Method Will this work?

[FreeWilly]

I've tried partial hanging once before, but I couldn't get drunk enough and I backed out too scared. I have PTSD from failed attempts so even though I've wanted to die for years, I'm scared to try again. I have never been grateful I survived, not once.

Anyway, I'm in an IOP program so if I don't show up, they'll call my stepdad and then they will likely try to get a hold of me, if they can't, I believe they call first responders.

I want someone to find me relatively quickly after death so that my dog isn't harmed. I might try to rehome her but as soon as I do that people are going to know I'm planning.

Anyway getting drunk and taking a handful of .5mg benzos with a slipknot around my neck. Will that do the trick?

I recently reconnected with family and I'm forming a bond with my mellow nephew so I need to hurry up and do this or the pain will be that much greater for him.

 

[mehdone]

Supposing that whatever one used as rope/material was strong enough, whatever the anchor point was is strong enough, and one's knot work was appropriate- and SI didn't kick in- yes, it would work.

Just trying to get drunk and drugged enough to pass out and apply pressure to the thing? No, in my experience, one would back out before what needed to happen happened. I think I must be a conscious choice, although benzos and alcohol can certainly help overcome that fear.

 

[FreeWilly]

Supposing that whatever one used as rope/material was strong enough, whatever the anchor point was is strong enough, and one's knot work was appropriate- and SI didn't kick in- yes, it would work.

Just trying to get drunk and drugged enough to pass out and apply pressure to the thing? No, in my experience, one would back out before what needed to happen happened. I think I must be a conscious choice, although benzos and alcohol can certainly help overcome that fear.

Many of my attempts have been in moments of crisis so there was no fear, just sheer desire to die. However, now that my desire to die is super consistent and not necessarily just in moments of crisis, it's harder to work up the nerve. If I stop taking my meds I might get upset enough that I can just go for it, but again, I really don't want to risk failing. I lose so much freedom everytime. At least now I think I could buy a gun if I wanted to.

 

[Timothy7dff]

At least now I think I could buy a gun if I wanted to.

There ya go. Gun > rope imo.

 

[mehdone]

Many of my attempts have been in moments of crisis so there was no fear, just sheer desire to die. However, now that my desire to die is super consistent and not necessarily just in moments of crisis, it's harder to work up the nerve. If I stop taking my meds I might get upset enough that I can just go for it, but again, I really don't want to risk failing. I lose so much freedom everytime. At least now I think I could buy a gun if I wanted to.

I can relate to this far more than I can state in words.

Personally, if I had the choice? I would go with a gun. I mean ideally, I wouldn't want to ctb at all- I'd find some magical way of getting healthy and living a happy and productive life. Short of that, I'd prefer a gun- but I would want to make sure I hit my brainstem.
I would not suggest getting off of your meds.
It sounds like your meds might be helping to keep you alive- and that is a good thing.

 

[FreeWilly]

I can relate to this far more than I can state in words.

Personally, if I had the choice? I would go with a gun. I mean ideally, I wouldn't want to ctb at all- I'd find some magical way of getting healthy and living a happy and productive life. Short of that, I'd prefer a gun- but I would want to make sure I hit my brainstem.
I would not suggest getting off of your meds.
It sounds like your meds might be helping to keep you alive- and that is a good thing.

My best friend took his life using a gun back in Feb. didn't even know he was depressed. It was all thought out in advance with notes, a will, his stuff was packed, I've thought about going to where he did it, kinda romantic in a sense.

I'll need to actually take gun classes, then buy a gun to make this work. I also wonder if it's going to be a problem that I've been hospitalized when I go to buy a gun.

Either way, I think he shot himself in the chest. But despite the fact that I'm miserable AF without him I'm kind of impressed he pulled it off without anyone having a single clue he was even in that mindset.

He might have tried to tell me, which fucking sucks, I was so wrapped up in my own depression I wouldn't have noticed.

 

[mehdone]

Don't blame yourself in any way- for a lot of us, when we finally make that decision? We hide it from *everyone*. Loved ones and friends will think we are getting better. That is just how it goes.

Shooting oneself in the chest is something I would not recommend- too much of a chance of the bullet ricocheting off of a rib and hitting a lung or whatnot instead of the heart- and that could result in a slower, painful death- or perhaps living, paralyzed because it bounced just right and lodged in one's spine. Personally, I'd go for brain stem or nothing.

 

[Ash]

He might have tried to tell me, which fucking sucks, I was so wrapped up in my own depression I wouldn't have noticed

Absolutely not your fault.