How likely are you to CTB?

  • 1-2 - Very unlikely. Suicide just an occasional thought, not a serious consideration. Life mostly ok

  • 3-4 - Unlikely. My Problems will probably be fixed. CTB just an outside possibility.

  • 5-6 - 50/50ish - CTB strong possibility, but far from decided. I'm still somewhat hopeful.

  • 7 - Likely - My Problems unlikely to be resolved. Small level of hope, but CTB is likely now.

  • 8 - Very likely - I'm close to being certain I'm going to CTB. I see no way out.

  • 9 - Certain - I'm sure I'm going to CTB, but method/date/time/location not fully planned.

  • 10 - Dead man walking - I'm certain, and I've got the Date, Time, Method and Location planned. Bye!


Results are only viewable after voting.
Dark Window

Dark Window

Forest Wanderer
Mar 12, 2024
548
How likely are you going to CTB?

I wanna know how many people here are definitely going to CTB or are just considering? Maybe some of you are just basking in suicidal ideation while going through a difficult period.
 
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I

iloverachel

Enlightened
Mar 7, 2024
1,199
8-9
Not killing myself yet because of the effect it will have on my parents

But I am almost certain i am not sticking around in this hell hole for another 5 decades. NO WAY!
 
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Dark Window

Dark Window

Forest Wanderer
Mar 12, 2024
548
8-9
Not killing myself yet because of the effect it will have on my parents

But I am almost certain i am not sticking around in this hell hole for another 5 decades. NO WAY!

8 or 9?
 
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rottenflesh

rottenflesh

Member
Jan 8, 2024
61
only 2 days left, booked a hotel room and everything. cant wait to go!!
 
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Dark Window

Dark Window

Forest Wanderer
Mar 12, 2024
548
only 2 days left, booked a hotel room and everything. cant wait to go!!
If you're absolutely sure you can't get better, you've tried lots and nothing works, and you definitely want death, then rest in peace bro.
 
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tbroken

tbroken

Wizard
Feb 22, 2024
689
9, almost there.
 
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Dark Window

Dark Window

Forest Wanderer
Mar 12, 2024
548
5/10 for me. For me it's the uncertainty because I'm having so many tests at the doctors and no answers yet. 9 months down the line and I cannot work. But I'm hopeful.

I've never considered suicide this strongly in my life. I cannot go above or below 5 or above 6.

If it goes another months and more and more tests and things aren't working, I think I may be at a 7 by end of next month, and be 9 middle of the year.
 
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LevUwU

LevUwU

I hate my life and the government
Mar 16, 2024
183
6-7/10

Desperate want to, I would give anything for a loaded shotgun to appear in my hands right now. But every other method I've done, I always back out. Moronic survival instinct. If I could bypass the frankly foolish slimmer of hope and the unfortunate truth of human desire to survive, I'd be 6 feet under by now
 
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Dark Window

Dark Window

Forest Wanderer
Mar 12, 2024
548
6-7/10

Desperate want to, I would give anything for a loaded shotgun to appear in my hands right now. But every other method I've done, I always back out. Moronic survival instinct. If I could bypass the frankly foolish slimmer of hope and the unfortunate truth of human desire to survive, I'd be 6 feet under by now
6 or 7 is more accurate?
 
F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
9,829
Between a 7 and an 8. It's not because my problems will ever be resolved that I'll back out, it's more likely the fear of failing an attempt may put me off.
 
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4am

4am

there’s nothing for you (it/its)
Dec 14, 2023
3,332
9, i'm definitely going to kms one day. maybe sooner, maybe later, i don't have the right method ready yet, but suicide is definitely the only way i'm gonna go out
 
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Dark Window

Dark Window

Forest Wanderer
Mar 12, 2024
548
9, i'm definitely going to kms one day. maybe sooner, maybe later, i don't have the right method ready yet, but suicide is definitely the only way i'm gonna go out
You don't think there's a chance it could get better for you?
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,878
It's insulting to act like people are ill for preferring to not exist. My wish to die is a result of becoming aware of how truly undesirable existence is, rather than something to get "better" from, I have no interest in suffering in this disgusting and evil world, for me suicide is a rational solution to escape from the meaningless and torturous burden of existing of a human.

I don't understand those who act like others are ill for wanting death when nobody can suffer from not existing yet there is literally no limit as to how much agony one can feel as long as they exist, to me existence itself is the problem and I find it tragic how life even exists at all.

I'd always prefer to peacefully not exist than to suffer for decades just to die a slow painful death tormented by old age but of course not everyone has the privledge of being able to just painlessly die. What I'd fear is trying to die going wrong and just leading to way worse agony as a result, it's evil and sadistic to deny people the option of a peaceful suicide. I despise existence and this hellish world, I never would have chose any of this.
 
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hellispink

hellispink

poisonous
May 26, 2022
1,231
It's not a matter of "if" but when.
 
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lixt

lixt

Entropy guides me until death reaches me.
Dec 14, 2023
74
Some hope was created some days ago, I will see if I get somewhere.
 
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4am

4am

there’s nothing for you (it/its)
Dec 14, 2023
3,332
You don't think there's a chance it could get better for you?
sorry, wanted to respond earlier but forgot. basically what funeralcry said. i don't see a point in living, i just prefer non-existence
 
Dark Window

Dark Window

Forest Wanderer
Mar 12, 2024
548
sorry, wanted to respond earlier but forgot. basically what funeralcry said. i don't see a point in living, i just prefer non-existence
Understood.

Do you think it's depression/anhedonia?
 
LunarLight

LunarLight

i'm a loser, a failure
Apr 3, 2024
1,368
8, SN is on the way. It arrived in my country today.
 
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evannave

evannave

love you guys <3
Feb 27, 2024
164
I'd say a 5/6. I just don't see myself being able to go on forever. But as of right now I think I can go on for a bit longer.
 
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HopingOnaMiracle

HopingOnaMiracle

Experienced
Mar 8, 2024
297
3-4... I've been feeling terrible for over 10 months and the last few months I had suicidal thoughts, read all about all options on this website. But I still have some hope left my life will become normal again.
 
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LunarLight

LunarLight

i'm a loser, a failure
Apr 3, 2024
1,368
8. So you aren't certain yet, but simply see no way out.
Yes. Meds never worked, therapy never worked. I haven't tried rTMS or ECT yet but they are unavailable where I live and I have to spend 3 hours in a train to see the only GP who may (or may not) prescribe rTMS/ECT for me to enter a clinic far from where I live, because GPs and psychiatrists here are assholes, tell me it's my fault if I'm so depressed and suffer so much, and keep prescribing meds that simply DO NOT WORK. Plus, this GP is awesome but overbooked and I do not know if I'll be able to have an appointment - and if I will, it will most likely be at least in three months. And, as I said, maybe she'll turn it down.
I simply can't take this anymore. I'm running out of energy. My partners begs me not to CTB for their sake, but... yeah, they're gonna be really sad if I leave this Earth, I know, but I have to focus on myself and the pain is unbearable. I won't make it.
 
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billie

billie

sad and suicidal
Mar 31, 2024
408
I will die in 2024
 
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Dark Window

Dark Window

Forest Wanderer
Mar 12, 2024
548
Yes. Meds never worked, therapy never worked. I haven't tried rTMS or ECT yet but they are unavailable where I live and I have to spend 3 hours in a train to see the only GP who may (or may not) prescribe rTMS/ECT for me to enter a clinic far from where I live, because GPs and psychiatrists here are assholes, tell me it's my fault if I'm so depressed and suffer so much, and keep prescribing meds that simply DO NOT WORK. Plus, this GP is awesome but overbooked and I do not know if I'll be able to have an appointment - and if I will, it will most likely be at least in three months. And, as I said, maybe she'll turn it down.
I simply can't take this anymore. I'm running out of energy. My partners begs me not to CTB for their sake, but... yeah, they're gonna be really sad if I leave this Earth, I know, but I have to focus on myself and the pain is unbearable. I won't make it.
May I ask what your condition is?
 
OCDsufferer

OCDsufferer

no longer human
Apr 17, 2024
56
9 I'm going through planning but I'm so throughly watched it's very hard
 
M

Meteora

Ignorance is bliss
Jun 27, 2023
2,007
I feel encouraged by everyone who does it. It lowers my fears and brings me closer to the final salvation.
 
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locked*n*loaded

locked*n*loaded

Archangel
Apr 15, 2022
7,258
99.99999% certain.

Nothing on this planet can be 100%. One must always account for the "unknown unknowns".
 
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