• ⚠️ UK Access Block Notice: Beginning July 1, 2025, this site will no longer be accessible from the United Kingdom. This is a voluntary decision made by the site's administrators. We were not forced or ordered to implement this block.

MyShadow

MyShadow

Torn between fixing and ending my life
Aug 27, 2025
354
@NellyGoes ended her life last week and we chatted right up until a day or so before she exited. Although I didn't "know" her, we chatted frequently and supported each other through things that I can't discuss in the "real world". She's not the first nor will she be the last but it still hurts nonetheless.

I'm not naive. This is a suicide forum and many people are here for support as they plan their own deaths but as a compassionate human, knowing that I could not help someone see how much they matter hurts my heart.

This post is for those we've lost. If you've lost someone here or in real life, feel free to honor them.
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: somethingisntreal, Kali_Yuga13, hell toupee and 11 others
WPack

WPack

Member
Aug 30, 2025
96
May she Rest in Peace
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: darksouls, _Gollum_, LighthouseHermit and 1 other person
ScholarOfDespair

ScholarOfDespair

Member
Sep 27, 2025
23
May she and others who have decided to go out this way rest in peace.
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: darksouls, _Gollum_, LighthouseHermit and 1 other person
T

TBONTB

Paragon
May 31, 2025
958
I didn't know her either and hope she is at peace. And my condolences to you..missing someone from this site is a unique kind of grief because it's not normalized in day to day life. Sorry for your loss.
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: darksouls, LighthouseHermit and MyShadow
MyShadow

MyShadow

Torn between fixing and ending my life
Aug 27, 2025
354
I didn't know her either and hope she is at peace. And my condolences to you..missing someone from this site is a unique kind of grief because it's not normalized in day to day life. Sorry for your loss.
I wanted NellyGoes to be at peace as well yet was hoping that her situation would improve. You are correct about grieving someone from this forum. It is indeed a unique sort of grief and difficult to accurately put into words.

I spend way too much time here and find myself reading the posts of those who are desperate and in pain. I want to reach out and offer them a solution or at least some comfort because I too feel that pain and isolation. Yet there number of members here is staggering and that number continues to grow as things get worse for humans on this planet. As much as I want to help, I know I can't and it's fucking heartbreaking.

Thank you letting me pour this out and for your support.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: somethingisntreal, hell toupee, darksouls and 3 others
LighthouseHermit

LighthouseHermit

Giver of Hugs
Sep 20, 2025
157
May she be at peace and in a better place, free from her torment 🙏
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: darksouls and _Gollum_
Upon a hanging Body

Upon a hanging Body

October will cure me
Jan 5, 2025
1,131
@Lily6759 , @evanescent_eva, and @MercenariesofMidgar .

I miss them all
 
  • Love
  • Hugs
Reactions: LighthouseHermit and MyShadow
astr4

astr4

memento mori
Mar 27, 2019
641
@ijustwishtodie and @AmericanMary

i hope they are finally at peace. no one on here deserves to suffer and i wish life wasn't so cruel.
 
  • Love
  • Hugs
Reactions: LighthouseHermit and MyShadow
MyShadow

MyShadow

Torn between fixing and ending my life
Aug 27, 2025
354
@ijustwishtodie and @AmericanMary

i hope they are finally at peace. no one on here deserves to suffer and i wish life wasn't so cruel.
I hope they found peace
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: LighthouseHermit
H

hell toupee

Student
Sep 9, 2024
180
I wanted NellyGoes to be at peace as well yet was hoping that her situation would improve. You are correct about grieving someone from this forum. It is indeed a unique sort of grief and difficult to accurately put into words.

I spend way too much time here and find myself reading the posts of those who are desperate and in pain. I want to reach out and offer them a solution or at least some comfort because I too feel that pain and isolation. Yet there number of members here is staggering and that number continues to grow as things get worse for humans on this planet. As much as I want to help, I know I can't and it's fucking heartbreaking.

Thank you letting me pour this out and for your support.
I was chatting with Nelly privately as well - right up until her final post here. She seemed to be concerned about what happens when we die quite a bit, and while I don't profess to have all of the answers, I hope she found the peace she was looking for. She was a really sweet person.

I completely understand the juxtaposition we are in - I am saddened that she is gone, but also happy that she is no longer suffering - or at least I hope so. Nitrogen was her exit plan - I just hope something didn't go terribly wrong and she is in a worse position now.

I also feel very similar to you, when I read so many people's story of pain and suffering. I feel so compelled to reach out and help, but am useless to do anything besides provide some comforting words.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: LighthouseHermit
MyShadow

MyShadow

Torn between fixing and ending my life
Aug 27, 2025
354
I was chatting with Nelly privately as well - right up until her final post here. She seemed to be concerned about what happens when we die quite a bit, and while I don't profess to have all of the answers, I hope she found the peace she was looking for. She was a really sweet person.

I completely understand the juxtaposition we are in - I am saddened that she is gone, but also happy that she is no longer suffering - or at least I hope so. Nitrogen was her exit plan - I just hope something didn't go terribly wrong and she is in a worse position now.

I also feel very similar to you, when I read so many people's story of pain and suffering. I feel so compelled to reach out and help, but am useless to do anything besides provide some comforting words.
Thank you for sharing this
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: hell toupee and LighthouseHermit

Similar threads

Upon a hanging Body
Replies
1
Views
391
Suicide Discussion
Worndown
Worndown
C
Replies
1
Views
346
Suicide Discussion
Upon a hanging Body
Upon a hanging Body
T
Replies
36
Views
2K
Suicide Discussion
hell toupee
H
V
Replies
2
Views
404
Suicide Discussion
EmptyBottle
EmptyBottle