🤍goodbye🤍

[callen]

i never spoke to you but i would see your posts and replies all the time when i browsed the site. you helped so many people here. i wish you the best, and hope you find peace <3

 

[absolutelyyou]

I will be holding space for you in my heart, Lra. I am so sad to see you go, you seem like such an incredible person and the world will be a little less bright without you in it but your peace and rest is more important. No matter what I wish for you to find and know peace, friend.

 

[Leavesfromthevine]

I'm definitely going to miss you dearly! Although we didn't talk for long I've enjoyed your company in the little time we have talked. You've made the last bit of time so much better and I'm forever grateful for getting to know you.
I hope everything goes great and hopefully we'll meet again in another life

 

[baabbaabbaab]

Your avatar coming up in a thread was always a sign of joyful kindness.

I wish you peaceful last moments.

Farewell.

 

[Aim]

Adios! <3 I hope your transition will be a peaceful and a pleasent one! See you on the other side! <3

 

[Raindancer]

You were one of the first people I spoke with when I started to post and I very much appreciated our conversations and your kindness. You have a gift of making people feel heard. I wish you many things but most of all i wish you peace. You will be missed.

 

[absolutelyyou]

Whats your favorite color? I have so many candles and I'd like to keep one lit for you so that I can be reminded to send you peaceful energy and help light up the way out of this dark world if you do end up going through with your plans.

 

[hi-okbye]

Shit, this one's hard. Love you friend, the forums a better place with you around. I'll carry you on in my memory.

If you can't do it, we are here for you. Catching the bus isn't easy, and we understand that well, so be kind to yourself.

Sorry if this is too pro life, it's usually why I don't message goodbye threads, but I can't help but want to see you off in this way.

dont worry it's not at all. as time inches closer I've been wondering if I'll chicken out of it, but I feel myself getting calmer too somehow. this feeling of peace, not much but enough to notice.

I appreciate knowing people will be here if I can't do it <3

your words are so kind thank you friend <333

I am sorry to hear about your circumstances, they are difficult things to deal with. but the benzos in the SN regimen are not for anxiety. It is because it is painful.


edit, i just noticed you have no AE too. I strongly advise against the attempt at this time -- it is either not going to be successful and you will have long term health issues, or it will be remarkably uncomfortable and painful way to go. as a harm reductionist, I tell everyone it's never too late to catch the bus, and it's better to not have a botched attempt that makes life worse.

no matter what I probably won't be able to get either, so it's somewhat pointless to wait. I think I have a little Xanax, I'll see if I can find it.
trust me when I say, I know myself, I know my body. I've had OD's before, all of which I was able to keep down for the most part. even when I threw up once I was able to swallow it back down.
I appreciate your concern though.

I will be holding space for you in my heart, Lra. I am so sad to see you go, you seem like such an incredible person and the world will be a little less bright without you in it but your peace and rest is more important. No matter what I wish for you to find and know peace, friend.

thank you your words are almost overwhelming <333

I'm definitely going to miss you dearly! Although we didn't talk for long I've enjoyed your company in the little time we have talked. You've made the last bit of time so much better and I'm forever grateful for getting to know you.
I hope everything goes great and hopefully we'll meet again in another life

thank you friend I've really enjoyed the conversations we've had. I will be thinking of you <3333

Your avatar coming up in a thread was always a sign of joyful kindness.

I wish you peaceful last moments.

Farewell.

it's so sweet to know people see me like that, thank you <33

Whats your favorite color? I have so many candles and I'd like to keep one lit for you so that I can be reminded to send you peaceful energy and help light up the way out of this dark world if you do end up going through with your plans.

that's so sweet thank you <33
my favorite color is sage green, it's even the color of my room. if you don't have that one then purple is my next :)



every single one of you have filled up my heart with so much love. It's a wonderful gift to know I've have such an impact on all of you. I'm sorry to make you so sad with my departure but I hope you understand <3

 

[Deleted member 65988]

no matter what I probably won't be able to get either, so it's somewhat pointless to wait. I think I have a little Xanax, I'll see if I can find it.
trust me when I say, I know myself, I know my body. I've had OD's before, all of which I was able to keep down for the most part. even when I threw up once I was able to swallow it back down.
I appreciate your concern though.

Yeah, rather unfortunate you can't get them but you know yourself best and how ready you are. Use whatever benzos you can, yes people have ctb without them but I see them as really beneficial than not. Overall, you seem set on your decision and I wish you all the best with this.

 

[SmollMushroom]

Good luck with your attempt, I really hope everything goes as smoothly as possible and I hope you find some xanax too before doing it!

 

[absolutelyyou]

We have the same favorite color! I for sure have a candle to send you light and peace in whatever form you might need

 

[huphup]

I've seen your posts before and found them very helpful. I am wishing you all the best in your journey and hope you find peace without pain. Thank you for everything you've done for this community :)

 

[hi-okbye]

per some requests and also because why not:


final drawing I did today:

don't know if I regret the black outline or not. it'll be taped into my sketchbook.

playlist of favorite songs (still in progress of shortening it and will be until I'm gone):

it's only a sample of 100 songs because it's all Spotify will allow, if you click on the title it'll show the whole thing though

 

[Deleted member 65988]

per some requests and also because why not:


final drawing I did today:
View attachment 125810
don't know if I regret the black outline or not. it'll be taped into my sketchbook.

playlist of favorite songs (still in progress of shortening it and will be until I'm gone):

it's only a sample of 100 songs because it's all Spotify will allow, if you click on the title it'll show the whole thing though

That drawing is beautiful. I can't say anything more than that.

 

[Aim]

per some requests and also because why not:


final drawing I did today:
View attachment 125810
don't know if I regret the black outline or not. it'll be taped into my sketchbook.

playlist of favorite songs (still in progress of shortening it and will be until I'm gone):

it's only a sample of 100 songs because it's all Spotify will allow, if you click on the title it'll show the whole thing though

good job and a great drawing!

 

[missliketheletter]

per some requests and also because why not:


final drawing I did today:
View attachment 125810
don't know if I regret the black outline or not. it'll be taped into my sketchbook.

playlist of favorite songs (still in progress of shortening it and will be until I'm gone):

it's only a sample of 100 songs because it's all Spotify will allow, if you click on the title it'll show the whole thing though

this little update really hit home for me. we have a lot of songs we both like. looking through made me smile. i'm not sure how much you drew, but we have that in common too. your blending is great in this, and i gotta say colored pencil on chipboard is always the way to go. i hope everything goes well, in every way that means for you. you seem like a great person, and i absolutely relate to your reasons behind CTB. maybe it sounds selfish, but im glad i got to see this before we're both gone

 

[hi-okbye]

this little update really hit home for me. we have a lot of songs we both like. looking through made me smile. i'm not sure how much you drew, but we have that in common too. your blending is great in this, and i gotta say colored pencil on chipboard is always the way to go. i hope everything goes well, in every way that means for you. you seem like a great person, and i absolutely relate to your reasons behind CTB. maybe it sounds selfish, but im glad i got to see this before we're both gone

that's so cool we have a lot of favorite songs! may I ask which one is your favorite?

thanks so much I tried lol, I would've done more but I only had a few hours only today to work with. and in agree, it's from a gray sketchbook I got a while back so I could use white more, I love it.

it's really intresting how alike people can be. I don't think it's selfish though, I was considering making that post or not and now I'm glad I did :)
you seem like a cool person too, maybe we'll get to meet each other sometime

 

[FadingFast2023]

Well considering how hard it is to get script for Benzos, I'm sure that's why.

Not hard at all, available on the web without a script from any place that sells "research chemicals". Bromazolam is a good one.

 

[Alatus_Nemeseos]

I'm pretty new to the site lurked only a little, just want to say you seem really nice and I'll be thinking of you. I'm sorry to hear you lost your partner and that you feel like you failed as an adult. But Given the replies said here though I'd like to highlight that you clearly left an impression on the people here and I think that counts as something. You're not a failure Hi-okbye but I empathize why you feel that way

 

[dreamingofrest]

per some requests and also because why not:


final drawing I did today:
View attachment 125810
don't know if I regret the black outline or not. it'll be taped into my sketchbook.

playlist of favorite songs (still in progress of shortening it and will be until I'm gone):

it's only a sample of 100 songs because it's all Spotify will allow, if you click on the title it'll show the whole thing though

Wow, that drawing is absolutely beautiful! That takes a lot of talent to do.

 

[Tears in Rain]

Our paths never crossed, but in any thread I saw you post you were kind and helpful towards people. I wish you peace!

 

[Unknown21]

Not hard at all, available on the web without a script from any place that sells "research chemicals". Bromazolam is a good one.

Is it the same as alprazolam?

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Is it the same as alprazolam?

No, Benzos are different in how efficient they are. Alprazolam has a faster onset and is strong benzo like Lorazepam and Clonazepam

 

[Unknown21]

No, Benzos are different in how efficient they are. Alprazolam has a faster onset and is strong benzo like Lorazepam and Clonazepam

I really wish benzos were easier to obtain.

 

[Ksmиda]

Goodbye, good luck

 

[hi-okbye]

I'm pretty new to the site lurked only a little, just want to say you seem really nice and I'll be thinking of you. I'm sorry to hear you lost your partner and that you feel like you failed as an adult. But Given the replies said here though I'd like to highlight that you clearly left an impression on the people here and I think that counts as something. You're not a failure Hi-okbye but I empathize why you feel that way

your words are so sweet thank you <33


right now I'm cleaning my room listening to my playlist fixing it up a bit. after that I'll try to take a shower and play a game with my family.

8 hours to go. feels like I woke up a few minutes ago. I hate how fast time goes.

 

[Alatus_Nemeseos]

Also as i continued down the thread I would really like to highlight how much I loved your drawing <3

 

[FadingFast2023]

Is it the same as alprazolam?

Yes, they are chemically very similar and have near identical onset and duration times.

https://tripsit.me/factsheets/Alprazolam

https://tripsit.me/factsheets/bromazolam

 

[hi-okbye]

I mean, you obviously can do whatever but you can't control what happens when you lose consciousness. Just be aware there is a high chance of failure and with that may come consequences. I thought my OD was going to be successful since what I took was lethal, and I vomited a TON when I was unconscious.

that's intresting thank you, I'll keep that in my mind. it's just this is the best shot I've got so far so I guess it's the one I'll take. wouldn't you be less likely to vomit SN when your unconscious compared to other medications because you've already absorbed it? obviously not all of it but still. I know there's a chance but I'm honestly willing to risk it.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

wouldn't you be less likely to vomit SN when your unconscious compared to other medications because you've already absorbed it?

Well, that would be the case if you've absorbed enough but there have been people who've vomited a lot and not ctb but still went unconscious only to wake up hours later, it comes down to how much you manage to keep down for the first few mins after ingestion the 1st time. It's been a point of contention and opinion on this forum for a while, whether vomiting will primarily lead to failure but I think it's more so not following the protocol but having the right meds can play a part in that. @GoodPersonEffed made a good thread about vomiting in relation to failure from SN.

PROOF! - VOMITING HAS *NOT* BEEN REPORTED ON THE FORUM AS A CAUSE OF SN FAILURE

I have been through every account of failed SN attempts. Vomiting has never been reported as a cause of SN failure. There are only two accounts that could conceivably have been due to vomiting: @Silasruin on 4/25/20, took 75% of 60g SN in 150 ml water, reported rapid onset vomiting and also...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Although @nozomu is right here, you just don't know how you'll react to sn and having AEs might help however its understandable if you can't get them due to the difficulty of obtaining a script like @lopsidedcrawdad1 said earlier on this thread. After all, I wish you all the best since you seem be set on your decision.