Venting Have you ever told someone about your thoughts and ended up regretting it?

[Marble]

its always a risk you risk being detained, being abandoned, misunderstood and all the rest but you never know depends what you are hoping for you might get it, its a risk

 

[Øystein]

Telling my long term partner was probably the worst things I could have done to them apart from allowing myself to get into a relationship in the first place. Whenever we fight now, they bring it up. It's painful for both sides.

 

[WOODESITY]

Once I moved in in New place for living, and I got along with my housemate, then we drank little bit and smoked, then I became very social and told about my thoughts about how I don't care about my life and wanted to kill myself, he started attacking me, telling me how dare I think that my life is worthless, called me stupid and ignorant, since that day I'm very careful to what I share, even with my only friend who I've left

 

[Deleted member 1768]

Telling my long term partner was probably the worst things I could have done to them apart from allowing myself to get into a relationship in the first place. Whenever we fight now, they bring it up. It's painful for both sides.

I am sorry hon. That is very hard.

 

[Neowise]

This is tricky to answer for me. I'll keep the story short:

Some guy I know from an online game accidentally learned about me having depression and having considered killing myself, he doesn't know details though and probably thinks it was just a phase. After he found out he proceeded to PM me every day for a while, not sure why. Probably to make sure I won't do it. We talked a lot, kinda became online friends, then decided to meet irl, became irl friends and now we want to go out on a date after the lockdown. It's the best possible outcome that wouldn't have happened if he never found out about my dark side.

But do I regret it? I think I do.
I hate it when people know about my feelings and thoughts. Like someone said above people look at you "with pity". He doesn't exactly do that, but he tells me that I'm intelligent and should work on my self-esteem etc. He probably does that because he knows I'm depressed.
He sees the person that I am, and not the person that I want him to see. I can't help it but it's kinda bothering me.

Not sure if I would go back in time and avoid giving away hints to save my inner personality in trade for our friendship and the date.

I have also told 1 rl friend some info and 1 person I know online, but they are both depressed themselves so I don't regret it. I generally don't talk about myself and only open up to very special people I know I can trust.

 

[ineverlearn]

There aren't many people left in my life and they all know I'm suicidal, but I blab about more specific ctb stuff when I'm having panic attacks and god I just feel so silly and childish afterwards, like if I can't keep my mouth shut, maybe I really am doing this all for attention or to manipulate people.

This is the reason I can't get myself to tell anyone. I think I'll end up feeling stupid afterwords. I recently alluded to it to my cousin and she responded by telling me that I'm acting like a "petulant child". In her defense I was going on about how I would rather be dead than go on with things being the way it are.

I especially dare not tell those who have direct influence to my circumstances, then I know it'll be taken as a means for attention or manipulation. Then things will just be worse and I'll be that much closer.

I often think, "those that really want to go just do it. If you're talking about it, then you really don't." Not that I necessarily believe it, but it is clearly a personal reflection, as I am talking about it (this is my first post), to justify my own actions and thoughts. Reading through the various posts and replies on SS, I find comfort in the openness and understanding. Don't know yet if that makes me closer to following through or to hold out longer.

 

[Meditation guide]

I guess they misunderstood because they both laughed.

If you said what you did before, it was pretty funny.

 

[_Kaira_]

I regret telling anyone I'm involved with now.
They don't care if I go through with it as long as it isn't in their house. Which is fair enough.
But if they know I am attempting they'd still try to stop me, that's the only issue.

 

[Miss_Takes]

I answer honestly if asked. Responses have varied. Crisis teams have been called but in NZ unless you have a gun to your head or knife to your throat they dont have the resources for anything but follow up phone calls.
I worked in MH and Addictions so many friends are in the field. Some tell me to 'snap out of it' and I worry what level of emp athy they show clients. Im not one for panicking when someone expresses suicidal ideation dismissing anyone as being 'overly dramatic and attention seeking' is both unkind and disrespectful AND dangerous.
When people react I usually tell them to start worrying when I STOP talking about it.
I understand its difficult for people to just listen without needing to react or fix for their own peace of mind though.
It makes me sad to know that we have a huge campaign in my country to talk about MH issues but when someone does there really isnt the support available that people need. MH services everywhere are overworked and underfunded and often staffed by inexperienced or burnt out clinicians.

*jumps off soapbox*

 

[Josh007]

I asked my family for help several times and always regretted it. Their responses, always an abusive cycle of stigma and bullying. At least now I don't take bullshit.

 

[Donk]

Told my wife couple of times. She'll start balling then proceed to call my father. So now I pretend I'm not suicidal but only depress.

 

[RedRed]

If you said what you did before, it was pretty funny.

Oh my God ahahah! This made me laugh! Nooo I didn't omg. Even if I said smth a bit similar, they wouldn't understand lol.

 

[Mr blobby]

I've told a few family members. no one gives a toss. But you know they'll start caring all of a sudden, when the deed is done.

This is the problem. They only start caring when it's too late

 

[kappa]

I have an online friend and we are both really close, nothing we talk about is off limits. I could say the most fucked up shit and he wouldn't get overly worried.

In person I don't talk about anything personal. Like my family estrangement always comes up eventually- but I keep it at that, just yeah I don't talk to them. Really don't even ever talk about depression. At the most if mental health is talked about I might joke about being either having no feelings or anger.

I actively try to be pretty private about any kind of trouble no matter how small, try to not complain and I still will get that someone "is worried about me" occasionally. I don't get it.

 

[DeathBySuicide]

Yes, I have. I had a group of friends who I could constantly talk to about my suicidal thoughts, but one day, two of them admitted that they were overwhelmed by my rants. I still feel insanely guilty for overwhelming them, and I wish I had never talked to them at all. They also admitted that they were skeptical about whether I was lying about my suicidal thoughts, and ngl, I was hurt quite a bit. After that, I barely talk to any of those people anymore. I formed a romantic relationship with one of them and he's the only person I talk to now about my suicidal thoughts, but other than him, I hide it from everyone. I wish I had never talked to anyone besides him about my suicidal thoughts. Sometimes, I even wish I had never talked to him. He can get really worried about me sometimes, and I hate that on top of his own struggles he has to worry about me CTBing.

Telling my long term partner was probably the worst things I could have done to them apart from allowing myself to get into a relationship in the first place. Whenever we fight now, they bring it up. It's painful for both sides.

I'm so sorry that happened to you! I really hope things get better for you soon. Is it possible for you to talk to your partner about not bringing it up and being more supportive?

Once I moved in in New place for living, and I got along with my housemate, then we drank little bit and smoked, then I became very social and told about my thoughts about how I don't care about my life and wanted to kill myself, he started attacking me, telling me how dare I think that my life is worthless, called me stupid and ignorant, since that day I'm very careful to what I share, even with my only friend who I've left

I'm sorry about that. You should talk to your housemate about how he's affected you, and make him understand the struggles you're going through.

 

[Mentalmick]

My mother was severely ill and the day before she died I told her exactly how much I hate my life and the world hoping she would feel the same way. I was going to use one of my father's guns to kill us both. But she didn't feel the same and that crushed me. I ended up explaining it away as panic talk.

 

[daddy Phil :)]

Yes, I told my friends about it and the reason I regret it so much is because I feel like I am taking them down with me. They want to help me but they know they just can't and I know that they get sad because of that. I feel like I have to keep these things to myself instead of making my friends worried and sad. I asked one of my friends if I am making her sad and if it's better if I keep it for myself and she said that it only makes her worry about me and that she doesn't know what to say to help me. I don't know what to do anymore I feel better talking about it with my friends but I can't bring them down because of me, I feel stupid rn.

 

[Conker]

I've told a few family members. no one gives a toss. But you know they'll start caring all of a sudden, when the deed is done.

This is the problem. They only start caring when it's too late

is that actually care? or are they pretending to care just to maintain the façade of being a decent human.

 

[Mr blobby]

is that actually care? or are they pretending to care just to maintain the façade of being a decent human.

Good point. To be honest, i don't think my family are bad people as such (most of them anyway). I think they've just been caught up in what we call life and are dealing with things that they feel are more imperative.

I guess it's one of those situations where they won't really know how bad the situation is until it happens.

 

[Xdyzine]

Yes, probably once or twice to the love of my life but she just shrugged it off with those typical motivational speeches and mainly because I don't appear to be suicidal to people( I assume all of us don't ), I give hints to my brothers but the result is the same as her's. I eventually stopped talking to all of them.

 

[Meditation guide]

Have you ever told someone about your thoughts and ended up regretting it?​

That happens at least once a week for me. It happens half the time right on this forum.

 

[ceelestial]

Yup, 2 years ago.

I caved when talking to a counsellor & he took my stash; that was time I let anyone in about my desires. I hopelessly believed that someone cared, but everything is temporary & they were just doing their job.

your stash being?

Told my wife couple of times. She'll start balling then proceed to call my father. So now I pretend I'm not suicidal but only depress.

Typical narcissistic woman, make it all about her immediately.

 

[IAmExhausted]

Never told anyone specifically or in detail. Well, since my last attempt it was obvious how I was thinking. A couple of friends then went apart. I dealt with that.

But this was all years ago. I'm feeling ashamed and guilty to talk with my parents or close friends about my current thoughts. The least I want to do is bother anyone or make them feel shocked. Or get their lifes infected with my negativity. But I can't hide it all.

 

[SweetTangerine]

my boyfriend.

now he always interrogates me to see if im okay, but i guess i do the same thing to make sure he's at least not suicidal. i appreciate the care but sometimes i just want to wallow in my worthlessness and cry

 

[Pururin]

Yep, but the only responses I got were "you need to eat better", "go outside", etc. All ignoring the problems, telling me to shut up, no one wants to hear it. So I've given up on talking about it, just let it gather and grow like mould. I'm already completely isolated irl, probably will be soon online, then I can rest. Bet they'll be *surprised pikachu* even though I have outright stated it in the past. You just can't trust anyone, or expect people who are 'close' to you to help you or care.

 

[Pupu]

Seems to me that talking to a suicidal person is a bit like walking blind through a mine field. Anything said, or not said, can be a trigger for the thought becoming reality. Sorry hon. but your conclusion is a prime example of what I am talking about. The more an individual cares, the greater the difficulty. I would not want to be responsible for saying/doing something that would cause death in another. Would you? Hugs.

This is what I think. This is why I regret. There is not big changes something good will come with sharing about your wish to die. Good people try their best but they're indeed blindly trying to avoid mines. They get hurted, and you get hurted by not receiving what you wished for from them.

Other situations are when people say they're sorry but wait a moment when you two have arguments. Suddenly that person has no faults anymore, whatever happens between you two it is always because "you're mental".

 

[Shahanshah]

I have told someone once that I like to watch BDSM , S&M hardcore type sex and he tells everyone else.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

I've told a few people in the past and regretted it immediately every single time. They don't provide any real help or advice and will often distance themselves from you afterwards. Besides this website I keep all of those feelings to myself now.

 

[Catzini1951]

Oh yeah. More than once.

 

[Deleted member 24006]

Yep - cost me a $200k/yr job and 30-year career - everyone shunned me too. It also makes it hard to get life insurance, another job, and many other things you might need. Go ahead, "get help", but be prepared to wear the scarlet letter they give you for the rest of your life.