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How likely are you to CTB?


  • Total voters
    255
  • Poll closed .
B

bipbapbop

Experienced
Mar 7, 2024
276
Just changed my vote from 8 to 9. Life is getting too painful to continue for much longer.
 
sammiechzxv

sammiechzxv

just a girl who's kinda sad
Aug 7, 2023
286
8-9 both of my cats have really bad separation anxiety so I'll probably wait for them to pass first. I can't hurt my innocent kitties like that. Other than that I'm pretty prepared.
 
Dark Moon

Dark Moon

Warlock
Sep 21, 2022
778
Eh 8 or 9, I don't see a way out of my situation but I still have a little uncertainty. I do want to die though, I'm done with society and the world.
 
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gorexzxz

gorexzxz

Member
Apr 13, 2024
50
9/10. Honestly, just waiting on a method and hopefully a couple of days after that I will be dead.
 
notevenhere

notevenhere

Ghost Angel
Apr 27, 2023
107
Solid 9.

It's hard to find resources and gather the courage to do it. Im not making any attempts on making my life better because it's hellbent in making it worse, anyways.
 
J

Jorms_McGander

Arcanist
Oct 17, 2023
489
Haha that's a lot of 9s but who's gonna get in a car crash between now and then 😇
 
S

silence ends

Student
Jan 10, 2023
121
9, there's no options left and just gotta win SI
 
AllMyDreams

AllMyDreams

Experienced
Dec 12, 2021
279
Actually CTB'ing, like 1. Because I have no confidence in myself to get it right and am afraid of SI/causing trauma to others. And I also often have good days.

But the likelihood of moving to Europe and getting euthanasia by the time I'm 40, I think is pretty high.
 
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Dark Window

Dark Window

Forest Wanderer
Mar 12, 2024
548
8-9 both of my cats have really bad separation anxiety so I'll probably wait for them to pass first. I can't hurt my innocent kitties like that. Other than that I'm pretty prepared.
It's interesting how many people are kept alive just because they cannot leave their dog or their fam behind.
Today/tomorrow
You still here?
 
Saturn_

Saturn_

You're gonna carry that weight.
Apr 22, 2024
522
Somewhere between 6-8?
 
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sparklingtwirl

sparklingtwirl

Member
Mar 5, 2024
6
10…….I'll be 'celebrating' Eurovision in my own way……..the calm I feel knowing……
 
Saturn_

Saturn_

You're gonna carry that weight.
Apr 22, 2024
522
So CTB likely now then? Did you read the descriptions along side the numbers?
Yes, not sure why you would think I wouldn't... I just fluctuate when it comes to how absolutely certain I am.
 
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keg-ireland

keg-ireland

Member
May 3, 2024
52
8-9
Not killing myself yet because of the effect it will have on my parents

But I am almost certain i am not sticking around in this hell hole for another 5 decades. NO WAY!
Feel exactly the same. I keep picturing my parents faces when I'm thinking about ctb. It pains me that I would hurt them so much. I cant get past that.
 
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Crash_Bash_Dash

Crash_Bash_Dash

Nothing what I used to be
Apr 23, 2024
99
I was considering the line is somewhere between 6-7. last month I was on my lowest of all time. I actively thought of ctb, sought methods here and even desperately sought an opportunity at home to ctb during that time period but the method I was planning to execute ended up being poorly executible in my current apartment and perhaps dangerous to others, painful and costly in aftermath so I gave up on that. During that time, I also joined this site, felt generally apathetic and fearful and unable to get out of bed.

During the time period lasting from the beginning of last week to this day, I still am struggling daily but I am somewhat managing to engage in some kind of action now. Even though all the hassle by doing something and hints of gentle breezes of fresh air by thinking new opportunities to make my life better feel only distraction from sad reality I am living in. Nothing feels like it is going to get better and the signs of changes to better are next to none yet. I also bought some equipment last week when I had energy for NN-method but when I bought it and studied the equipment at home, I think I was maybe 30% into it. I honestly don't know right now what I am supposed to do: Go forward to try improve my life in a way or another even though it feels a like a huge struggle and hopeless attempt by my brain to sustain itself to just live longer or try to actively seek a way to ctb and prepare for my department to oblivion.
 
Last edited:
Dark Window

Dark Window

Forest Wanderer
Mar 12, 2024
548
Updates on you voters? Are your numbers still the same?

Any recoveries? Depleted or restored hope? Exacerbated pain and suffering?
 
goodoldnoname923

goodoldnoname923

Wanting to find peace
Mar 28, 2024
834
Definitely somewhere between 7 and 8 so maybe 7.5? Seems accurate to me
 
goodoldnoname923

goodoldnoname923

Wanting to find peace
Mar 28, 2024
834
Do you have a small level of hope or are you hopeless and see no way out?

That's the difference between 7 and 8.
There is people around me that keep saying they see hope in me and see me as a good person and stuff but at the sametime i don't see myself going on without blue which i can't the only way would be to find someone who fills her void fully but even then who could really do that its extremely unlikely and even if i found someone simliar it would take years to potentially build that relationship if it lasts

I don't have an academic or career based future i don't have anything else to look forward to so i just feel sorta hopeless but it varies i feel terrfied at the idea if going on but being dead too

So i truly couldn't say really the hope is mainly from external factors but also feels forced as a way out always seems unlikely so again 7.5 fits perfectly for me
 
fleetingnight

fleetingnight

incapable of shutting up
May 2, 2024
653
7. I've thought for a long time, even if it doesn't happen soon, it's only a matter of time.
 
douasoapte

douasoapte

New Member
May 24, 2024
2
5-6 because of the fear of failing and one person that I might completely destroy the future for if I do it.
 

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