Scarecrow
Member
- Oct 2, 2020
- 13
I'm so scared that if I survive, everyone will pity me, avoid me or just laugh at me
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Yeah I think extensively researching and planning is the only thing that will put my mind at ease once I finally decide I'm ready to do it. I've never actually attempted before so I want to be as prepared as possible.@voidman I think many people could agree with you like me for example. What if I survive? It's easier to ctb when you don't consider failing but ignoring this possibility is dumb so you have to consider it.
Same feelings. I'm more afraid of failing and having to deal with the consequences than actually dying.
assuming no one outside of the 2 people in my support group (and my internet friends that know anyway because i met them all on a suicide site) not much would happen. the 2 people already internally panic daily and they both know that a psych ward will only make everything worse for me because of the way i am (basically i have a lot of anxiety and i dont take kindly to being forced to do something). i guess thats just me though. ive noticed im kinda different from most suicidal people so i wouldnt listen to me too much.
yeah i know.....its just i see things as "it could have been worse" but even that aside.....ive never "attempted" (i was going to jump off a bridge on night but someone found me while i was going over the what ifs) and people here talk about having no friends and getting treated poorly by people. i just assume its the way i present myself. i can stand there talking to someone i just met and say "im suicidal" without a second thought (legit did this in the grocery store one day to a complete stranger)there's nothing up with being different. everyone's circumstances will be different, no matter how alike they may seem.