takuyangel
[ communist daughter ]
- Feb 19, 2025
- 98
My roommates told me last week that they no longer want to live with me. They said they don't feel safe around me. Because I do too many illegal drugs, always talk about trying to get my hands on a gun, and other behaviors that exhibit a disregard of my own safety. So there that goes. We were a group of friends who moved out after high school, they basically took me in after my last friend group (7+ years) cut ties with me. There MIGHT be a pattern here lol. How do you tell someone who's calling you crazy for having no regard for your life that you think they're crazy for being obsessively attached to keeping it?
Anyway, my ex's are doing good, in relationships, getting out and having fun while I get to loathe myself all day and be a loser. I'm pretty sure I used to have interests and character quirks. That I could talk to people and enjoy my time out. I've forgotten it all by now. For the longest I was my only friend if none else. But I'm just a stranger in the same skin. With memories that aren't mine. I guess that's been the loneliest part of it.
Eventually, I'll get to turn 21 later this year. I'll be able to buy a gun and do what I've been dreaming about for over three years. I'll be important I guess for a little, maybe a month or two. People are gonna pretend like they care, but they really won't. And I can eventually fade. The thought of everyone I'd had sex with forgetting my face in 15 years. It just seems fitting now. I don't really get sad about things anymore. I've given life way too long of a chance. The person I grew up as died three years ago. And this world's shown me very clearly that there's no such thing as ghosts.
Anyway, my ex's are doing good, in relationships, getting out and having fun while I get to loathe myself all day and be a loser. I'm pretty sure I used to have interests and character quirks. That I could talk to people and enjoy my time out. I've forgotten it all by now. For the longest I was my only friend if none else. But I'm just a stranger in the same skin. With memories that aren't mine. I guess that's been the loneliest part of it.
Eventually, I'll get to turn 21 later this year. I'll be able to buy a gun and do what I've been dreaming about for over three years. I'll be important I guess for a little, maybe a month or two. People are gonna pretend like they care, but they really won't. And I can eventually fade. The thought of everyone I'd had sex with forgetting my face in 15 years. It just seems fitting now. I don't really get sad about things anymore. I've given life way too long of a chance. The person I grew up as died three years ago. And this world's shown me very clearly that there's no such thing as ghosts.
Last edited:
