Discussion how do you feel about suicidal ideation on children?

[loslassen]

I have this in mind because I want to know if people even actually care. I had my first suicidal thoughts when I was 11, in the middle of a very traumatic event in my life. I am still relatively young(18), and it disappoints me and adults disappoint me because I wish I'd at least have a shot at life, a proper development, that if I eventually became suicidal at least it'd be my fault, my responsibility or my bad decisions as an adult.

so as adults, how do you feel about suicidal ideation on children? did you experience them? have you had children who did? how would you make up for it?
this is low key a big middle finger to my parents if they ever find out I'm active in this site, but it probably won't matter after I'm gone.


also I know this is a controversial topic, so please don't debate on undermining other people's opinions. I think development fairness is a real thing, and that no child should ever feel this way, that they deserve all possible support to living a good life.

 

[Silent Raindrops]

I had my first thought of suicide when I was 12 or 13 when my bouts of depression started. To this day, I have no idea what triggered it, but 40 years later, and my depression is still here.

Although there's no way to prevent adult people from having suicidal thoughts, sadly, young kids have them as well. I hate that it happens to them while that are that young.

 

[LetMeBeSad]

I had my first serious attempt when I was 8. It was laughably pathetic but, I stabbed myself in the chest with the real intention of dying. I think that everyone including young ones, should be taken seriously and be allowed to have serious discussions about it. Without the ability to talk about it, it just festers and gets worse.

And I think that's the big problem. Not that kids have suicidal thoughts. It's that they, like us old ones are stigmatized to the point where discussion is detrimental.

 

[cryone]

i dont rly quite understand your question, so apologies if i dont have the answer u want...but i think suicide ideation is very common amongst children. atleast, more than we think. still, i dont think any amount of good parenting could truly make it so that a child was immune. i was one myself. It just happened n I think it first began when i was very lonely and isolated in elementary. i feel like thats one of the worst ways to ruin a kid. i got more friends as time went by, but it never got better.

 

[fuzzy-clown]

I had suicide ideation as a child. I understand that my parents couldn't afford to get me professional help. I can't even afford professional help now.

 

[skyhigh7688]

i remember when i was in early elementary school i told my guardians that i want to be a baby again.

i remember the feeling of wanting to be gone but i didn't know people could ctb themselves so to my little kid brain being a baby is the equivalent or being "nothing".

 

[sammiechzxv]

Wdym how do I feel about it I'm not gonna be mad at them for it

Anyways I've been suicidal since I was 7 or 8. It's perfectly valid to experience suicidal ideation at a young age. I was severely abused & neglected my entire childhood, ofc I wanted to die, who's actually going to look at a child going through that say "nope, not for you, talk me about it when you're 18 and then it might be valid"?? (At least, what decent person)

I find it sad, of course. But life is life. I don't think assisted suicide should be legal for anyone under 25 because their brain isn't fully developed, but if they do it on their own then what can you do.

 

[Kit1]

I am not sure how old I was when I started to feel suicidal - but tried to end my life twice aged 14 and ended up in hospital both times. At school, a classmate (I didn't know her well) died and my classmates said that she had ended her life - never confirmed, but truly sad. I am in my 40s now.

I have two children - teenagers. They are thankfully both happy young people and are very open about their feelings - I get the unedited version for which I am grateful. When my son started university 16 months ago, we had a chat about how he felt, suicide etc (it was the first time he wlwas living on campus and away from home) and he was fine, but we always catch up on a daily basis. A couple of years ago, a 14 year old child feom my daughter's year group ended his life - she never knew him, but was distraught as she could not believe that he or anyone could be "sad" enough to end his life. I went for the funeral and was surprised at how everyone talked this happy kid and his sudden death.

As a parent, I feel that connection and open communication is really important. As a family, we always talk about how we feel - or at least my children and partner does and we try not to end the day without talking about that day and also resolving and having a plan to resolve whatever challenges have come up. Mental health is something that needs to be continually worked on - I live with suicidal ideation and am trying my best to make sure that loved ones do not suffer as I do and have positive mental well being practises. Social connection is important for the children and they will speak and message each other - and they are both close to a few others who they have known all their lives. Again this is something that I had to work hard on as it doesn't come naturally to someone with mental health challenges and neurodivergence. There is a massive responsibility for the parents to look after their children and ensure that they are healthy in every way possible and give them the love, kindness, confidence, compassion, understanding, safety to explore teh world from a place of safety and get to a point where they can explore the world and set their roots down as they please.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I was 10 when I first had suicidal thoughts.

I suppose I do understand why something like an assisted suicide programme would be limited to 18+ adults (unless there are extenuating circumstances.) Similarly, why this forum is for 18+. I don't think we have quite the same coping mechanisms emotionally or knowledge when we're young as we do when we're adults. We can't always see a way out when we're a child. As we grow, I think we realise that we can sometimes escape certain situations (depending on our circumstances) and in other ways, we get better at knowing what is actually important to us. That is of course a very broad statement but I assume many of the other big decision making choices are allowed at 18 for a reason. So, I tend to agree with that as a standard for allowing easy(ish) access to suicide or method information.

The reasoning being that there may very well be alternatives that the child can't see. (More I'd argue when we are young. There will be more investment in helping the young I imagine and at that stage- at least for me, I felt like more doors were open.) The hope is that they make use of the support out there- hoping that there is indeed support for them rather than going straight for suicide.

In terms of a feeling though- that's where this is so sad. For me, ages 10-18 were the very worst of my life (to date.) I felt so desperately unhappy. So utterly trapped in my situation and so alone. That's the worst thing about all this. In denying children access to a place like this (which I do agree with) they are also denied access to a support system where they can tell people their problems and they will be actually listened to and sympathised with.

Children in particular desperately need this and if they're coming here and trying to stay here- that surely means they can't find this anywhere else! That's where our governments and parents need to step up- I feel. Children need a safe space where they can express their true thoughts and not be riduculed, dismissed, or treated terribly heavy handedly and carted off to a psyche ward. It really angers me in fact that they don't have this! They need to be free to express how they really feel and not be terrified of the consequences. That's a greater criticism of the whole world in general though. Suicidal adults quite often won't express their true feelings because they fear the consequences. That isn't going to solve anything!

As a thing though, it's sad- terribly sad. The worst in terms of a feeling I think because, we are genuinely vulnerable when we are children. We don't know all our options and we're likely alone. If we're unfortunate to have grown up around narcissists, sociopaths, we won't know they are! At the least, we'll be utterly baffled by their behaviour. At worst- we'll believe their gas lighting. We're believe it's our fault. And, that will follow us into adulthood. Plus, I have this suspicion that, once you've considered suicide as a legitimate option, those thoughts are always there as an option.

I guess the greatest difficulty I have is when I consider- were my suicidal thoughts at age 10, 13, 18, in my twenties, my thirties so very different to my suicidal thoughts now- at 44? The motive behind them changed I guess. But- were they illegitimate when I was a child? Of course not. No feelings are illegitimate! How can you deny what someone is feeling? I guess the issue is on when we 'should' be allowed to act on them and it be considered reasonable or rational.

I suppose the reasoning is- a child will likely only really know it's home environment, school, maybe a few social activities. If those are awful, of course the child will want out. I suppose the reasoning is that adulthood brings with it a bigger world to escape in to. I think the hope I suppose is that the person has tried more options before they leave. That assumes they magically want to though! I think that's something they ignore about suicidal people of all ages. Quite a few have simply lost all interest and motivation in life. With that attitude- just how well are they likely to do in life? How can someone be happy if they hate everything?!!

 

[UKscotty]

I had it a bit at say 10-15 years old but I don't really count that as deep suicidal thoughts, it was more late teens for me.

It's hard to separate just normal growing up hormone changes and emotions running riot to actually being suicidal, at least for me looking back.

As for more generally, I share my thoughts on this a lot, the right to die is universal, at least here in the UK. There is no age limit on suicide and I think that's fair.
That's not to say I am some monster who thinks toddlers should be hanging themselves, because frankly that is just ridiculous media hype.

I doubt many people under say 11/12 CTB, and I would bet my house that of those, a significant majority are due to bullying or general shitty parents.

It is an extremely controversial topic here, I respect the forum owners decision to impose an 18+ limit even if I personally would make it 13+ like Facebook and TikTok etc.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I've had it since I was around 11 years old when my parents separated. I'd like to say that I should have just ended it all there somehow and that it would have been nice to prevent all of the suffering I've endured until now……..but I also can't deny that in the almost two decades since then there have been just as many unforgettable and positive experiences I've had that make me feel glad I at least stuck around this long. Although none of them are really enough to make me not want to CTB after I turn 30 with the current trajectory I'm on and plus most of those experiences were related to video games or other childish things in some way so maybe to some people they'll never get lucky enough to experience those things.

 

[mortuarymary]

Never thought of it as A child, wasn't until my university years that I became very depressed and got diagnose.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I am still relatively young(18),

Relatively? 34 is relatively young. Last year you were a child. :)

How do I feel about suicidal ideation in children? Well it's clearly not a good thing. A heartbreaking thing in fact. Unfortunately many aspects of modern society have been very conducive to the increased prevalence of suicidal ideation in children.

It's hard to judge whether the totality of life is worthwhile based on one's restricted experiences as a minor. So it's in your interest to make it a few years at least past becoming of age.

 

[Cara7177]

I have this in mind because I want to know if people even actually care. I had my first suicidal thoughts when I was 11, in the middle of a very traumatic event in my life. I am still relatively young(18), and it disappoints me and adults disappoint me because I wish I'd at least have a shot at life, a proper development, that if I eventually became suicidal at least it'd be my fault, my responsibility or my bad decisions as an adult.

so as adults, how do you feel about suicidal ideation on children? did you experience them? have you had children who did? how would you make up for it?
this is low key a big middle finger to my parents if they ever find out I'm active in this site, but it probably won't matter after I'm gone.


also I know this is a controversial topic, so please don't debate on undermining other people's opinions. I think development fairness is a real thing, and that no child should ever feel this way, that they deserve all possible support to living a good life.

I had my first thought of suicide at ten, after my grandfather raped me. Suicidal ideation in children is more common than you think.

 

[Doemu]

I had my first attempt at 11. And I wish everything just ended there.

But if we think that children can't decide about sex, contracts, drugs... How can we say that they are prepared to decide about death?

The truly problem is that a child Wana kill himself. What made a children suffer enough to really want it.

 

[cold_severance]

i had si from around 10y and i shouldve just opted out back then if not earlier. to force anyone, children included to live against their will is just plain sadistic. no one fucking cares about children who are abused or neglected. idk where that notion that children cant decide anything for themsleves even comes from, they are treated like theyre subhuman. must be nice getting your social points out of someone elses misery, that is humanitys degeneracy at its finest.

 

[MissUSoMuchBabyGirl]

i dont rly quite understand your question, so apologies if i dont have the answer u want...but i think suicide ideation is very common amongst children. atleast, more than we think. still, i dont think any amount of good parenting could truly make it so that a child was immune. i was one myself. It just happened n I think it first began when i was very lonely and isolated in elementary. i feel like thats one of the worst ways to ruin a kid. i got more friends as time went by, but it never got better.

Just reading this response makes me feel so sad. (((Virtual Hugs))).

I had my first attempt at 11. And I wish everything just ended there.

But if we think that children can't decide about sex, contracts, drugs... How can we say that they are prepared to decide about death?

The truly problem is that a child Wana kill himself. What made a children suffer enough to really want it.

How did you attempt when you were 11?

 

[tsumihoroboshi]

It makes me very sad that people so young feel that way. To have lived a life so horrible that they turn to those thoughts younger than even a teenager. My first suicidal thoughts started when I was probably around when I was 11, I think. My brother also started having those thoughts when he was only 7.

I didn't know the concept of suicide until I was around 8 and my sister's classmate had hanged herself. That girl was on the cusp of 13/14 years old. I never even thought it'd ever became a regular thought of mine until just a few years later and persisting since then. I started s-hing when I was 12 and I wouldn't actually attempt until I was around 17/18.

Children's feelings shouldn't be brushed off. When someone so young has thoughts like that, it's the duty as adults to help them. Forcing someone to live when they don't want to is a cruel even when the person is a child, but at the same time...children are still so young that they have a chance to get better. They need to be listened to at that age. No child should ever have to feel this way, but I've read articles of children under 10 that ctb bcus they felt they had no other option. It just makes me sad, I don't know... Aaaaa. I can feel my thoughts running in circles.

 

[AlcoholicsCalculus]

I remember as early as 5th grade, things like school assignments would stress me out so much that I would tell myself I'd rather be dead than have to complete them. That evolved into active suicidal ideation as a young adult and has only strengthened with time.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I always ask myself what must happen that children become suicidal. Trauma, bullying, abuse, toxic household, terrible parents, stress in school, too much pressure - there are certainly a lot more things that could be listed here. That's what I would assume in most cases.

Children's feelings shouldn't be brushed off. When someone so young has thoughts like that, it's the duty as adults to help them. Forcing someone to live when they don't want to is a cruel even when the person is a child, but at the same time...children are still so young that they have a chance to get better. They need to be listened to at that age. No child should ever have to feel this way, but I've read articles of children under 10 that ctb bcus they felt they had no other option. It just makes me sad, I don't know... Aaaaa. I can feel my thoughts running in circles.

Imo what you describe here can only be changed if those children get taken out of their toxic home / environments, out of stress situations. How could they discuss their thoughts with their parents when the parents/household/stress is the reason? Ik the whole stuff is far more complex. No child is suicidal by birth.

 

[Malaria]

It makes me feel so sad that children go through that. I'm very sensitive to the pain of children.

Personally, I've been self harming since I was 10 years old, I started having suicidal thoughts around 12 years old and first attempted when I was around 13.

 

[R_N]

It makes me sad.

 

[vile samsara]

Been having SI since I was 9, and when my parents found out, they were infuriated and hung a noose in an attempt to scare me. Whenever I see a child around that age, my heart breaks. I don't understand how they could do that to a baby.