problems.

Back to the school bench with you

Also, of the 159 current respondents to this thread poll, 17.6 % have said "Yes", and 82.4 % have said "No". Surprise! Those who know, know.

 

[freedompass]

This is the definition of an "incel", but it also includes the opposite for women, in my opinion.



You don't seem to have read any research in this regard, since it has been shown that most incels are neither white, right-wing or have a hatred of women. Instead, you have relied on what the media has stated about incels. The only wrong thing that I believe male incels do is to deny that there is such a such as female incels, but other than that, your critique is unjustified. Having said that, there have been vile people, who have also been incels, whom people are correct in criticizing - although the acts of some of them have not even been attributed to inceldom by law enforcement or courts. (I won't name any names, but I'll identify them by the terms Toronto 2018 and Plymouth 2021).

The most notorious incel was, of course, Isla Vista 2014, but he was an incel and had severe mental problems.

Back to the school bench with you

Also, of the 159 current respondents to this thread poll, 17.6 % have said "Yes", and 82.4 % have said "No". Surprise! Those who know, know.

Read research? No mate I have seen you guys online. You do a great job of exposing yourselves. And I can really do without the smug patronisation. I wasn't born yesterday.

 

[Julgran]

Read research? No mate I have seen you guys online. You do a great job of exposing yourselves. And I can really do without the smug patronisation. I wasn't born yesterday.

Then you seem unfit to be taking part in any discussion of this kind.

Is making fun of other people's problems your purpose for being a member of this community..?

 

[freedompass]

Then you seem unfit to be taking part in any discussion of this kind.

Is making fun of other people's problems your purpose for being a member of this community..?

There's really nothing funny about it is there. I am here on this forum for the same reason you are.

How am I 'unfit' to reply to any thread here. Perhaps you've never read my posts or comments before despite having 'liked' quite a few.

Have I somehow strayed onto an incel forum? Nope, it still says Sanctioned Suicide. If you want to get behind a toxic and repellent ideology you are free to do so but don't act surprised when people call you out.

 

[Julgran]

There's really nothing funny about it is there. I am here on this forum for the same reason you are.

You are welcome to demonstrate that you have an open and welcoming mind, then.

How am I 'unfit' to reply to any thread here. Perhaps you've never read my posts or comments before despite having 'liked' quite a few.

It would probably be of help to this discussion if you would clarify from where you have gotten your faulty ideas.

I could imagine that you have seen some posts made by incels elsewhere, that may have angered you, but if that's the case, you should be willing to look more into the matter in order to find out why some of their posts seem hostile - in short, they are shit-posts, which in this case is a phenomenon that's grown out of shit-posting forums like 4chan. In other words, they jargon is part of meme culture.

How are your previous posts relevant to this discussion..? I would think that lacking any kind of knowledge or understand of the subject matter makes one unfit for this discussion.

Have I somehow strayed onto an incel forum? Nope, it still says Sanctioned Suicide. If you want to get behind a toxic and repellent ideology you are free to do so but don't act surprised when people call you out.

Loneliness is an ever-growing problem in today's society - whether it's from a person's inability to form platonic, romantic or sexual relationships, so you will need to be able to deal with this kind of problem henceforth. Are you unwilling to do this..?

 

[freedompass]

You are welcome to demonstrate that you have an open and welcoming mind, then.



It would probably be of help to this discussion if you would clarify from where you have gotten your faulty ideas.

I could imagine that you have seen some posts made by incels elsewhere, that may have angered you, but if that's the case, you should be willing to look more into the matter in order to find out why some of their posts seem hostile - in short, they are shit-posts, which in this case is a phenomenon that's grown out of shit-posting forums like 4chan. In other words, they jargon is part of meme culture.

How are your previous posts relevant to this discussion..? I would think that lacking any kind of knowledge or understand of the subject matter makes one unfit for this discussion.



Loneliness is an ever-growing problem in today's society - whether it's from a person's inability to form platonic, romantic or sexual relationships, so you will need to be able to deal with this kind of problem henceforth. Are you unwilling to do this..?

You know what? I'm not really here to persuade you that I have a perfect right to an opinion, as do you. I doubt any amount of arguing back and forth is going to affect your allegiance to your chosen ideology.

If you want an echo chamber there are any number of other places you can go. No need to try defending the indefensible to outsiders like myself on a suicide forum. I won't ever buy into it. I'm the wrong gender for a start.

 

[Julgran]

You know what? I'm not really here to persuade you that I have a perfect right to an opinion, as do you. I doubt any amount of arguing back and forth is going to affect your allegiance to your chosen ideology.

If you want an echo chamber there are any number of other places you can go. No need to try defending the indefensible to outsiders like myself on a suicide forum. I won't ever buy into it. I'm the wrong gender for a start.

You are welcome back if you change your mind.

 

[freedompass]

You are welcome back if you change your mind.

Welcome back to what. Is this thread a subforum for incels now? Well who knew. Zero chance of me ever changing my mind. I would think basic realism would tell you that. And if I see obnoxious incel garbage anywhere on the forum I'll continue to call it out.

To address what you said about the epidemic of loneliness in our current society. Of course there is and I feel bad for anyone who really struggles with this. I'm not a stranger to it myself.

Being an incel provides a sense of inclusion and an outlet for frustration, anger, sadness and other difficult emotions no doubt. But it turns out to be a profoundly maladaptive coping strategy. Because you just end up even more alienated from the society you felt excluded by.

This is why I feel bad for you guys and don't just put you on ignore/whatever. This isn't even about arguing over an ideology. There's nothing to argue. Only a self loathing masochist would want to join a club that expressly demeans their whole gender.

However perhaps for all I know you have weighed up everything and decided that the benefits of being an incel outweigh the many disadvantages. In which case I wish you luck coz you're gonna need it.

 

[Julgran]

Welcome back to what. Is this thread a subforum for incels now? Well who knew. Zero chance of me ever changing my mind. I would think basic realism would tell you that. And if I see obnoxious incel garbage anywhere on the forum I'll continue to call it out.

To address what you said about the epidemic of loneliness in our current society. Of course there is and I feel bad for anyone who really struggles with this. I'm not a stranger to it myself.

Being an incel provides a sense of inclusion and an outlet for frustration, anger, sadness and other difficult emotions no doubt. But it turns out to be a profoundly maladaptive coping strategy. Because you just end up even more alienated from the society you felt excluded by.

This is why I feel bad for you guys and don't just put you on ignore/whatever. This isn't even about arguing over an ideology. There's nothing to argue. Only a self loathing masochist would want to join a club that expressly demeans their whole gender.

However perhaps for all I know you have weighed up everything and decided that the benefits of being an incel outweigh the many disadvantages. In which case I wish you luck coz you're gonna need it.

Again, if you wish to continue this discussion, you need to explain where you get your faulty ideas about incels from - then we might be able to have a conversation.

 

[freedompass]

Again, if you wish to continue this discussion, you need to explain where you get your faulty ideas about incels from - then we might be able to have a conversation.

Actually no I don't. It seems I probably know more about them than you do *sigh*

 

[Julgran]

Actually no I don't. It seems I probably know more about them than you do *sigh*

Should I conclude, then, that you insulted incels out of nowhere, for no reason, in your post #103 in this thread, and then don't want to explain why - and then you wanted to suddently end the discussion in your post #110 after being requested to provide more information..?

 

[freedompass]

Should I conclude, then, that you insulted incels out of nowhere, for no reason, in your post #103 in this thread, and then don't want to explain why - and then you wanted to suddently end the discussion in your post #110 after being requested to provide more information..?

Please can you quote the offending comments, not sure specifically what you objected to

See there is just zero self awareness here. I'm the one who's 'insulting' you delightful, fluffy incels. Never mind how much time you spend dissing and demeaning the entire female sex.

If you don't want to be called out try not talking shit?

 

[Julgran]

Please can you quote the offending comments, not sure specifically what you objected to

Read your post #103 - which includes the most derogatory definition of incels, by you - and then read my post #105. Then, provide me with more information as requested in my post #109.

See there is just zero self awareness here. I'm the one who's 'insulting' you delightful, fluffy incels. Never mind how much time you spend dissing and demeaning the entire female sex.

If you don't want to be called out try not talking shit?

You have some maturing to do - you can do so by engaging honestly in this discussion.

 

[jandek]

I'm a little reluctant to butt in on this topic, but I notice discussions about "incels" often get derailed because people don't agree on what it means in the first place. Those are who are more likely to sympathize with incels understand it as "involuntarily celibate," which is how the word was coined in the first place. By that definition, there are many people who are "incels" that simply don't identify as such, and it doesn't convey anything about ideology, race, political orientation, or misogyny. On the other hand, there are people who believe "incel" refers to an online subculture defined by its extreme misogyny and far-right politics, and that being an "incel" is merely a mental state or attitude that can be rejected at any time. It goes without saying that these are very different definitions.

 

[freedompass]

Read your post #103 - which includes the most derogatory definition of incels, by you - and then read my post #105. Then, provide me with more information as requested in my post #109.



You have some maturing to do - you can do so by engaging honestly in this discussion.

Rereading my own posts will yield no understanding of what you are offended by. What do you find immature. How am I being dishonest. Be precise. Argue your case. Give me something. Or don't.

You seem sublimely unaware that the views you express allegiance to are deeply offensive to women.

Instead of defending the indefensible (admittedly a waste of time) you've decided to go on the offensive and make like I'm the bad guy for not subscribing to transparent hatred toward my own sex. It's just insane. I'm at a loss for what to say even.

I'm a little reluctant to butt in on this topic, but I notice discussions about "incels" often get derailed because people don't agree on what it means in the first place. Those are who are more likely to sympathize with incels understand it as "involuntarily celibate," which is how the word was coined in the first place. By that definition, there are many people who are "incels" that simply don't identify as such, and it doesn't convey anything about ideology, race, political orientation, or misogyny. On the other hand, there are people who believe "incel" refers to an online subculture defined by its extreme misogyny and far-right politics, and that being an "incel" is merely a mental state or attitude that can be rejected at any time. It goes without saying that these are very different definitions.

If those people who are being called incels don't identify as such then why are they being called that?

As I said in my original comment which appears to have caused such 'offence' #103 plenty of guys who would like a gf but can't get one don't feel the need to subscribe to a whole subculture around it let alone one that basically espouses hate.

I would hazard a guess that many if not most would run a mile from that rabbit hole, and for good reason.

But thanks for trying to clarify.

 

[noaccount]

I wasn't talking about the seventies, i'm talking about right now. All of those things you mentioned have changed, plenty of women have money for buying sex. They don't do it because for them, it's: 1) more dangerous 2) less accepted by their peers (other women) 3) satisfaction is uncertain, and for most women it's going to take time, which will get expensive (as compared to many men getting 15 min blowjobs) 4) most importantly, completely unnecessary because if a woman just wants to get dicked down, most can find a man for this purpose pretty easily

Most male escorts seem to mostly serve customers with rare kinks, bdsm and that kind of stuff.

I don't know how to tell you that thousands of years of economic dispossession, and generations upon generations teaching their children how to survive in society based upon it, and generation upon generation training incoming workers in a grey market with its own culture, doesn't stop dead in its tracks and vanish without any ramifications when "women not having bank accounts" is still easily within living memory, the limited sexual autonomy offered by roe v wade was erased overnight, waged and salaried jobs still pay female workers 70 cents on the dollar, and women are often still compelled to make income by any desperate means necessary because they are left responsible for the children that men abandoned.

But I imagine you must realize that if "danger" was a significant limiting or deterring factor, it would first of all stop women from doing criminalized sex WORK, far more than it would stop them from being johns.

None of the kinks you mentioned are rare.

 

[noaccount]

@freedompass so you know Julgran has no idea what love is, in the Sanctuary he told other users that people 'shouldn't' withdraw consent if they want to stop having sex "once it's started," has encouraged people to "just let their partners" have sex with them that they don't want, and treated it as normal or healthy to get off on the bodies of unwilling participants. Fortunately he's a self-proclaimed virgin, so however long the rest of his life is, hopefully it ends before he ever gets the chance to touch of manipulate another human being.

 

[freedompass]

@freedompass so you know Julgran has no idea what love is, in the Sanctuary he told other users that people 'shouldn't' withdraw consent if they want to stop having sex "once it's started," has encouraged people to "just let their partners" have sex with them that they don't want, and treated it as normal or healthy to get off on the bodies of unwilling participants. Fortunately he's a self-proclaimed virgin, so however long the rest of his life is, hopefully it ends before he ever gets the chance to touch of manipulate another human being.

Yes I'm aware he's made some strange comments before but I wouldn't wish him an early death because of it. He seemed unable to present a coherent argument for anything he said but I felt there was no harm in trying to engage at least.