Help How do I stop sabotaging my improvement?

[paperbaghat]

I think I find any improvement uncomfortable and therefore avoid it completely. I shoot down any recommendation/help from others and any time I make a small change in my life I find a way to ruin it for myself. I can never commit to anything positive (like taking supplements, going to bed/waking up at a reasonable time, going to classes) for more than a couple of days before missing a day and giving up thereafter.
I think a part of my mind has already accepted that I will commit suicide. Why change when the outcome will be the same? Why put in the effort? I hate this defeatist mindset but I never do anything to fix it. I'm frustrated with my self to the point of tears. I am running out of time.

Does anyone have any advice on how to change self sabotaging behavior?

 

[oopsijustdie]

I think I find any improvement uncomfortable and therefore avoid it completely. I shoot down any recommendation/help from others and any time I make a small change in my life I find a way to ruin it for myself. I can never commit to anything positive (like taking supplements, going to bed/waking up at a reasonable time, going to classes) for more than a couple of days before missing a day and giving up thereafter.
I think a part of my mind has already accepted that I will commit suicide. Why change when the outcome will be the same? Why put in the effort? I hate this defeatist mindset but I never do anything to fix it. I'm frustrated with my self to the point of tears. I am running out of time.

Does anyone have any advice on how to change self sabotaging behavior?

Who is telling you to improve yourself...if you are comfortable and confident about yourself... their is no need for improvement... until you realise it by yourself...not from other...yes sometimes experience human can help you to lead to right path...but if you like to take the wrong path go for it... learn yourself what is good for you or bad for you...

If you do not have money problem just eat your favourite food spend time with your loves ones...have sex or pleasure yourself any positively possible way

 

[paperbaghat]

Who is telling you to improve yourself...if you are comfortable and confident about yourself... their is no need for improvement... until you realise it by yourself...not from other...yes sometimes experience human can help you to lead to right path...but if you like to take the wrong path go for it... learn yourself what is good for you or bad for you...

If you do not have money problem just eat your favourite food spend time with your loves ones...have sex or pleasure yourself any positively possible way

I want to improve since the way I live now is unfulfilling and my current lifestyle is not helping my mental state. I am in a almost constant state of stress that only compounds every time I try to escape it, I will have to face reality sooner or later. I have to either commit to living (instead of just existing) or commit suicide.

 

[oopsijustdie]

I want to improve since the way I live now is unfulfilling and my current lifestyle is not helping my mental state. I am in a almost constant state of stress that only compounds every time I try to escape it, I will have to face reality sooner or later. I have to either commit to living (instead of just existing) or commit suicide.

I completely understand...for me everything you mentioned...it is part of life...my opinion about committing live or suicide...both are same...I am committing to living because for me my life itself a suicide note and I want my suicide note be lengthy and full of rollercoaster experience