makingpeacewithit
š¾
- Jul 29, 2026
- 2
Hi all!!
I've seen quite a lot of people posting here about a lack of desire to live and, consequently, a lack of will to do things, but I was wondering if anyone could recommend or share experiences as to what helped them start doing things they didn't want to do at all? I am not sure if my explanation of this is the best, so I will give an example of two things I am struggling with doing right now: my coursework, and my hobbies. I wanted to use both examples because I feel like it shows what I mean the best, I do not have desire to do anything, even things I love, because I struggle with not wanting to live at all, so even when I try to take counselor recommended "Breaks", I don't feel better as there isn't much of anything I want to be doing. Most of the time, I end up either consuming short form content that doesn't require much thought, or simply lie down not quite sleeping but not quite awake either. This that been the case for around 5 months, where I have constantly thought, planned out, or almost gone through with CTB.
Also, I usually struggle with feeling like my "time is up" when thinking about exams and deadlines, yet simply feel panicked while not doing much, almost like a prey animal giving up :( I am currently with a therapist, but all that she tells me is that "You just have to start," over and over, which doesn't really help me as in my head the logical answer to that is: "Well, I will probably just end my life and not have to do it anyways, so why bother?" I know its a bit of a defeatist mindset, but that is a part of why I include it here, if there are any therapy methods or exercises that could maybe help restructure this. This hit pretty hard for me because prior to 5 months ago I was a very good student who was working on getting two different diplomas, and had a studying regimene where I literally woke up at 6 AM to study before school, so not even being able to start writing one word or doing one physics problem is quite jarring to me (and also really scary!! Because I have projects and exams I have to do, that I have already extended the deadlines on due to the fact I am suicidal, that I need to do to pass!)
Because this is an advice thread I figured sharing somethings that personally helped me would be nice : ) For important self maintenance such as showers, oral hygeine, or food I usually try to set them as a very basic "do this at least once today, no pressure! :)" tasks to help build up a tolerance to them. Sometimes it is very very hard to do that first step, but usually I find that even doing only one thing can be helpful and make you less pressured to do it again next time. I am quite lucky because I have a family to support me in this regard, but even when alone things such as going out once a week to get some frozen food can really help shorten the anxiety that long "to do" lists cause me.
Some other things that help me are habits I tried to keep from a couple months ago before I really fell into my illness, such as a daily skin care routine (nothing special really, cleansing gel, toner, and moisturizer) that help me feel better about myself every morning. I usually also feel better when creating a separation between my bed and my "work" even if it is not related to a job but something like cooking or washing myself, by putting on clothes and brushing my hair, as well as trying to do things like my hobbies on things like a desk or floor instead of my bed.
Anyways, I hope that this thread may have helped or at least shown anyone reading it that they are not alone!! Hugs to you all, and apologies for any mistakes as English is not my first language.
I've seen quite a lot of people posting here about a lack of desire to live and, consequently, a lack of will to do things, but I was wondering if anyone could recommend or share experiences as to what helped them start doing things they didn't want to do at all? I am not sure if my explanation of this is the best, so I will give an example of two things I am struggling with doing right now: my coursework, and my hobbies. I wanted to use both examples because I feel like it shows what I mean the best, I do not have desire to do anything, even things I love, because I struggle with not wanting to live at all, so even when I try to take counselor recommended "Breaks", I don't feel better as there isn't much of anything I want to be doing. Most of the time, I end up either consuming short form content that doesn't require much thought, or simply lie down not quite sleeping but not quite awake either. This that been the case for around 5 months, where I have constantly thought, planned out, or almost gone through with CTB.
Also, I usually struggle with feeling like my "time is up" when thinking about exams and deadlines, yet simply feel panicked while not doing much, almost like a prey animal giving up :( I am currently with a therapist, but all that she tells me is that "You just have to start," over and over, which doesn't really help me as in my head the logical answer to that is: "Well, I will probably just end my life and not have to do it anyways, so why bother?" I know its a bit of a defeatist mindset, but that is a part of why I include it here, if there are any therapy methods or exercises that could maybe help restructure this. This hit pretty hard for me because prior to 5 months ago I was a very good student who was working on getting two different diplomas, and had a studying regimene where I literally woke up at 6 AM to study before school, so not even being able to start writing one word or doing one physics problem is quite jarring to me (and also really scary!! Because I have projects and exams I have to do, that I have already extended the deadlines on due to the fact I am suicidal, that I need to do to pass!)
Because this is an advice thread I figured sharing somethings that personally helped me would be nice : ) For important self maintenance such as showers, oral hygeine, or food I usually try to set them as a very basic "do this at least once today, no pressure! :)" tasks to help build up a tolerance to them. Sometimes it is very very hard to do that first step, but usually I find that even doing only one thing can be helpful and make you less pressured to do it again next time. I am quite lucky because I have a family to support me in this regard, but even when alone things such as going out once a week to get some frozen food can really help shorten the anxiety that long "to do" lists cause me.
Some other things that help me are habits I tried to keep from a couple months ago before I really fell into my illness, such as a daily skin care routine (nothing special really, cleansing gel, toner, and moisturizer) that help me feel better about myself every morning. I usually also feel better when creating a separation between my bed and my "work" even if it is not related to a job but something like cooking or washing myself, by putting on clothes and brushing my hair, as well as trying to do things like my hobbies on things like a desk or floor instead of my bed.
Anyways, I hope that this thread may have helped or at least shown anyone reading it that they are not alone!! Hugs to you all, and apologies for any mistakes as English is not my first language.
