how many of you have regular sex

[brokensea]

Thank you @Hollowillow. What he said is pretty offensive and I've reported it fwiw

Same. I hope they get banned. Being graphic and disgusting to insidiously attack women on a suicide forum when for some it can be part or all of the reason they are on here. No one can truly believe this was a overall positive experience for someone who was repeatedly raped and the biggest shame people can have is the natural reactions they couldn't control and it often causes extreme self hatred and guilt. No one can believe a man, woman, or child would enjoy rape and leave the story at that. Just a vile, sociopathic human being. They may also be a predator themselves and should not be in a group like this.

A complicated question for sure. Here's my take:

I think that women who have a lot of casual sex with different partners are more likely to be suicidal, compared to the men who fuck around a lot, who are usually quite satisfied with their lives. That's because it's much harder for women to get properly satisfying casual sex, and they are often doing it to satisfy some other need, like a need for attention and admiration or brief companionship. Which could point to the possibility of certain personality disorders or other mental disorders in these women acting as a catalyst for seeking these casual encounters. For most men, casual sex is enough to bring them to orgasm, so these encounters are enough to satisfy them sexually, simple as that.

I think that men who have very little sex/don't get to have sex at all, are more prone to being suicidal. Goes without saying. There are very few women who wouldn't get to have sex at all. That doesn't mean that the partners they have available for them would be satisfying to them in any way.

In a nutshell, i think that healthy and happy males tend to fuck around and like it too, healthy and happy women tend to seek a relationship with a partner who's able to satisfy their needs, sexual or otherwise. I'm not saying that there would be no males looking for a committed relationship with a one partner, nor that there would be no women who wouldn't genuinely enjoy having lots of casual sex.

What i'm saying, is that looking at the biological differences between sexes, men are much more likely to have their needs met in those casual encounters, whereas women usually need a more long term commitment to be properly satisfied, whether its pure sexual pleasure they are seeking or something else.

So i would presume that with men, the level of their sexual activity, whether it's in casual encounters or in a committed relationship, pretty straightforwardly correlates with the level of their suicidality, whereas with women it's a bit more complicated than that. I would guess that with women, a high level of sexual activity in a committed relationship would point to less suicidality, whereas high level of sexual activity centered around casual relationships could point to either direction.

This is just from the top of my head, i don't have any data to back any of this.

The men I know don't enjoy casual sex and want a deeper connection with people. It's really a shame we always have to paint men as shallow casual sex advocates. There are also men who sleep with a bunch of people for ego, to brag or prove something to themselves and have confided that they feel empty inside. That they try to get love and attention by a numbers game but know no one really cares about them. It's not always that way but this is a fantasy more than a reality of how people act in their lives and a lot of men are loyal and care about others and don't want to do that. Men are not all unfeeling creatures who just wanna get laid by as many as possible. I think as a society we have to stop normalizing sexist gender roles and putting down men as unfeeling animals. Not everyone is this way.

 

[theboy]

sex? What is it

 

[Life_and_Death]

Same. I hope they get banned. Being graphic and disgusting to insidiously attack women on a suicide forum when for some it can be part or all of the reason they are on here. No one can truly believe this was a overall positive experience for someone who was repeatedly raped and the biggest shame people can have is the natural reactions they couldn't control and it often causes extreme self hatred and guilt. No one can believe a man, woman, or child would enjoy rape and leave the story at that. Just a vile, sociopathic human being. They may also be a predator themselves and should not be in a group like this.

while they may "enjoy it" if you look at their back story youre most likely going to find a story of abuse/neglect. you cant really say they "like it" if they were basically taught to

 

[Ashmedai]

I have neither sex, love or affection. I'm not virgin because I had briefly a girlfriend 7 years ago, but other than that I'm completely alone. Last year I paid an escort but not for an intercourse, just for receiving a hug and a kiss. This is my "life".

 

[AliceTheGoon]

Many think it's disgusting for a woman of my age, 49yo, to say I would have liked to have had one last, bloody good shag before I CTB. Bahahaha . As though we just shrivel up..... down there... and lose all interest, when we, women, get to a certain age. Nope, I would have liked to have had one last roll in the hay and where it's not him being selfish; just rolling over and falling asleep, leaving me with unfinished...err.... business.

This is not a personal ad, btw. I'm just incredibly frank.

This reminds me of that scene in Fight Club with the cancer patient. What's weird is I was way more prone to falling asleep after sex in my 20s than I am now in my 50s. I smoked a lot of weed back then, wonder if that had anything to do with it.

 

[that_guy2611]

Never had it and it absolutely plays a role but who cares amiright

 

[ForeverLonely82]

4 years and counting. I am married, but she just sleeps all the time and I've tried talking to her about our lack of intimacy,no change so I gave up. Not only that I am tired. So instead of dealing with the rejection I do what some of can only do. Masterbate. Sure I would like to have sex, but the mental gymnastics and meeting the criteria is just too much work to be worth a damn IMO. This is a Roomate situation at best, always told her if she is unhappy and can find happiness somewhere else then to go. However she's a double amputee due to diabetes and I'm all she's got and I don't have the heart to abandon her. Just waiting for my morbid obesity to kill me. I am done.

 

[IanUK]

just interested to see how many of us are sexual active to see if that plays a role in being suicidal

Very little these days. Partly age and partly boredom. I used to a lot but I never especially enjoyed it. I remember distinctly losing my virginity and wondering what the fuss was all about. I've never wanted to be close to anyone so sex was really scratching an itch when I was younger. I've always been able to take it or leave it and it's always been well down on my priority list. I've always felt it's overrated and never got why there is such a fuss about it. Also the whole fluids thing, the relying on someone's hygiene etc. just makes it too much trouble. Frankly I'd rather read a good book ir listen to music than bother with that.

4 years and counting. I am married, but she just sleeps all the time and I've tried talking to her about our lack of intimacy,no change so I gave up. Not only that I am tired. So instead of dealing with the rejection I do what some of can only do. Masterbate. Sure I would like to have sex, but the mental gymnastics and meeting the criteria is just too much work to be worth a damn IMO. This is a Roomate situation at best, always told her if she is unhappy and can find happiness somewhere else then to go. However she's a double amputee due to diabetes and I'm all she's got and I don't have the heart to abandon her. Just waiting for my morbid obesity to kill me. I am done.

Agreed in reality masturbation is more fun - the mind can take you anywhere

 

[Mthom2]

I used to be fairly permiscuous, but now the thought of sex turns my stomach. I don't search for it, and actively turn down any offers. If I ever get an... urge, well that is better handled myself, without the exchange of bodily fluids, smells, and awkward situations. Less complication, no chance of kids, STDs, relationship issues, crazy partners, etc.

 

[Unlucked]

I used to, but then I developed a panic disorder because the sex was really shitty with most guys and I honestly only did it because I felt lonely. There were some guys who knew how to make it like a movie scene in a romance film, those types were the ones I enjoyed the most, where I could have swoRN we were in love or some shit, like with the eye contact and kissing and stuff, but then I'd feel empty afterwards because I'd want something emotional from them after.

But literally most guys suck at buildup / sensuality/ etc like the romantic gentle deep eye contact sex with hugging and forehead kissing isn't gonna happen unless ur LITERALLY in love, it only happened to me once by this guy, and idk if it's cos he liked my personality or something.

Like if you do it with them it's mostly going to be them masturbating their dick with your body and alot of really animalistic trashy type sex, that hurts and you won't come. That's why it's pointless to engage in hookup culture

Best to get a boyfriend so you can have the romantic type, cos you can't really get that from any dude. Which is why Ive been celibate. But I don't want to get into a relay either cos most guys that talk to me give me sleazy gross, "I'm only talking to you cos I feel like I might get action" vibes.

 

[Temporal_Anchorite]

Sex is so far removed from my mind. All I want are a few friends.

 

[KQuotientW]

In past relationships, after a time the sex would get boring . It was just the same thing, like being served the same food over and over again. My exes (x 2) did report that my libido was a little higher than other women they'd known. However, they (my, now, exes), just wanted the same position, the 5 minutes it takes them to orgasm, then roll over and fall asleep, leaving me hanging. *Yawn* It just feels like a chore when it's just the same old, crappy sex. Why bother? Roll play, go somewhere new, try different positions, help her to orgasm, communicate,...... otherwise, she's getting a vibrator and having more fun with that.

 

[freedompass]

I used to, but then I developed a panic disorder because the sex was really shitty with most guys and I honestly only did it because I felt lonely. There were some guys who knew how to make it like a movie scene in a romance film, those types were the ones I enjoyed the most, where I could have swoRN we were in love or some shit, like with the eye contact and kissing and stuff, but then I'd feel empty afterwards because I'd want something emotional from them after.

But literally most guys suck at buildup / sensuality/ etc like the romantic gentle deep eye contact sex with hugging and forehead kissing isn't gonna happen unless ur LITERALLY in love, it only happened to me once by this guy, and idk if it's cos he liked my personality or something.

Like if you do it with them it's mostly going to be them masturbating their dick with your body and alot of really animalistic trashy type sex, that hurts and you won't come. That's why it's pointless to engage in hookup culture

Best to get a boyfriend so you can have the romantic type, cos you can't really get that from any dude. Which is why Ive been celibate. But I don't want to get into a relay either cos most guys that talk to me give me sleazy gross, "I'm only talking to you cos I feel like I might get action" vibes

I wish I had realised this sooo long ago. Sometimes I was manic and psychotic, sometimes depressed and desperate. Either way it left me very vulnerable to the kinds of encounters you describe. It sickens me to think of my sordid sex life when I was supposedly in my prime years. I completely lacked self worth.

Question. What is worse, selling your body for a price, as a sex worker? Or just giving it away for free to random guys? Arguably the latter, there's dignity and self respect in taking money for sex. What did I get? Pleasure? Haha, good one. Unwanted pregnancies, treated like trash and feeling like shit…I think my promiscuous behaviour was a form of self harm.

Strange how I've almost reverted to being like my mother, pretty much asexual and disgusted by sex. I had zero guidance from her, like, ever. She said her sex life with my dad (her husband) was basically rape. He was incestuous with me too that's part of why I was such a mess.

This world is just way too fucked up. Anyway I'm celibate now and it's a huge relief. I'm happier and more stable than I've ever been in my entire life. Doesn't make me wanna be here…but for me it seems there is just no such thing as a healthy intimate relationship.

 

[miserableforever]

just interested to see how many of us are sexual active to see if that plays a role in being suicidal

I do, but it doesn't change anything for me. I feel the same way without.

 

[freedompass]

Awe I feel you, I have bipolar type 2. And yeah it really sucks when you are manic / hypomanic and you are literally just wanting to be held / assured etc. And then you think that this dude who seems like he's powerful / protective will give you that nurturing energy. They just talk alot then use your body like it's a dish rag. Alot of the times I just wanted a strong male figure to hold me and stuff and I literally just let them do penetration/sex cos that was the only way I could actually get just a regular hug from someone who seemed protective. But it was all just projection in my head whenever that happened of that dream fantasy guy that will never EXIST. I don't really have a dad or anything so I guess it stemmed from daddy issues.

I honestly just read romance novels now or watch Korean romance tv shows where it's literally just a peck on the lips or cuddling scenes, or a guy rescuing a girl from a dangerous scenario. Cos that's what I actually want but I can't get that.

In reality most men will dip when it's hard and abandon you at the drop of a hat, and they are very very sexual creatures of visual nature. Because of porn culture they will objectify you and not even realize it. It's terrible actually.

And what's worse is, even if they do seem to have legimate feelings for you it literally is because they have some female fantasy of like some girl falling into their life to fix them and be their mom. Like I actually can't anymore. Like I'm done. Like literally finished. I'm 24 and I give up.

Honestly whoever said hookup culture is empowerment is retarted cos neither side is benefitting I think except for the 1 percent of men who get laid on the regular cos they are tall, ripped, and can be projected upon for being generically handsome. Literally no one wins.

Oh man. 24! I wish I had had your mindset back then! It's ironic we're on a thread where some people wish they had more sex while we wish we had less. Our two comments should be required reading for all incels lol. I'm 60 and also completely done.

The 'sexual revolution' has a lot to answer for. I am so sickened by biology, sex, reproduction and nature itself that my only refuge is this place and the thoughts of one day being free.

 

[Salvation_]

I don't want to have sex. I don't care what anyone says about humans being predetermined to have babies or whatever. I don't want to have sex, period.

 

[iridescent.darkness]

i know if i was having regular sex i wouldn't be as suicidal as i am i'd have something to look forward too
and if i was in a relationship i wouldn't be as half as suicidal as i am since i'd have someone to keep me company

loneliness can contribute to someone feeling suicidal but i don't think a relationship will solve your problem if you genuinely want to die. I think you should think very carefully if you decide to attempt to ctb as if a relationship or having sex would stop you feeling this way then I would say you do want to live and there is hope for you.

 

[Ashu]

Two months and counting, at the present rate of regularity. At least it's blow-my-head-off good when it finally happens. But yeah, I'd still rather be dead.

loneliness can contribute to someone feeling suicidal but i don't think a relationship will solve your problem if you genuinely want to die. I think you should think very carefully if you decide to attempt to ctb

Once youre dead, it doesn't matter if your reasons were wrong.

 

[assisted]

Why does it make you more suicidal?

it's extremely depressing; gratifying in the moment, but then afterwards, i hate myself

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

Our two comments should be required reading for all incels lol.

Your failure to choose a partner wisely, to set boundaries, and to communicate with your partner should somehow dissuade "incels" from wanting a relationship?

Alot of the times I just wanted a strong male figure to hold me and stuff and I literally just let them do penetration/sex cos that was the only way I could actually get just a regular hug from someone who seemed protective. But it was all just projection in my head whenever that happened of that dream fantasy guy that will never EXIST. I don't really have a dad or anything so I guess it stemmed from daddy issues.

And what's worse is, even if they do seem to have legimate feelings for you it literally is because they have some female fantasy of like some girl falling into their life to fix them and be their mom. Like I actually can't anymore. Like I'm done. Like literally finished. I'm 24 and I give up.

I used to fuck a lot. Probably too much because it became boring. I think sex isn't the thing, it's closeness.

It's sharing a truly intimate moment with someone. It's looking at someone and them seeing you.

I miss being seen.

Says a lot that this even has to be clarified. As if people are suicidal due to not having some temporary physical sensations that can easily be replicated without a partner.

31 year old virgin, baby

Though it really doesn't bother me. It's on my bucket list, for sure, but I am not terribly romantically/sexually inclined. I also only started masturbating at 17 so it hasn't lost its novelty. ;)

The reasons for my suicidal inclinations are all above the waist.

Based, wish I could still feel my D and that I started later with the cooming.

 

[MatthewV3]

Never had sex. 23, male.

 

[freedompass]

Your failure to choose a partner wisely, to set boundaries, and to communicate with your partner should somehow dissuade "incels" from wanting a relationship?

Gee thanks for the judgment I was suffering from severe bipolar disorder with psychosis, undiagnosed for the first 10 years. Nothing to do with poor partner selection, I was simply prey.

Why I mentioned incels? Because of their insistence that women have the 'privilege' of being 'gatekeepers to sex', are the privileged gender and will never know the pangs of a lonely unwanted male virgin.

My point? There is always another side to the story. I'm not dissing incels as such, just making an observation.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

Gee thanks for the judgment

What judgement?

Why I mentioned incels? Because of their insistence that women have the 'privilege' of being 'gatekeepers to sex',

Which is true in my life, but for some it can be the opposite (but it's unlikely).

and will never know the pangs of a lonely unwanted male virgin.

Which is obviously true. They could know the pain of being an unwanted female virgin (very unlikely).

Not sure what you're trying to say. I hope this isn't one of those "who has it worse?"-things. If it is, I'll just admit that I would not rather be a woman now so that we're done with that.

Never had sex. 23, male.

Based.

 

[freedompass]

What judgement?

I did mention that I was either manic and psychotic or depressed and desperate, no? And that I'd been sexually abused as a child? That I had zero self worth? The judgment is that you are assuming I was in a position to choose partners wisely, set healthy boundaries, and give consent. This was not the case. We live in a world where women are often preyed on by men. I was vulnerable, and as such, clearly attracted scum
bags. Arguably a psychotic person cannot even give consent. It was therefore effectively rape.

Obviously saying the word incel is incendiary here, I'll bear that in mind in future.

Which is true in my life, but for some it can be the opposite (but it's unlikely).

Rape and coercion are unlikely? Child sexual abuse? Tell that to the victims

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

I did mention that I was either manic and psychotic or depressed and desperate, no? And that I'd been sexually abused as a child? That I had zero self worth? The judgment is that you are assuming I was in a position to choose partners wisely, set healthy boundaries, and give consent. This was not the case. We live in a world where women are often preyed on by men. I was vulnerable, and as such, clearly attracted scum
bags. Arguably a psychotic person cannot even give consent. It was therefore effectively rape.

I said failure because that was the word I came up with (I'm trying to think less and be more carefree, especially with my speech/writing, not really paying out in this case). Failure does not, imo, imply "fault" (I don't really believe in free will, either, but I think some Pascal's wager type thing does make sense there).

Obviously saying the word incel is incendiary here, I'll bear that in mind in future.

I don't think just a word is incendiary. Perhaps writing about something that will drive people to mass murder and suicide in a "haha, lol"-manner could be offensive to some. I'm all for dark humor, though, but the "jokes" might have to be more than just "lol, she was murdered" or "haha, his family died in a traffic collision lol" or "maybe an incel would have a problem with this, hehehe" for me to not get a bit triggered (I basically have high stress and low emotional control), it's probably not a big deal for others dealing with the same things though.

 

[JustSwingingTheD]

The men I know don't enjoy casual sex and want a deeper connection with people. It's really a shame we always have to paint men as shallow casual sex advocates.

You are the one here painting men as "shallow casual sex advocates". Why are women seeking casual sex most often painted as "empowered" or "exploring their sexuality", when men are just being plain "shallow"? It's easier for men to get off having casual sex, so that's why they often prefer it more than women. That's it.

Women are just as shallow, their shallowness just gets displayed differently.

There are also men who sleep with a bunch of people for ego, to brag or prove something to themselves and have confided that they feel empty inside.

Sure there are, but anyone who does anything just to be able to brag about it is a moron who has already failed at life. This is an universal truth.

That they try to get love and attention by a numbers game but know no one really cares about them. It's not always that way but this is a fantasy more than a reality of how people act in their lives and a lot of men are loyal and care about others and don't want to do that. Men are not all unfeeling creatures who just wanna get laid by as many as possible.

Newsflash: nobody really cares about anyone but themselves. Men seek casual sex more than women, simply because casual sex feels better for men, than for women, on average. This is just biology. If you're not the kind of a girl who is confident enough to boss a guy around in bed, and in addition self-aware enough to know what you want too, chances are you are going to have "meh" time having casual sex.

I think as a society we have to stop normalizing sexist gender roles and putting down men as unfeeling animals. Not everyone is this way.

I think it's you who is putting men down as unfeeling animals here. If you want to stop it then just.. stop.

 

[eldiablo666]

You are the one here painting men as "shallow casual sex advocates". Why are women seeking casual sex most often painted as "empowered" or "exploring their sexuality", when men are just being plain "shallow"? It's easier for men to get off having casual sex, so that's why they often prefer it more than women. That's it.

Women are just as shallow, their shallowness just gets displayed differently.

Sure there are, but anyone who does anything just to be able to brag about it is a moron who has already failed at life. This is an universal truth.

Newsflash: nobody really cares about anyone but themselves. Men seek casual sex more than women, simply because casual sex feels better for men, than for women, on average. This is just biology. If you're not the kind of a girl who is confident enough to boss a guy around in bed, and in addition self-aware enough to know what you want too, chances are you are going to have "meh" time having casual sex.

I think it's you who is putting men down as unfeeling animals here. If you want to stop it then just.. stop.

Thank you for giving the comment about the newsflash. Finally someone here who comments some real truth

 

[freedompass]

Thank you for giving the comment about the newsflash. Finally someone here who comments some real truth

Oh please.

Newsflash: nobody really cares about anyone but themselves. Men seek casual sex more than women, simply because casual sex feels better for men, than for women, on average. This is just biology. If you're not the kind of a girl who is confident enough to boss a guy around in bed, and in addition self-aware enough to know what you want too, chances are you are going to have "meh" time having casual sex.

I fail to see what possible problem you have with brokensea saying we need to stop stereotyping a whole gender. Ah, wait. Maybe that's what you want to do?

I don't think just a word is incendiary. Perhaps writing about something that will drive people to mass murder and suicide in a "haha, lol"-manner could be offensive to some. I'm all for dark humor, though, but the "jokes" might have to be more than just "lol, she was murdered" or "haha, his family died in a traffic collision lol" or "maybe an incel would have a problem with this, hehehe" for me to not get a bit triggered (I basically have high stress and low emotional control), it's probably not a big deal for others dealing with the same things though.

Since you are trying to improve your word choice I will also try to be more sensitive in future…I do think about my hahas and lols, I think I mainly use them in a probably doomed effort to 'keep it light'. On SaSu people could be offended I guess so yeah.

 

[JustSwingingTheD]

I fail to see what possible problem you have with brokensea saying we need to stop stereotyping a whole gender. Ah, wait. Maybe that's what you want to do?

"The men I know don't enjoy casual sex and want a deeper connection with people. It's really a shame we always have to paint men as shallow casual sex advocates."

Yeah, it is a shame, come to think of it, why are they doing it then?

 

[brokensea]

You are the one here painting men as "shallow casual sex advocates". Why are women seeking casual sex most often painted as "empowered" or "exploring their sexuality", when men are just being plain "shallow"? It's easier for men to get off having casual sex, so that's why they often prefer it more than women. That's it.

Women are just as shallow, their shallowness just gets displayed differently.

Sure there are, but anyone who does anything just to be able to brag about it is a moron who has already failed at life. This is an universal truth.

Newsflash: nobody really cares about anyone but themselves. Men seek casual sex more than women, simply because casual sex feels better for men, than for women, on average. This is just biology. If you're not the kind of a girl who is confident enough to boss a guy around in bed, and in addition self-aware enough to know what you want too, chances are you are going to have "meh" time having casual sex.

I think it's you who is putting men down as unfeeling animals here. If you want to stop it then just.. stop.

I don't know what TV shows you're watching or what friends you have but it's not true men all go about banging whoever they can. Some men have feelings and attachment and are faithful. Want to bond with another human. I'm sorry you think most men are like this.

If you think society thinks women are only empowered if they sleep around and not also seen as sluts you really live in a alternate reality.

You should really stop stereotyping people to simplify life and feed into a media pop centered view of the world caused by capitalism trying to sell sex everywhere maybe you should think outside of such a narrow washed out narrative.

Also it sounds like you're making abused women uncomfortable here and enjoying mocking their pain. Does that make you feel good? Do you feel less of a failure and more powerful that you've demeaned a "weak" woman who's done nothing to you?

Does having someone to blame for your life's problems make you feel better that it's not you? Even if it comes at the cost of cruelty to someone who's suffered and you mock their pain and the violence inflicted upon them?

Does someone owe you their body, their love, mindless subservience to you or they're wronging you? Are you getting back at some woman who you felt wronged you by being as ignorant as racists hating an entire race? But it's ok to attack a gender cause it's just women?

You also seem to have a low opinion of men as well. Truly sad.