How do you cope with life?

[Cheemo]

I feel like existence is just learning how to cope every day. What do you do? (I'm especially asking people who have no motivation or is apathetic.)

 

[stygal]

Hard to say...find at least something that occupies your time long enough so you have a few minutes/hours where you don't constantly dread everything - for me it's drawing, playing a stupid App-game or doing photo collages (even though I really need to push myself to get started but once I'm doing it I actually enjoy every second)

 

[Pure]

Drugs

 

[Cheemo]

Drugs

I used to smoke pot often but it messed with my meds and made my anxiety worse. So I've been clean for the most part :/

Hard to say...find at least something that occupies your time long enough so you have a few minutes/hours where you don't constantly dread everything - for me it's drawing, playing a stupid App-game or doing photo collages (even though I really need to push myself to get started but once I'm doing it I actually enjoy every second)

My problem is I never feel like doing anything anymore. Most things feel like a hassle, for example playing video games. A lot of my problem is just starting things too. :/

 

[ClownMe]

Sadly, I dont.

 

[stygal]

I used to smoke pot often but it messed with my meds and made my anxiety worse. So I've been clean for the most part :/

My problem is I never feel like doing anything anymore. Most things feel like a hassle, for example playing video games. A lot of my problem is just starting things too. :/

I get it and that's why I really like App-Mini-Games, browsing forums or doing just very quick drawings - really minimal effort but gets your brain into "work mode" or just "now I gotta act a little bit mode" and maybe over time I can get onto bigger projects or into watching shows/playing actual games. At least that's my way of combating it.

 

[everydayiloveyou]

I just put up with it and try to focus on the (hopefully) decent life I'll have at the end of it all. But if it becomes too much by a certain age, I will have a way out. So either way I'll be peaceful amd happy in the end.

I go to therapy to learn how to do better. I go to work and school every day so that I can be around people and work towards something.

I need to go out and do stuff, or else I forget how easy it all is. Having a job has been really helpful since I used to get the most anxious and depressed during school breaks. Like literally forgetting what it was like to be outside, feeling like everyone was watching me and that bad things were gonna happen as soon as I took my first steps out of the house on the first day of school. Now that I work, it's nowhere near as stressful, and going outside is not that big of a deal. It all comes back as soon as I take too many days off though.

 

[Cheemo]

I just put up with it and try to focus on the (hopefully) decent life I'll have at the end of it all. But if it becomes too much by a certain age, I will have a way out. So either way I'll be peaceful amd happy in the end.

I go to therapy to learn how to do better. I go to work and school every day so that I can be around people and work towards something.

I need to go out and do stuff, or else I forget how easy it all is. Having a job has been really helpful since I used to get the most anxious and depressed during school breaks. Like literally forgetting what it was like to be outside, feeling like everyone was watching me and that bad things were gonna happen as soon as I took my first steps out of the house on the first day of school. Now that I work, it's nowhere near as stressful, and going outside is not that big of a deal. It all comes back as soon as I take too many days off though.

Ah yes keeping busy seems to be the best thing. Because it is break rn I've grown lazy and mostly just lay in bed all day. I work three days a week at a restaurant but half the time I dread going. I'm also terrified for when school starts because life will be so much harder.
Also, what is a good age to ctb? I'm 28. Do you think it's still too early? Like should I wait till I finish college first? I'm terrified after college and living in the "real world". Am I lazy thinking I wouldnt be able to handle it all?

 

[FuneralCry]

I try to sleep as much as possible and try to distract myself and pass the time. I do not have much energy or really enjoy anything though.

 

[Cheemo]

I try to sleep as much as possible and try to distract myself and pass the time. I do not have much energy or really enjoy anything though.

I sleep so much too.. I believe my dream worlds are so much more interesting. I sleep so much I swear relative to a 14 year old kid they have lived longer than me.

 

[Grav]

I buy lots of stuff and feel good when it arrives, then sink lower. So now forcing myself to work on some hobbies which do give some relief as I get to paint and have music on.

 

[luten]

THB, anti-depressants. Wellbutrin always get me out of episodes, and very quickly. But, at the end of the day, I still have my circumstances, which will be with me until the end. I think it is important to live the best life you possibly can until you not here any-longer, even if that day is tomorrow.

Listening to debates (usually scientific) between two, or more people also distracts me from my situation. Driving.

 

[motel rooms]

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

Fast-forwarding time with gaming, podcasts and strength training. Feels like I finally know what I have to do to actually get stronger in the gym. I'm bad at eating so I'm adjusting volume accordingly and am working on the mental aspects of lifting.

Would be cool to be able to put more weights on those bars, I saw some meme where you're doomed to lift heavy if you go 25 or 30 years without ever having a girlfriend. Tbh if I can lift super heavy weights at the end maybe the hundreds of hours of extreme emotional pain will have been worth it to some part of me, sometimes. I'll also be able to kill myself by dropping 300kg on my neck or deadlift my heart into splitting in two.

 

[Makko]

I work and dream. It's not as zen as it sounds, considering the material contents.

I'll also be able to kill myself by dropping 300kg on my neck or deadlift my heart into splitting in two.

That's metal. Do both. Also you have to grow your hair and windmill while doing it

 

[Sad_Autistic_boy_101]

Drugs, drinking and also gaming.
However music is also a big part. They rap or sing the words that I'm unable to explain how I'm feeling.

I've also discovered CBD drinks! So going to see if they help me relax a little

 

[everydayiloveyou]

Ah yes keeping busy seems to be the best thing. Because it is break rn I've grown lazy and mostly just lay in bed all day. I work three days a week at a restaurant but half the time I dread going. I'm also terrified for when school starts because life will be so much harder.
Also, what is a good age to ctb? I'm 28. Do you think it's still too early? Like should I wait till I finish college first? I'm terrified after college and living in the "real world". Am I lazy thinking I wouldnt be able to handle it all?

There's no "good age," it's a very personal decision. But if there was gonna be legal assisted euthanasia for the mentally ill, I've always felt that the minimum age should be 25 (which is around when the brain stops "growing")

What is hard about work or school for you? Maybe a different job or major would be better for you and help give you focus and purpose. Also it's ok if those things are hard. we are all on SS because we have some kind of mental illness. By definition, some things will be harder for us than they are for others. It doesn't mean you're lazy or incapable of handling things. You have different needs and circumstances, and happened to be born during an era where adequate care is usually inaccessible and there's a big stigma against mentally ill people still (which compounds the difficulty of basic life tasks like school and work)

Now... knowing nothing else about you, I do think right after college would be too early. Sometimes working life is a million times better than college so it's a possibility. But idk anything about your life beyond what you described in your post.

If you've never gone to therapy I would really try that first though. I have social anxiety and therapy really helps for it. I'm still not sure if it will be worth it or if my problem will get better, since after 10 years of dealing with it I only made a little progress, also it's very inaccessible for me so I haven't been able to go regularly. I'm a hopeful person though so it's easy to come up with reasons why others shouldn't do it, and from my perspective you are still young and have a lot of potential! But as a fellow suicidal person I know how it feels to have to consider this decision so I'm not gonna be pushy about it. Make whichever decision you want, when you want. Only you can determine the extent of your suffering and evaluate the possibilities before you. All I can do is make a short and very useless judgement based on some words you put on a suicide site

 

[Cheemo]

There's no "good age," it's a very personal decision. But if there was gonna be legal assisted euthanasia for the mentally ill, I've always felt that the minimum age should be 25 (which is around when the brain stops "growing")

What is hard about work or school for you? Maybe a different job or major would be better for you and help give you focus and purpose. Also it's ok if those things are hard. we are all on SS because we have some kind of mental illness. By definition, some things will be harder for us than they are for others. It doesn't mean you're lazy or incapable of handling things. You have different needs and circumstances, and happened to be born during an era where adequate care is usually inaccessible and there's a big stigma against mentally ill people still (which compounds the difficulty of basic life tasks like school and work)

Now... knowing nothing else about you, I do think right after college would be too early. Sometimes working life is a million times better than college so it's a possibility. But idk anything about your life beyond what you described in your post.

If you've never gone to therapy I would really try that first though. I have social anxiety and therapy really helps for it. I'm still not sure if it will be worth it or if my problem will get better, since after 10 years of dealing with it I only made a little progress, also it's very inaccessible for me so I haven't been able to go regularly. I'm a hopeful person though so it's easy to come up with reasons why others shouldn't do it, and from my perspective you are still young and have a lot of potential! But as a fellow suicidal person I know how it feels to have to consider this decision so I'm not gonna be pushy about it. Make whichever decision you want, when you want. Only you can determine the extent of your suffering and evaluate the possibilities before you. All I can do is make a short and very useless judgement based on some words you put on a suicide site

So I'm currently in school for computer science. I used to be civil engineering only because my dad made me do it when I was younger. Unfortunately I cannot change my major anymore. I changed too many times. I've been in college for 10 years now. And even if I could change it Idek what it would be.. my mom is a doctor and my aunts and uncles are architects and engineers and computer scientists. I'm Asian so I feel so much pressure all the time. Even though my parents now understand that there's more jobs out there than just those I still have this learned behavior that I'm supposed to do something great but I don't think I'm good enough to. Not only that because I self loathe so much and have low confidence and self esteem I can't see myself doing any other job besides those. (No offense to others).

I'm terrified of living the "real world" and I don't think I can handle it. I'm super privileged and more well off than others. I don't have to worry about money or working or physical sickness. Because of this I feel like I tend to focus on inner things. I feel pathetic because I feel like I make up everything in my head because there is nothing else to worry about. I feel like I'm a spoiled brat. All I want is instant gratification and I hate myself for it. It's hard to grow up because my mother over cares for me too much because of my condition therefore I never have to work. Until soon. Once i graduate. IF I graduate. I almost finished civil engineering but ended up in the psych ward instead because I was prepping for suicide.

I was always known as the cry baby of the family. I deal with depression and anxiety, borderline personality disorder, adhd, body dismorphia, and recently diagnosed as bipolar. Sometimes I don't believe I am bipolar but the psychiatrist seems pretty sure…
I've gone to therapy many times but it never sticks. The problem is controlling my spirals at the moment. I know what I'm supposed to do but I can't control my emotions sometimes. That's why I plan to do more extensive therapy like DBT. My brain has been so negative, self loathing, and low confidence for so long. How could I not hate myself? Look how selfish and pathetic I am? I feel like I don't have a valid enough reason to ctb and I feel like I'm just being a baby and lazy and don't want to have to work hard like the rest. Sometimes I feel like it's too late for me. I've also lost so much drive and motivation. Honestly the only things that make me happy is eating and sleeping. Which is worse cuz I'm getting fat and hating myself more due to body dismorphia.

I guess the plan is to try to graduate and try the real world. If that fails then I will ctb. I'm also terrified of having a family because I feel like I would be an awful mother not being able to function when my children need me most. And dealing with work and all the other adult things in life like insurance, taxes, mortgages and bills, yea I don't know how any of that stuff works and I'm 28.
idk I just feel like I don't belong in this world or don't deserve it. I REALLY want to be independent but I'm so scared…

Sorry for the long rant…

 

[stygal]

Lately I tried coping by socializing a lot more but realized it isn't really my thing. Though it can be helpful to find some people (who might be struggling with similar stuff) to talk to (online or irl)

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

That's metal. Do both. Also you have to grow your hair and windmill while doing it

I am actually, I always end up cucking and cutting it before it reaches death metal length but this time I'll try to hold on. Windmilling on the bench might prove difficult...

 

[Makko]

I am actually, I always end up cucking and cutting it before it reaches death metal length but this time I'll try to hold on. Windmilling on the bench might prove difficult...

@CoolGuy9 is going to windmill in his noose. We all need to embrace the death metal in our own ways

 

[CoolGuy9]

@CoolGuy9 is going to windmill in his noose. We all need to embrace the death metal in our own ways

I was so confused for a second why I got a notification on this thread as I didn't reply to it and it wasn't my thread.

Either way if you aren't headbanging to some metal in your last moments, then are you even enjoying your last moments?

 

[Sisyphus]

Most of the time I don't cope. I just take as many punches as I can before I go down. When I do cope, it's through the use of CBT, ACT, meditation, exercise, journaling, and listening to music and podcasts.

 

[motel rooms]

I was sexually abused as a boy, so I cope by fantasizing I'm able to completely control men bigger & stronger than me. How surprising. I do it every single day. I don't do anything horrible to them in my fantasies - I just feed them my cock, edge them for a long time & make them cum by fucking them up the butt. Sometimes they're straight but they always enjoy it. When I have sex with people who don't exist only in my head & on screens, I also have to control them, but they're usually my size & always gay/bi, of course.

 

[littlelungs]

I spend most of my time just trying to get through the day in one piece. I sleep as much as I possibly can. Other than that, I eat, stare at the ceiling because sometimes the burning in my muscles is so bad I can't move, fantasize about the day I'll finally be free from this agony, and dick around on my phone. I used to knit and crochet as a temporary "escape", but now I can't even seem to manage to lay in my bed with a ball of yarn and make knots over and over again for a few minutes. Just basic survival is a full-time job.

 

[Huntfish34]

Alcohol , weed, and various other substances help me to cope with daily life. And also music, can't forget that.

 

[This_sux ✓]

I made a totally new religion with god. It answers all my questions I kept asking for years and I keep it for myself, because otherwise people would say I'm some psycho. People know me as an atheist and I'm fine with it.

 

[whywere]

Lots of music. Green tea. Sanctioned Suicide. WOW! Never thought about it, I am really boring! Walter

 

[everydayiloveyou]

So I'm currently in school for computer science. I used to be civil engineering only because my dad made me do it when I was younger. Unfortunately I cannot change my major anymore. I changed too many times. I've been in college for 10 years now. And even if I could change it Idek what it would be.. my mom is a doctor and my aunts and uncles are architects and engineers and computer scientists. I'm Asian so I feel so much pressure all the time. Even though my parents now understand that there's more jobs out there than just those I still have this learned behavior that I'm supposed to do something great but I don't think I'm good enough to. Not only that because I self loathe so much and have low confidence and self esteem I can't see myself doing any other job besides those. (No offense to others).

I'm terrified of living the "real world" and I don't think I can handle it. I'm super privileged and more well off than others. I don't have to worry about money or working or physical sickness. Because of this I feel like I tend to focus on inner things. I feel pathetic because I feel like I make up everything in my head because there is nothing else to worry about. I feel like I'm a spoiled brat. All I want is instant gratification and I hate myself for it. It's hard to grow up because my mother over cares for me too much because of my condition therefore I never have to work. Until soon. Once i graduate. IF I graduate. I almost finished civil engineering but ended up in the psych ward instead because I was prepping for suicide.

I was always known as the cry baby of the family. I deal with depression and anxiety, borderline personality disorder, adhd, body dismorphia, and recently diagnosed as bipolar. Sometimes I don't believe I am bipolar but the psychiatrist seems pretty sure…
I've gone to therapy many times but it never sticks. The problem is controlling my spirals at the moment. I know what I'm supposed to do but I can't control my emotions sometimes. That's why I plan to do more extensive therapy like DBT. My brain has been so negative, self loathing, and low confidence for so long. How could I not hate myself? Look how selfish and pathetic I am? I feel like I don't have a valid enough reason to ctb and I feel like I'm just being a baby and lazy and don't want to have to work hard like the rest. Sometimes I feel like it's too late for me. I've also lost so much drive and motivation. Honestly the only things that make me happy is eating and sleeping. Which is worse cuz I'm getting fat and hating myself more due to body dismorphia.

I guess the plan is to try to graduate and try the real world. If that fails then I will ctb. I'm also terrified of having a family because I feel like I would be an awful mother not being able to function when my children need me most. And dealing with work and all the other adult things in life like insurance, taxes, mortgages and bills, yea I don't know how any of that stuff works and I'm 28.
idk I just feel like I don't belong in this world or don't deserve it. I REALLY want to be independent but I'm so scared…

Sorry for the long rant…

I'm a comp sci major too! how do you like it? It is a pretty tough, niche major and I can see how someone would be unsure about it. But it's very flexible and you don't have to do software engineering. I gave up my dreams of art school due to my mental illness so unfortunately I can't really relate to your situation. My family is also not privileged or Asian so the standards for me were low. But understand you are in the same position as millions of other students. Everyone gets thrown into adulthood. I've had to learn about taxes and bills on my own and trust me it's not gonna make you feel any less "immature." You'll just have different thoughts and feelings, like what if I cant pay this, what if I did this wrong, etc.

Just wondering, did your family ever describe you as lazy and a baby? Or make you feel that way in their actions? I noticed a lot of people from high-pressure and privileged families feel like you do because there's such a big pressure to perform. But then the people in their life don't do anything to help them adjust and grow. In fact they sometimes limit it purposefully, sometimes by helicopter parenting, by being straight up demeaning, or not caring at all. In the end it's not your fault and probably you've internalized their expectations of you. But it's your life, you can do what you want. And there are lots of very good, steady jobs that you can get by working your way up in a business. No degree required.

If you want to be independent you have to take the necessary steps. Sometimes it will involve failing. But if you can have a good support system outside of your parents, even if it's just a good therapist, that will help ypu feel empowered to take risks and realize that most of the daily tasks of life are not impossible or scary, even if you have more needs than the average person.

It's really good that you're holding out at least and giving it your best shot. I hope things can start looking up for you with the different therapy and a change in pace once you graduate. But whatever happens you have people who will listen to you on here without judgement. If you can let it out that might be all you need when you're feeling shitty. I'm sending peace your way ♡

 

[Makko]

I REALLY want to be independent but I'm so scared…

I've made the journey and it was totally worth it. The "adult" things are actually pretty trivial to learn, they're not made for geniuses. Enduring a life under someone's thumb is a lot more difficult than doing your own laundry and filling out your taxes. I'm also Asian so I know what you're going through.