Venting Have you ever told someone about your thoughts and ended up regretting it?

[velvetmoon]

I told someone about my suicidal thoughts the other day, idk why I was feeling hopeful that he’d be able to comfort me, that maybe it would encourage me to feel better or get proper help but I just feel worse.
We spoke for a little bit but then I ended up getting left on read because he said he didn’t know what to say, I just feel so stupid.
Idk why I look to people who don’t give a damn about me for comfort, but in a way I’m also thankful because it’s kind of what’s pushed me over the edge and helped me make my decision.

 

[sadworld]

I haven't told anyone other than my therapist, my doctors and my parents. Most people can't deal with it and they just abandon you... I've seen that happen several times to others. I'm sorry Sending hugs!

 

[Symbiote]

Can't even tell my wife anything about my feelings without getting an hours long lecture on why it sucks or how I'm flawed. So I don't tell her anything or just straight out tell her "I'm fine"

 

[darksideofthebright]

I am so sorry that happened to you. Suicide will always be a bit on the heavy side of a topic to talk about. Most people just don't really have the mental capability and strength to know what to say. That's why when I found SS, I felt understood and I felt saved in a way.

News travel fast, and I told one of my friends about the situation and now it's hitting headlines in my social circle. So that's something I do regret.

Apart from that, I talk to my family and psychiatrists about it. But I avoid talking about my plan/method.

 

[MindFog]

Yeah, i regret telling my parents. My father just said that i should stop that cause we have a relative who hanged himself. My mom says more like "everyone gets depressed and you're just too weak to let it get to you". I had to reach out to other people just to get help and even when i succeeded, it's just didnt help as much i thought it will.

Even if i shout, i still feel all alone.

 

[theoldestquestion]

I told someone a little, I'm pretty sure I broke that person a little. They will forever look at me with pity, like something that is unable to help itself. So to answer your question, yes I do regret.

 

[nerve]

That kind of reaction is soul-crushing and I'm so sorry you opened your heart to someone who couldn't respect it. I know it's not the same, but if you'd like to talk about your thoughts here, the floor is always open

There aren't many people left in my life and they all know I'm suicidal, but I blab about more specific ctb stuff when I'm having panic attacks and god I just feel so silly and childish afterwards, like if I can't keep my mouth shut, maybe I really am doing this all for attention or to manipulate people.

 

[Spyware]

Telling someone about suicide is risky, even if you trust them. They can try to stop you. Some will respect your choice, but the majority won't. Wish I had someone I could tell everything, but it's better not to play with fire

 

[Symbiote]

maybe I really am doing this all for attention or to manipulate people

Nothing worse than having people close to you accuse you of manipulation or even worse abusive for even mentioning that you have suicidal feelings. It's like "hello guys, i'm giving you a sign...i really need help, but if you want to accuse me of these things, then I know I'm not wanted in your presence." How to push people over the edge by accusing them of the one thing they trying to get away from.

 

[AutoTap]

Yeh, all it did was make things sorse

 

[Jblack]

I have not told anyone. I don't trust anyone and do not want to be put in a psyche ward. Keeping it all in is difficult and at times leaves me feeling alone and hurting.

 

[NodusTollens]

Yup, 2 years ago.

I caved when talking to a counsellor & he took my stash; that was time I let anyone in about my desires. I hopelessly believed that someone cared, but everything is temporary & they were just doing their job.

 

[MindFog]

I caved when talking to a counsellor & he took my stash; that was time I let anyone in about my desires.

I'm sorry you had to experience that. Mine to told me to pray it off. There should really be a higher standard on hiring student counsellors or better yet training. They can be so out of touch with the students considering the increasing suicide rates. I cant help but feel a negative bias against them.

 

[RepressedMind]

Actually quite the opposite, I told my friend that I wanted him to kill me, while I was having a mental breakdown. He then invited me over and we grabbed some kfc and talked things over. It's thanks to him that I ended up feeling better.

 

[waterstrider]

I‘ve made remarks about wanting to ctb but more in a sarcastic kind of way.
So far nobody has picked up on it.
I‘m anyway known as the strange/quiet girl so they most likely don’t bother about my (in their eyes) weird ways of looking at things.
I‘ve also never been to a therapist before. Heard some horror stories about it and decided it’s best to keep it all in my head.

 

[RedRed]

I accidentally blurted out my intention to ctb in a not so direct way due to intense sadness and frustration that day to my older sister and father. I guess they misunderstood because they both laughed. My sister though, her laughter had this...malicious tone I just didn't understand why. That moment just haunted me. Very confusing.

 

[Deleted member 23374]

Yes, i told my friend, she admitted to having the same thought. It bothers me and i don't know why.
I think it's looking at myself as dirt it makes sense but she's a genuinely good person.
Not that that means anything i guess but =/

 

[Delia]

back when i was in highschool i told a guy, that i knew for a fact was an asshole but that i still thought was worth my trust, that i was suicidal, literally five seconds later i shit you not he parrots whatever i told him on the topic to my group of friends, creating an instant moment of awkwardness. I hope he drowns in a cold lake.

 

[NodusTollens]

I'm sorry you had to experience that. Mine to told me to pray it off. There should really be a higher standard on hiring student counsellors or better yet training. They can be so out touched with the students considering the increasing suicide rates. I cant help but feel a negative bias against them.

Aah, the ol’ “go pray,” thought they might’ve retired that line by now. (Parent said that to me as a teen) Given how devastating it was to hear for me, I can only imagine to some degree how that must’ve felt for you. To me it felt like a trapped door had opened up & I was tumbling through hopelessness.

I feel the biggest issue stems from understanding, bc most people don’t understand suicidal ideation or how/why someone could just take their lives. I don’t believe their hearts are in the wrong place, they are just wildly misinformed. That & probably under strict guidelines due to school liability.

Peers or mentors would be a better fit; usually having experienced XYZ mental health concern or substance themselves, they are more on your level than trying to fix you. More so an empathetic ear if that what you’re looking for.

 

[xLosthopex]

I’ve told many people, and I haven’t really regretted it per se, but now I tend to just avoid it because I get pissed off hearing the same old crap responses, eg: “things will get better”, “just think positive”, “start a new hobby” etc.
I wish people would just listen without giving shitty unsolicited advice in return

 

[Isadeth]

Yup. When I told my old psych doctor that I wanted off seroquel because, while it was fantastic for sleep, it increased my suicidal ideation horribly. She didn't adjust my dose. Instead she told me to go inpatient willingly or she was gonna call the cops. While inpatient they increased my dose from 300mg/day to 900mg/day. It was awful. I finally had to say I was fine to leave and get off of it by myself. I promptly found a new doctor and now I don't take the psych medications they prescribe. I'm trying to find alternative medicine. Because why not?

 

[Lost in a Dream]

Pretty much every time I have said anything, I have regretted it. The worst one was the time that I ended up hospitalized for it. Thankfully I went to one of the good ones, so it wasn't a horrible experience for me at all. I even left that place thinking that maybe things really would get better, but that changed completely once the bill for it ended up in collections. Now those bastards are threatening me with "alternative methods" of collection.

I also have been prescribed different meds, but none of them helped at all. Non-medical people that I have opened up to about it give me the same pro-life BS that we hear from most other people.

 

[Conker]

Yup. When I told my old psych doctor that I wanted off seroquel because, while it was fantastic for sleep, it increased my suicidal ideation horribly. She didn't adjust my dose. Instead she told me to go inpatient willingly or she was gonna call the cops. While inpatient they increased my dose from 300mg/day to 900mg/day. It was awful. I finally had to say I was fine to leave and get off of it by myself. I promptly found a new doctor and now I don't take the psych medications they prescribe. I'm trying to find alternative medicine. Because why not?

Doctors and psychiatrists are the biggest idols in this world. They're evil cowards and don't truly care about any human being as you've now realized. There are some Docs who are worthy of respect, although most are just heartless goblins that are trained in sorcery.

 

[angelfeather]

I can’t and won’t tell anyone close to me; it’s the only thing I can control atm. I would not be in control if they knew and would immediately regret it...

 

[JustABunchOfAtoms]

I don't tell anyone anymore than I want to ctb because I fear they will tell the ward and keep me here longer

 

[GravityUtilizer]

Every weekend, drunk, on Facebook.

 

[Life_and_Death]

i told my friend. theres nothing he doesnt know, well at least he knows everything my brain allows me to share. do i regret it....yes but its my own fault.

i told my ex and he blurted it to everyone, should have known then that he was going to be untrustworthy of anything but oh well. anyway thats how the friend originally found out. but these past few years ive been sharing everything and now i really regret it. i have so much anxiety that he knows so much that i feel like he can look into my eyes at my soul, peering a lot deeper then anyone has......to be able to always see me broken like that....i just cant. i destroyed everything by sharing, and all he ever did was care

 

[ovaltinee99]

I told someone about my suicidal thoughts the other day, idk why I was feeling hopeful that he’d be able to comfort me, that maybe it would encourage me to feel better or get proper help but I just feel worse.
We spoke for a little bit but then I ended up getting left on read because he said he didn’t know what to say, I just feel so stupid.
Idk why I look to people who don’t give a damn about me for comfort, but in a way I’m also thankful because it’s kind of what’s pushed me over the edge and helped me make my decision.

I’m sorry about your experience. The average person is not trained to handle such a heavy topic. Suicide is still very much taboo. Your friend not knowing what to say doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. You were both in difficult situations. It’s possible he was worried anything he says would sound wrong. Men are not always trained to be in touch with their vulnerable side.

 

[Ardesevent]

I regret telling my dad. He seems to think I’m going to kill myself whenever he leaves the house for 5 minutes now. Someone his age shouldn’t have to deal with that stress.

 

[Deleted member 1768]

I told someone about my suicidal thoughts the other day, idk why I was feeling hopeful that he’d be able to comfort me, that maybe it would encourage me to feel better or get proper help but I just feel worse.
We spoke for a little bit but then I ended up getting left on read because he said he didn’t know what to say, I just feel so stupid.
Idk why I look to people who don’t give a damn about me for comfort, but in a way I’m also thankful because it’s kind of what’s pushed me over the edge and helped me make my decision.

Seems to me that talking to a suicidal person is a bit like walking blind through a mine field. Anything said, or not said, can be a trigger for the thought becoming reality. Sorry hon. but your conclusion is a prime example of what I am talking about. The more an individual cares, the greater the difficulty. I would not want to be responsible for saying/doing something that would cause death in another. Would you? Hugs.