Discussion Making a fool of yourself just to have friends

[slobaspeed1]

Hellp everyone
Recenlty i have been doing a lot of looking back and realised that i never had a best friend that also thought i was his/hers best friend.I was always the backup one.
I was in a couple of friend circles and i was always,by far the most useless member.My opinion meant the least and i was never really asked anything.I was an npc.
literally.I developed a coping mechanism for this by always being a clown and making a fool of myself to make others laugh so they think its worth keeping me around.But this just resulted in more sadness because nobody really took me seruious and when i was not making a fool of myself,people just started treating me like shit again.Anyone else went down this pattern?Recenlty i have been trying to stop this but its so goddamn hard because at this point its engraved in my brain that i need to make a fool of myself and make everyone laugh or else im useless.

 

[ForsakenDial]

You are not a bad person for trying to keep people you care about in your life. But they are not your friends. Others enjoy having something to belittle in as a collective. Never forget when they laugh they are not laughing with you.

Never fight to keep people in your life. Others can see when you act for approval. You do care about them but they find your kindness and friendliness as weakness. They see your natural desire to belong as something to use against you. No one celebrates the suffering brought from being abandoned, betrayed, alone. They try to take advantage of you for your rational desire to avoid this pain.

If anyone else in that clique (what the group really is) had been the group's punching bag they would do anything to regain the approval of others. They would have done the same. It is stupid for them to see your actions as a sign of anything negative. But being stupid is what stupid people do.

If empathy is not reason enough to allow others to be treated with dignity, then the consideration of the possibility of being in the position in the future? Building a foundation of kindness and respect as a safety net for themselves? This mindset would be justified reason to improve their behavior. Regrettably, cliques do not follow reason. They revere victimization of others to solidify their position in the group and the distinction of those outside of it.

Making a fool of yourself to make others laugh is not negative thing if done in a healthy way. If you find others that laugh with you, understand what you been through, and who you are you do not need to change. The only thing you need to change are the people in your life. You can do this by finding better people to replace them.

 

[Mirrory Me]