Allisonburgers
dying
- Aug 12, 2026
- 1
When i was 13 i remember making a suicide pact with my friends, i remember how real it felt for me, i would think about suicide alot until to the end of my high school years. Then i meet my ex, at first i thought it wouldn't lead anywhere real. Then we moved in together when i was 17 and she was 18. For me being kind of an incel to dating one of the most beautiful girls i've ever seen was life changing, for months i didn't have any suicidal thoughts, the opposite actually, we planed on being together forever and i was content with life. She told me she didn't want to have children with me (this hurt a lot) i lied and said i didn't either. She'd have no problem taking my phone and going through it, one night when she was sleeping i went through her phone and saw things that ruined me. I remember the moment all of my suicidal thoughts came crashing back down on me, for the next few months we were together i didn't feel human and i started to hate myself more than ever. I started to blame myself for not committing suicide when i was younger because i knew looking for happiness was a waste of time. I guess im the one the broke off the relationship i felt i couldn't satisfy her. Its been three years. Im still in love with her, she thinks im disgusting. I am. I began having fantasies about suicide for the first time about a year ago. Ive literally masturbated thinking about it. Before i kill myself i want to hear her voice one last time.
