Discussion How do you feel the moment you wake up?

[Midnight-rain]

Anger that I woke up at all and then dread at the knowledge that I just have to be patient for my bus.

 

[OrdinaryDay]

This is a good question and see so many good replies. When I wake up in the morning first thing I do is I try to understand how am I feeling about waking up and then I just build my way throughout the day based on how I woke up. Most of the time I dread waking up so most of my days I hate everything. But I'm sure it's a lot better than waking up okay and the get disappointed later that day.

 

[_Kaira_]

A whirlwind of emotions. Disappointment, overwhelming sadness, anger, self-hatred. Many other things. I wish I could just die in my sleep without having to induce CTB myself...

 

[LooksAtMoonDog]

Disappointment that I've re-entered this dismal "reality" from the cool dream I was having.

 

[Ghost2211]

Hungry

 

[Rue89]

Most mornings I wake up with anxiety. It's hard to get out of bed. Usually I can't pinpoint a cause for the anxiety. It's just there. I suffer with anxiety all day, but something about waking up with it just feels kind of worse, or harder to handle.

 

[Throwmyselfaway]

I wake up, put my ear buds back in, put on a true crime podcast, cover my head and pretend to sleep for another hour. This leads to the questions of why did I wake and is it time yet

 

[Yiyo123]

I go to sleep every night wishing it would be my last. When I wake up I feel upset and dissapointed. I know is wrong but that's how I feel every day.

 

[Pharmaruined]

Another day of numbness.. another day I wont be able to go after a girl I really want and I know likes me.. another day spending all my time trying to heal my libido. another day realizing I'm not getting anywhere. I'm destined to die alone and never have sex again..

I work my ass off, eat perfect, workout., Take gobs of supplements. ... Never get the payoff.. it just sucks.

I'm not part of this world anymore.. despite my will, my brain and body are in total defiance to the laws of nature and healing,

 

[Gromit-CTB]

Groundhog Day. Depressed and still alive and got to do it again, but only get max two hours tormented sleep. Only relief is day closer to ctb hopefully

 

[degeneratewaste]

when I wake up properly, the first thing that I feel in general is a heavy sinking weight in my heart. it's like heartbreak, but it comes every single day.

 

[Bärchen]

"Not again"

 

[Raminiki]

'How often do you feel suicidal?' demanded the disability assessor, dispassionately.

'Every day I wake up wishing I'd died in my sleep,' I replied, my voice grating with emotion.

'Are you at risk of hurting yourself?' asked the crisis nurse, matter-of-factly.

'I've been suicidal for 15 years and started researching a decade ago. Check my records. I've never done anything impulsive,' I said blandly. I'd been suicidal for so long that it felt normal to admit such things, and I was known to joke about it, or use it sarcastically.

A long, long time I've woken up apathetic to my continued existence and wished I could hibernate half the year away.

 

[LeapOfFaith]

Usually, in moment that you still have your eyes closed but are starting to wake up, is when you realize how bad it is.

I can relate to this so much. Been like this for a couple of years now. I wish I could gather the courage to just ctb. My heart starts to beat faster and faster then I enter a mental state of total despair for about an hour. Takes 1.5h to get out of bed into a life I feel trapped in. Same story every single day.

My only true wish is to die in my sleep.

 

[Leiden]

It's the most awful feeling waking up. I wake up with so much dread, hopelessness, anxiety and pain. So much fear and despair. It's agony. I wonder how the hell I am going to make it through this day, how the hell did my life come to this.

 

[Weary Soul]

Sad. It would be so much easier to never wake up again.

 

[signifying nothing]

A bit confused. Have to take a moment to remember myself.

Then its just SSDD.

 

[newave3]

Groundhog Day. Depressed and still alive and got to do it again, but only get max two hours tormented sleep. Only relief is day closer to ctb hopefully

Dam Gromit, you get to me...I feel bad for you and wish I could help.

 

[Gromit-CTB]

Dam Gromit, you get to me...I feel bad for you and wish I could help.

If I was an animal I would have been put down by now. Happy to be killed if anyone wants to take me to woods and shoot me

 

[newave3]

If I was an animal I would have been put down by now. Happy to be killed if anyone wants to take me to woods and shoot me

I hear ya ....I wish someone would do the same for me.

 

[DeathBySuicide]

Dread

 

[IAmExhausted]

I can relate to most of the things you're saying. Mornings are really bad. Beside my mental condition I have several physical pain, too.

When I wake up it's usually a very bad feeling. I do not wake up all of a sudden. It's more like a process. It's a constant mixture of waking up and falling asleep for just little minutes, even just seconds. I'm too tired to get myself up and do whatever. This process can last for about an hour. Or at least it feels that long. Whenever I wake up from those short minutes of sleep it almost feels like a little shock inside. Anxiety, sadness. Hard to explain. Most of all my thoughts come up within seconds. Part of my mental illness. So I try to put them back to sleep again. What usually doesn't work because actually I'm not tired anymore. Can not be after 8hrs sleep.

What's so bad about it, it's the time the outside world seems to be most active. What I'm trying to say, it seems it's the time of the day you usually do your important things, call doctors, make appointments, get things done basically. And I just lay there and do nothing. Gives you a feeling of guilt on top.

 

[SorrySandy]

That split second moment when I become conscious and that heavy horrible weight hits me.. my eternal worst time of day, hands down. Always wish I'd never woken up

 

[suffocatingseraphim]

Every day without fail my immediate first thought is to go back to sleep, since it's my one way of escaping from the hurt.

When I do wake up, have to force myself to be 'productive,' all I can really feel is this deep, stinging heartache and agony that I have to keep going.

Every day for more than a decade I've had this weight on my mind and soul. Feels like I'm being reduced to this pool of dread, all I can do is pray that something will finally make it stop and take that agony away.

 

[muffin222]

I usually immediately go back to sleep upon waking up for the first time

 

[angelfeather]

I woke up feeling really distressed this morning with my intrusive thoughts telling me "It's too late." (I've been trying to engage in therapy since August.) I understand what they mean though that it's too late for help...

 

[serendipities]

i wake up and hate the day immediately. it feels like the weight of depression kitty (big mouth lol) is lying on my chest

 

[AnnonyBox]

Extremely tired, and with the notion that it's not worth getting out of bed. In the moment I'm annoued woth everything for having go wake up. Sleeping is like a hobby to me.

 

[demuic]

I just woke up, remembered I live in this bullshit world, with all the idiot crap humans do, and got annoyed.

 

[Adamsnolife]

Just woken up. Feel like shit. Wanna go back to sleep but can't