Help how do i actually reach out for help?

[iknowwhatyouredoing]

there are people in my life, who i can easily reach out to, who care, but i can never find the words. how can i explain what im going through? what can anyone do to even help?

ive called a few hotlines before and they can kinda help me in the moment but i usually end up in the same place a few weeks later. there was one time i told my friend, i was on a bender and we were sitting outside, i turned to him and told him i think im going to die. he proceeded to cry and i ended up comforting him instead (lol), but afterwards i feel like he coddled me and i hate that. it just felt like lip service because he now feels responsible for my life because he was the person i decided to tell. and i know he was trying to do the right thing, and he was only doing it because he cared about me, but it made no change in my state. right now i want to talk to someone, and talk about how i tried to hang myself with my belt today or when i choked myself out yesterday, but it also seems pointless. i guess this post is becoming more of a rant so i wont go on for much longer.

anyway how do yall approach talking to people in your life about suicide? who do you trust enough to tell?

 

[Ch4in3dcr0w]

As much as i wish i had a good advice from experience but i was always hiding my feelings and what i was going through. Dont overthink too much on what to say or how to say it just chose the person u feel like going to for venting and vent your hearth out to them. I dont know what u are looking for while talking to them but generally no one can give a good advice and the only one that can help you is yourself, others can only support you on your own journey towards recovery. Its not pointless to look for people who u can pour your heart out venting is important whatever it might be small things like something upsetting you at school/work or more complex things like u are going through. Just chose the person who u feel most comfortable to talking and explain what u are going through in your words and what u yourself understand u are going through there is no need to sugarcoat anything. Dont overthink it too much. Much love and good luck

 

[Isolated Parasite]

The "criteria" people need to meet before I talk to them about suicide is that they won't freak out and call a hospital or the police or something, and that they don't get overwhelmed I guess. Similar to what you said, about the friend turning it into something about them in a way even if they didn't mean to, I need the person I'm talking to also not do that IMMEDIATELY in the sense of "think of how it would effect me!" But if the person talks about how they also battle with suicidal thoughts or whatever, I'm more than open to talk about how I feel and how they feel, it's extremely hard for me to find that level of understanding usually and it's a godsend when it does happen.

BASICALLY, what I'm trying to say is the person has to be understanding or at least non-judgemental and trusting to a degree in order for me to want or be able to talk about suicidal stuff. In my own day to day, I only talk to my therapist and people online about this stuff because everyone else in my life either doesn't understand or judges and doesn't trust, typically all 3.

But that is just me, if you need or want to reach out when things get rough, reach out to someone.

EDIT: I know that talking about this stuff effects the people you talk to, I only don't talk to those people about it because it makes them and me feel worse, not in an ENTIRELY selfish way, I kinda painted my message that way.

 

[5_5]

i'd talk to someone i'm really close to. if not it'd just be really awkward
it has to be someone you know can actually distract you from your thoughts, give you advice, maybe even lead you if you're feeling lost, someone that can actually help. i haven't spoken about it to anyone, but if i did it would probably be one of my closest friends

good luck with that

 

[EchoWanderer77]

reach out to a professional instead

 

[iknowwhatyouredoing]

reach out to a professional instead

maybe i would if i wasnt dirt poor lol

 

[EchoWanderer77]

maybe i would if i wasnt dirt poor lol

at least in my country you get go to the psych hospital for free. And you get care afterwards for free. Since you're actively suicidal, you can admit yourself to the psych hospital. even if it isnt free and you go in dept, you have nothing to lose as your life is on the line right now.

 

[plan c]

u shouldn't judge yourself for his lack of to properly care for ur mental situation.

... and i really could relate to how out of touch u feel after reaching out for help in desperation and receiving some "trivial" advices (a.k.a. "you should look on the bright side, ..."). i think that must have planted many negative association between "calling for help" and "being somehow ignored". yet i suppose u should never consider urself as "ranting" for the act of reaching out. it's sth that alone takes true bravery to do.

I'm frustrated by the fact that it depends on more than just a will to show love/care to actually come up with an educated response to a mental distress (yes. let's be frank im struggling about this whilst I'm writing this post.) Tho the professional would have a better average on this but in the end it depends on u to decide how u work with a therapist/friend.

whilst Im trying to be a listener here, i don't always come up with a best response but i think i have some room mentally for smone to say "you're being out of touch" or anything. and im gonna reflect on anything that makes me somehow sound patronizing or pushing. it's so good to see u around

 

[iknowwhatyouredoing]

u shouldn't judge yourself for his lack of to properly care for ur mental situation.

... and i really could relate to how out of touch u feel after reaching out for help in desperation and receiving some "trivial" advices (a.k.a. "you should look on the bright side, ..."). i think that must have planted many negative association between "calling for help" and "being somehow ignored". yet i suppose u should never consider urself as "ranting" for the act of reaching out. it's sth that alone takes true bravery to do.

I'm frustrated by the fact that it depends on more than just a will to show love/care to actually come up with an educated response to a mental distress (yes. let's be frank im struggling about this whilst I'm writing this post.) Tho the professional would have a better average on this but in the end it depends on u to decide how u work with a therapist/friend.

whilst Im trying to be a listener here, i don't always come up with a best response but i think i have some room mentally for smone to say "you're being out of touch" or anything. and im gonna reflect on anything that makes me somehow sound patronizing or pushing. it's so good to see u around

off topic but love the isaac reference lol

 

[enjoytheride]

maybe i would if i wasnt dirt poor lol

Sorry to hear that. Access to mental health services shouldn't depend on one's financial situation.
Are there any NGOs you could reach out to, that would provide free psychological support? Even if online?

Don't forget that no matter what, you are a human being with inherent worth and you don't need to achieve anything others see as important, or to prove anything to anyone, as to be deserving of your own and others' respect. We often forget this or don't fully grasp it.

Kind regards!

 

[thaelyana]

Honestly… I never talk about it.
The only time I did was back when I was 15, in 9th grade. I told someone, and they got scared. They told their mom, and then I got sent to the school psychologist. It was awful. Since then, I've just kept quiet.

Sometimes I try talking about it with older people — like friends in their late twenties. But even though I'm only 18, they don't really take it seriously. They just say, "Don't do that," and then move on like nothing happened. So, I don't talk to anyone about it.

Sometimes I mention it to my boyfriend, but he's so scared something will happen to me… Poor guy. Even when we walk down the street, he makes me walk on the inside of the sidewalk — just in case I try to jump. It really hurt to hear that, honestly. I'd never do that. I don't even know where he got that idea. But yeah, he's the only one I talk to.

Still, I believe in healing. And I truly believe that you'll find someone too. Someone who loves you, but is strong enough not to pity you or look down on you. Someone who'll really listen — maybe give you advice, maybe comfort you — not just throw out a quick "Oh no… you'll be fine" like it fixes everything.

Maybe start slowly? Like saying: "Hey… I haven't been feeling too great lately," instead of going straight to "Hey, I want to die" — because, yeah, that can scare people, even if you don't mean to.

Sending you strength.

maybe i would if i wasnt dirt poor lol

In France, students are entitled to one free therapy session per month. It's not amazing — there's not much long-term follow-up — but it can be a good first step.

There's also something here called Planning Familial (Family Planning), and there's probably something similar in your country. In France, it's originally a place to talk about sexuality, contraception, abortion, etc., but there are also psychologists there, and they're usually really kind and understanding. It's anonymous, free or very cheap. You can go without an appointment, ask any questions you want, and even give a fake name if you prefer to stay private — they don't care, they're just there to help.

There are also some associations or social services that offer psychological support, even when you have no money. Sometimes the hardest part is just knowing where to look and finding the strength to take that first step. Don't hesitate to ask in places like your town hall, a community center, a hospital — or even a general doctor.

I'm sorry I don't know the infrastructure in your country, so I can't give you more specific advice… but I hope this helps a little.

Sorry if the text is not understandable, I translated it with Google.

 

[plan c]

off topic but love the isaac reference lol

thx lol. @iknowwhatyouredoing tbh i dunno how to answer that. frankly none of the reaching-outs ever worked for me. Friends: Requires too much agent plus im quite off-sync socially; Family: can't expect too much, plus sometimes THEY could be the PROBLEMS :(. and Therapists: simply TOO EXPENSIVE. I wanna convey the message that i didn't ignore ur feelings nontheless. It's what my therapist used to do to me when they didn't know how to solve my problem. i don't know your condition financially/socially or how much u would still trust a family and a therapist. like, maybe u don't have a family around u, but i cannot make that assumption. btw, it's good to find another fellow tboi fan.

 

[iknowwhatyouredoing]

thx lol. @iknowwhatyouredoing tbh i dunno how to answer that. frankly none of the reaching-outs ever worked for me. Friends: Requires too much agent plus im quite off-sync socially; Family: can't expect too much, plus sometimes THEY could be the PROBLEMS :(. and Therapists: simply TOO EXPENSIVE. I wanna convey the message that i didn't ignore ur feelings nontheless. It's what my therapist used to do to me when they didn't know how to solve my problem. i don't know your condition financially/socially or how much u would still trust a family and a therapist. like, maybe u don't have a family around u, but i cannot make that assumption. btw, it's good to find another fellow tboi fan.

i dont live anywhere near family and i cant afford a therapist anymore because no insurance. i miss being in therapy it honestly helped a lot

 

[xiaoxiongmao]

My best friend understands me from a philosophical point of view.

But the problem is that when I'm at crisis point the only person I wanna be with to calm down is my ex. However he is extremely anti-suicide and can be easily overwhelmed by this—my depression and SI were what drove him away.

So i never knew how to ask for his presence nicely… (now we have no contact anyway)

 

[SchizoGymnast]

First, make sure you are willing to receive it.