Have you seen others die and or commited suicide?

[Stargazer100]

There are of course videos of people dying. I've seen a few. I strongly recommand not watching any.

videos i have seen range from self recorded taking poison, hanging to secutity camera freed or bystander recording of gunshots, train collision, or jump from height.

I looked at them to try and gauge if I really want to die or if the thought scares me if it becomes too real.

Most of them seemed very shocked with themselves, struggled to try and undo what they just did but that wasn't possible anymore. When there were bystanders they were often so shocked you saw their world permanently collapse on their face.

I still don't want to continue living, but I favor the peaceful methods free of struggle and obvious harm if possible.

But with so many people here posting about methods that would end in horror I wonder, do you all not think about what happens? Are you conciously staying detached from the reality you will face later (that shock and struggle)?


Another thing I noticed, they were all severely depressed, crying or numb. None of them seemed to be rationally and emotionally ready for it. They were just in a deep mental tunnel. I don't think it needs to be that way.

 

[Leorio Paradinight]

Everyone I know who survived an attempt reports a horrifying sense of regret and fear after it's too late to back out. I'm sure there were people who stayed calm until the end, but I'm guessing they're in the minority.

For me, I gave up on the idea of a rational and peaceful passing a long time ago. I just continue onwards being passively suicidal until something pushes me to attempt. When it does, I usually don't really care as much what happens. (Though I'm still here, so obviously I care to some degree).

Living in limbo, suffering, but not enough to pull trigger is a really rough way of living and unfortunately that's where most of us find ourselves at and why we're here for so many years.

 

[ilovenewyork]

I'd highly recommend anyone to watch a video of someone using a planned method before trying it on themselves. That's partly what those videos are for. Valuable resource. See what you're getting into

 

[hmnow]

yes I have seen a few and go back from time to time for a reality check

Hanging seems to be much faster than I expected - it makes my own choice more palatable,

 

[JFED]

I've seen many completions due to the job I have (paramedic)

 

[9mmisglutenfree]

I'd highly recommend anyone to watch a video of someone using a planned method before trying it on themselves. That's partly what those videos are for. Valuable resource. See what you're getting into

i was doing this earlier. i still have the tab for 1444 open. it's gruesome but looks instantaneous

 

[ICan’tSeeTheLight]

I have seen a few videos of people dying and in some cases it can look quite scary. It's the reason why I have pretty much chosen N2O as my preferred method, as it's not to violent and easy to stop an attempt if you want to. I haven't seen anybody die from it yet, but I have used it before and it's quiet pleasant and peaceful.

 

[dime4everr]

Everyone I know who survived an attempt reports a horrifying sense of regret and fear after it's too late to back out. I'm sure there were people who stayed calm until the end, but I'm guessing they're in the minority.

For me, I gave up on the idea of a rational and peaceful passing a long time ago. I just continue onwards being passively suicidal until something pushes me to attempt. When it does, I usually don't really care as much what happens. (Though I'm still here, so obviously I care to some degree).

Living in limbo, suffering, but not enough to pull trigger is a really rough way of living and unfortunately that's where most of us find ourselves at and why we're here for so many years.

Not trying to sound insensitive but do they say why regret? If you resorted to that point and actually planned it to begin with

 

[9mmisglutenfree]

Not trying to sound insensitive but do they say why regret? If you resorted to that point and actually planned it to begin with

my layman understanding is that it has more to do with your instinctual inclination for survival than not wanting to go through with it

 

[Btkeeg]

I've seen one clip by accident and it didn't really affect me. If anything, I was envious. They didn't struggle.

A few months back I failed to CTB, but I did pass out and had no reason to believe I would fail. I can tell you that there was no panic or struggle or trying to undo anything, I just let it come peacefully and felt so much relief right before I passed out. I'm still really upset it didn't work. It takes emotional pain so intense to move me to action and that's not always present, which makes me feel even more trapped here. I don't want to live, I just struggle with executive functioning no matter what the task is. I also need to feel intense emotional pain before I can get over the guilt.

I think the issue is that the more violent methods have much higher success rates. I'd love to take a pill and fall asleep peacefully, but we live in a world that imposes its will to live on other people just because it makes people uncomfortable. That's why most folks opt for more violent methods. I regularly think about the aftermath and have been struggling to settle on a new method because of it.

 

[lostallhope85]

When I was on this forum for the first time, a few years ago, I supported someone while she took SN

 

[Stargazer100]

I've seen many completions due to the job I have (paramedic)

so what impressions did you get from them? depresses notes? body showing signs of trying go undo what they started?

How does it affect your view on suicide?