Discussion How likely is it that you are going to CTB? On a scale of 1-10.

[bipbapbop]

Just changed my vote from 8 to 9. Life is getting too painful to continue for much longer.

 

[Dark Window]

Solid 10. I'm done.
Can't believe I will finally set myself free from this madness

So time, date and method set? When you dying breh

 

[unabletocope]

So you're 100% definitely doing it?

Pretty much

 

[diviosd]

8-9 both of my cats have really bad separation anxiety so I'll probably wait for them to pass first. I can't hurt my innocent kitties like that. Other than that I'm pretty prepared.

 

[Dark Moon]

Eh 8 or 9, I don't see a way out of my situation but I still have a little uncertainty. I do want to die though, I'm done with society and the world.

 

[gorexzxz]

9/10. Honestly, just waiting on a method and hopefully a couple of days after that I will be dead.

 

[notevenhere]

Solid 9.

It's hard to find resources and gather the courage to do it. Im not making any attempts on making my life better because it's hellbent in making it worse, anyways.

 

[Jorms_McGander]

Haha that's a lot of 9s but who's gonna get in a car crash between now and then

 

[silence ends]

9, there's no options left and just gotta win SI

 

[Felodese]

Method
Means
Time
Place

 

[Dark Window]

Method
Means
Time
Place

9.5 for you

 

[AllMyDreams]

Actually CTB'ing, like 1. Because I have no confidence in myself to get it right and am afraid of SI/causing trauma to others. And I also often have good days.

But the likelihood of moving to Europe and getting euthanasia by the time I'm 40, I think is pretty high.

 

[4everDone]

So time, date and method set? When you dying breh

Today/tomorrow

 

[Dark Window]

8-9 both of my cats have really bad separation anxiety so I'll probably wait for them to pass first. I can't hurt my innocent kitties like that. Other than that I'm pretty prepared.

It's interesting how many people are kept alive just because they cannot leave their dog or their fam behind.

Today/tomorrow

You still here?

 

[Dark Window]

bump

 

[oneirataxia]

Somewhere between 6-8?

 

[supertrianguloid]

1

 

[sparklingtwirl]

10…….I'll be 'celebrating' Eurovision in my own way……..the calm I feel knowing……

 

[Dark Window]

Somewhere between 6-8?

Try to pick one.

 

[oneirataxia]

Try to pick one.

I guess 7 then?

 

[Dark Window]

I guess 7 then?

So CTB likely now then? Did you read the descriptions along side the numbers?

 

[oneirataxia]

So CTB likely now then? Did you read the descriptions along side the numbers?

Yes, not sure why you would think I wouldn't... I just fluctuate when it comes to how absolutely certain I am.

 

[keg-ireland]

8-9
Not killing myself yet because of the effect it will have on my parents

But I am almost certain i am not sticking around in this hell hole for another 5 decades. NO WAY!

Feel exactly the same. I keep picturing my parents faces when I'm thinking about ctb. It pains me that I would hurt them so much. I cant get past that.

 

[Crash_Bash_Dash]

I was considering the line is somewhere between 6-7. last month I was on my lowest of all time. I actively thought of ctb, sought methods here and even desperately sought an opportunity at home to ctb during that time period but the method I was planning to execute ended up being poorly executible in my current apartment and perhaps dangerous to others, painful and costly in aftermath so I gave up on that. During that time, I also joined this site, felt generally apathetic and fearful and unable to get out of bed.

During the time period lasting from the beginning of last week to this day, I still am struggling daily but I am somewhat managing to engage in some kind of action now. Even though all the hassle by doing something and hints of gentle breezes of fresh air by thinking new opportunities to make my life better feel only distraction from sad reality I am living in. Nothing feels like it is going to get better and the signs of changes to better are next to none yet. I also bought some equipment last week when I had energy for NN-method but when I bought it and studied the equipment at home, I think I was maybe 30% into it. I honestly don't know right now what I am supposed to do: Go forward to try improve my life in a way or another even though it feels a like a huge struggle and hopeless attempt by my brain to sustain itself to just live longer or try to actively seek a way to ctb and prepare for my department to oblivion.

 

[Dark Window]

Updates on you voters? Are your numbers still the same?

Any recoveries? Depleted or restored hope? Exacerbated pain and suffering?

 

[goodoldnoname923]

Definitely somewhere between 7 and 8 so maybe 7.5? Seems accurate to me

 

[Dark Window]

Definitely somewhere between 7 and 8 so maybe 7.5? Seems accurate to me

Do you have a small level of hope or are you hopeless and see no way out?

That's the difference between 7 and 8.

 

[goodoldnoname923]

Do you have a small level of hope or are you hopeless and see no way out?

That's the difference between 7 and 8.

There is people around me that keep saying they see hope in me and see me as a good person and stuff but at the sametime i don't see myself going on without blue which i can't the only way would be to find someone who fills her void fully but even then who could really do that its extremely unlikely and even if i found someone simliar it would take years to potentially build that relationship if it lasts

I don't have an academic or career based future i don't have anything else to look forward to so i just feel sorta hopeless but it varies i feel terrfied at the idea if going on but being dead too

So i truly couldn't say really the hope is mainly from external factors but also feels forced as a way out always seems unlikely so again 7.5 fits perfectly for me

 

[fleetingnight]

7. I've thought for a long time, even if it doesn't happen soon, it's only a matter of time.

 

[douasoapte]

5-6 because of the fear of failing and one person that I might completely destroy the future for if I do it.