Discussion How has depression affected your appetite?

[sunny.sativa]

I've noticed that many of our friends on here are overweight, by comments I've read, that due to fact that they're emotional eaters (and have been emotionally binging for some time now)
I've also read some responses about being underweight, and having not eaten much in weeks or months.

Has your depression or even other mental illness(es) caused a significant increase or decrease in your body weight? Or have you managed to maintain a normal diet throughout your trial times?

Feel free to share more info, or none at all. I'm curious about this because, as I've mentioned in some posts, I'm a veteran bulimic.

 

[lululoo]

Stress and depression have always led me to eat more. I enjoy eating unless I am in the middle of an anxiety or depression attack. In the past I was slightly overweight because of this, but I've been normal weight for many years now. However I start to hate my body if I get toward the upper end of normal.

I haven't gotten really fat because I go through periods where I'm good at restricting. Also I am pretty good about controlling the food I buy.

I hate the food struggle and wish I could just be effortlessly thin. I will never stop caring about it until the day I die, sadly.

 

[Shining Angel]

Depression causes my body to literally shut down. Like I won't have any appetite at all and will quickly lose weight and begin to look very ghastly, as my ability to salivate and swallow food is literally suppressed. This is of course in extreme cases, but it's very scary to actually experience it for yourself, and causes this chain reaction of anxiety, worrying if I'll ever be able to eat normally again.

 

[WinterIsComing]

I have no apetite for normal food but I do for for anxiety, boredom and sadness.

 

[sunny.sativa]

However I start to hate my body if I get toward the upper end of normal.

I haven't gotten really fat because I go through periods where I'm good at restricting. Also I am pretty good about controlling the food I buy.

I hate the food struggle and wish I could just be effortlessly thin. I will never stop caring about it until the day I die, sadly.

I felt ALLLL this on a soulful level, man. I've never been fat, according to the scale and the doctor and their god-forsaken BMI chart (siiiggggghh) but I would restrict for some time, lose weight, feel good, then binge HARRDDD for months and get .. y'know, almost overweight but I'd feel like a WHALE because just weeks earlier, I'd been 20 lbs lighter?!! Food is hard, dude.

 

[OpheliasFlowers]

I've been underweight/skinny my entire life (bulit like my dad) and I was also a picky eater as a kid AND a nervous child too, which gave me stomachaches which of course in turn affected my already light appetite. I'd also completely lose my appetite altogether when I was very stressed -- and I was often very stressed, so.... It was tough because I got made fun of for being skinny even as far back as 5th and 6th grades (ex. in 6th grade we were doing square dancing in gym class, and I still remember the boy I got paired up with loudly saying upon finding out I was his partner, "Oh great! I got the bag of bones!". That continued into high school where I was still anxious, depressed, stressed, and skinny and unpopular, and was given the lovely nickname "Bonz". :-/ sigh

Anyway, to directly answer the OP's question, yes... depression - and anxiety - definitely affect my appetite to where I'll barely eat anything for days, and I lose weight easily and quickly so I've been at least 15 lbs underweight for the past 20 years no matter how hard I try to eat or what I eat. I also have many physical health issues that impact my diet in terms of what I can eat and so that makes trying to gain weight even more of a challenge.

I hate it because I know I've always looked like a stick and even more so now after so many years of being physically ill and feeling nauseous 99.9% of the time, combined with my out of control anxiety and depression, and aging, all combining together to decrease my appetite or destroy it altogether.

[Incidentally, being skinny/underweight all my life has also made me DESPISE the phrase "Real women have curves!" OK whatever. Guess I'm just a scrawny, skinny, bony, depressed/anxiety-ridden fake woman! lol]

Oh and I find myself eating not the healthiest these days when I do eat, because due to the depression I just don't care enough anymore nor have the energy to make healthy, full meals even if I had the appetite for them. I know I need to eat more, and better, but I just am not usually able to, especially when I'm especially stressing out about something or my insomnia is very, very bad which it more often is than not these days.

Sorry so long. Weight is a touchy subject for me since it's always been an issue for me, and the stupid psyche docs like to use my weight as a handy excuse to blame all my issues on which frustates and infuriates me. Plus it sucks to want to gain weight but have so many GI issues yet the psyche docs keep yelling about how it's 'all anxiety' and even accused me of having an eating disorder. No, I'd love to eat, and eat more and eat lots of different things -- but when you have horrible nausea, intestinal cramps and other things happening every day almost 24/7, it's tough to have an appetite at all, let alone one that will allow for weight gain.

 

[sunny.sativa]

I've been underweight/skinny my entire life (bulit like my dad) and I was also a picky eater as a kid AND a nervous child too, which gave me stomachaches which of course in turn affected my already light appetite. I'd also completely lose my appetite altogether when I was very stressed -- and I was often very stressed, so.... It was tough because I got made fun of for being skinny even as far back as 5th and 6th grades (ex. in 6th grade we were doing square dancing in gym class, and I still remember the boy I got paired up with loudly saying upon finding out I was his partner, "Oh great! I got the bag of bones!". That continued into high school where I was still anxious, depressed, stressed, and skinny and unpopular, and was given the lovely nickname "Bonz". :-/ sigh

Anyway, to directly answer the OP's question, yes... depression - and anxiety - definitely affect my appetite to where I'll barely eat anything for days, and I lose weight easily and quickly so I've been at least 15 lbs underweight for the past 20 years no matter how hard I try to eat or what I eat. I also have many physical health issues that impact my diet in terms of what I can eat and so that makes trying to gain weight even more of a challenge.

I hate it because I know I've always looked like a stick and even more so now after so many years of being physically ill and feeling nauseous 99.9% of the time, combined with my out of control anxiety and depression, and aging, all combining together to decrease my appetite or destroy it altogether.

[Incidentally, being skinny/underweight all my life has also made me DESPISE the phrase "Real women have curves!" OK whatever. Guess I'm just a scrawny, skinny, bony, depressed/anxiety-ridden fake woman! lol]

Oh and I find myself eating not the healthiest these days when I do eat, because due to the depression I just don't care enough anymore nor have the energy to make healthy, full meals even if I had the appetite for them. I know I need to eat more, and better, but I just am not usually able to, especially when I'm especially stressing out about something or my insomnia is very, very bad which it more often is than not these days.

Sorry so long. Weight is a touchy subject for me since it's always been an issue for me, and the stupid psyche docs like to use my weight as a handy excuse to blame all my issues on which frustates and infuriates me. Plus it sucks to want to gain weight but have so many GI issues yet the psyche docs keep yelling about how it's 'all anxiety' and even accused me of having an eating disorder. No, I'd love to eat, and eat more and eat lots of different things -- but when you have horrible nausea, intestinal cramps and other things happening every day almost 24/7, it's tough to have an appetite at all, let alone one that will allow for weight gain.

What a MESS, girl, I hear this.

I can't relate, I've never been sickly skinny for a long period of time, and unfortunately, when I was, I fought to get there. Disgusting, I know. Sick ol ED brain.

This is a bland suggestion that you've probably heard and may find annoying, but have you tried eating highly caloric foods instead of trying to eat more? Instead of forcing yourself to eat (I'm sure that makes food even less enjoyable) maybe just eat a SUPER dense little meal to keep your body going? I had a friend that couldn't gain weight and she would actually just eat a whole ass avocado for lunch and it helped! It was healthy and contained healthy fats and calories.

I'm sorry to hear that it's rough for you. Your weight isn't the problem. Your weight is a RESULT of the problem, I'd say. I hope you find proper help <3

 

[Mart]

I'm not underweight, but I don't really eat meals anymore. Eating has kind of become a chore, my appetite is just dwindling.

 

[OpheliasFlowers]

What a MESS, girl, I hear this.

I can't relate, I've never been sickly skinny for a long period of time, and unfortunately, when I was, I fought to get there. Disgusting, I know. Sick ol ED brain.

This is a bland suggestion that you've probably heard and may find annoying, but have you tried eating highly caloric foods instead of trying to eat more? Instead of forcing yourself to eat (I'm sure that makes food even less enjoyable) maybe just eat a SUPER dense little meal to keep your body going? I had a friend that couldn't gain weight and she would actually just eat a whole ass avocado for lunch and it helped! It was healthy and contained healthy fats and calories.

I'm sorry to hear that it's rough for you. Your weight isn't the problem. Your weight is a RESULT of the problem, I'd say. I hope you find proper help <3

Thank you for such a kind reply. I appreciate it so much. <3 And I'm very sorry you've been affected by food and weight issues...those things are so complex and complicated, and so entwined with mental health, physical health, societal and beauty standards, etc; it's like a huge snarl of yarn trying to sort out and deal with everything. I haven't been around the forums that much so I don't know if you've shared more about your struggle and journey but please know I'm sending you love and the hope that you've reached a better place in regards to your bulimia.

Thank you also for the suggestion about high caloric foods (and it certainly was NOT annoying. I appreciate that you offered it!) and I do do that, when I can. I'd never even had an avocado before 5 years ago when the doctors really started on me to gain weight (not like I hadn't been trying since like 2000 or so!) and researched online about what foods would be good for gaining weight in a healthy way. Luckily I discovered I love avocados! :-) I also use lots of olive oil on foods, some butter, and put heavy cream in my oh-so-delicious Boost or Ensure (yuk). I'm still only hovering around 102 to 103 lbs though, despite years of trying. I think I have undiagnosed GI stuff that the doctors blow off and don't look into and that's at least a large part of why I'm not able to gain. I know my mental health plays a huge part too, though. I also have some blood sugar weirdness so they've told me to eat a low-glycemic diet so stuff like ice cream, puddings, etc is out. :(

If anyone has any low-glycemic, high caloric ideas for meals though I'd be appreciative and grateful!

Thank you again for your lovely post and the kind words. Things have been especially bad for me lately, and I have nobody to talk to IRL about this stuff so your kindness means a lot more to me than you know. I'm glad I logged in here tonight. Thanks again <3

I'm not underweight, but I don't really eat meals anymore. Eating has kind of become a chore, my appetite is just dwindling.

Eating being a chore is an excellent way to put it. That's how I feel as well.

 

[LastFlowers]

I go back and forth with the two extremes. Sometimes there is a middle ground but not much lately.

 

[Pupuce]

It didn't affect how much I eat, but more what I eat. Sweets, cake and sodas. A lot of them, and I like that. And I'm lucky enough to not get any fatter and have a perfectly normal blood sugar level. So I guess I've got that going right for me. I'd do without the cavities though.

 

[Superfluous]

I tend to have reduced appetite. However, I put weight on due to excessive alcohol consumption and no exercise.

 

[Loli]

I barely eat anything. During depressive episodes I eat one meal a day or nothing at all.

 

[Bärchen]

I'm obese all my life.
My fattest was 145kg at 1.79m 2 years ago, now i'm losing weight since the end of march this year and 2 days ago i was at 124,4kg.
I tend to eat less when i'm sad and the last month was really rough for me. So i think it helps, being sad.

I changed my diet to many vegetables, less fat almost no sugar (that stuff is everywhere) and i go to the gym 2-4 times a week, but that started only 2 weeks ago.
I have a mini bike too, i use it while playing PS4.

 

[Chalken]

I have to force myself to eat, because if I don't, I start to feel physical symptoms such as dizziness, shaking, etc. I'm a skinny male, so I look bad enough already.

On another note, has anyone else lost the ability to enjoy or taste food properly due to depression?

 

[Begemont]

I don't eat much. Maybe 2 proper meals a week. Some slices of bread in addition. I'm probably severely underweight again but I don't really care. I don't feel hunger anymore. And well, don't much care for food either.

At my worst I've been about 52kg. Which is relatively little considering I'm 188cm tall. Don't know how much now.

 

[TAW122]

I tend to eat more when I feel like shit and oftenly I eat sweet food or unhealthy foods, which can lead to weight gain. Also, I'm less conscious of what I eat when I feel like shit so that also doesn't help me cut back the weight.

 

[Allpainnogain]

I have to force myself to eat, because if I don't, I start to feel physical symptoms such as dizziness, shaking, etc. I'm a skinny male, so I look bad enough already.

On another note, has anyone else lost the ability to enjoy or taste food properly due to depression?

I enjoy nothzing anymore

 

[sunny.sativa]

I have to force myself to eat, because if I don't, I start to feel physical symptoms such as dizziness, shaking, etc. I'm a skinny male, so I look bad enough already.

On another note, has anyone else lost the ability to enjoy or taste food properly due to depression?

When I'm emotionally binging, I sort of just ...stuff food into my mouth and I'm usually crying during this process?? Super weird haha but I'll binge so hard and just stuff my face with everything I can find, as quickly as I can swallow it. I don't taste anything. I don't look for texture or smell or nutrition.. everything that makes food enjoyable is gone and all of a sudden I hate food because I can't stop inhaling it.
You'd think this would make me stop but noOOoOoooOo?? mental illness is fuckin whack.

 

[ExitTheDay]

Whenever I'm depressed I cannot stop eating because sometimes I feel like it's the only comfort I have and I know it's not the healthiest way to cope but I'd rather do that than cut my wrists and complain to people who dont give a fuck to hear about my problems in the first place

 

[sunny.sativa]

Whenever I'm depressed I cannot stop eating because sometimes I feel like it's the only comfort I have and I know it's not the healthiest way to cope but I'd rather do that than cut my wrists and complain to people who dont give a fuck to hear about my problems in the first place

Aaamen. In my experience, it's almost easier to feel overindulged and painfully stuffed than to feel sad and shitty.

 

[ExitTheDay]

Aaamen. In my experience, it's almost easier to feel overindulged and painfully stuffed than to feel sad and shitty.

Couldn't agree anymore

 

[Final Escape]

I typically lose my appetite when depressed.

 

[my heart hurts]

I haven't been hungry in ages. Everything tastes bland anyways.

 

[sunny.sativa]

I typically lose my appetite when depressed.

I'm a sick, twisted SOB, so my brain tells me I'm jealous. Being bulimic feels like being a failed anorexic, I wish I just stopped eating instead of turning into a piiigggg

 

[Ruffian]

Food is very triggering for variety of reasons and emotions. My mom planned revenge meals. I thought I was imagining it until I read The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen. He goes through the mom's whole thought process. To this day grocery shopping, food prep, meals, all can make me lose my shit. Especially my current kitchen. I go back and forth, but it's very hard to eat when I'm really anxious or depressed.

 

[Final Escape]

I'm a sick, twisted SOB, so my brain tells me I'm jealous. Being bulimic feels like being a failed anorexic, I wish I just stopped eating instead of turning into a piiigggg

Don't be, that is the only area I haven't struggled with. Or one of the few. I self medicate in other ways.

 

[everrgreenn]

a few years ago, it was hard for me to even look at food without feeling sick. i was underweight for a long time to the point where my friends would start to notice and question me about it. i do eat more now, but i always feel awful about myself when i do. i always think im overeating even when i just have some tiny snacks throughout the day and no meals.

 

[Soul]

Thank you for such a kind reply. I appreciate it so much. <3 And I'm very sorry you've been affected by food and weight issues...those things are so complex and complicated, and so entwined with mental health, physical health, societal and beauty standards, etc; it's like a huge snarl of yarn trying to sort out and deal with everything. I haven't been around the forums that much so I don't know if you've shared more about your struggle and journey but please know I'm sending you love and the hope that you've reached a better place in regards to your bulimia.

Thank you also for the suggestion about high caloric foods (and it certainly was NOT annoying. I appreciate that you offered it!) and I do do that, when I can. I'd never even had an avocado before 5 years ago when the doctors really started on me to gain weight (not like I hadn't been trying since like 2000 or so!) and researched online about what foods would be good for gaining weight in a healthy way. Luckily I discovered I love avocados! :-) I also use lots of olive oil on foods, some butter, and put heavy cream in my oh-so-delicious Boost or Ensure (yuk). I'm still only hovering around 102 to 103 lbs though, despite years of trying. I think I have undiagnosed GI stuff that the doctors blow off and don't look into and that's at least a large part of why I'm not able to gain. I know my mental health plays a huge part too, though. I also have some blood sugar weirdness so they've told me to eat a low-glycemic diet so stuff like ice cream, puddings, etc is out. :(

If anyone has any low-glycemic, high caloric ideas for meals though I'd be appreciative and grateful!
Thank you again for your lovely post and the kind words. Things have been especially bad for me lately, and I have nobody to talk to IRL about this stuff so your kindness means a lot more to me than you know. I'm glad I logged in here tonight. Thanks again <3

Even diagnosed GI issues can be a large and ugly mystery, I've found. I don't want to discourage you, but I've spent a few years jumping through all kinds of hoops for my gastroenterologist, and although some of the problems are different than they were before, they're no better than they were before.

Are you okay with nuts and seeds? Soba noodles in sesame sauce, hummus bi tahini, grilled peanut butter sandwiches, that kind of thing? All very healthful and high calorie.

 

[First loss]

I eat much less then I use to. Yesterday, the only things I ate combined were weighing about 100 grams.