Goodbye thread

[OminousVaL]

Smooth travels.

 

[I want to end it]

23:55 mixing SN (25g/50ml weight: 90kg; 2 glasses) Position is a comfy chair
23:57 drank first glass in a second; taste was salty but remained calm
23:58 lit up a cigarette
23:59 feels it in throat, still able to walk (went to the sink to rinse and came back)
00:00 threw up, seems a bit in distress, threw up multiple times
Prince offers to sing, he's able to respond, Prince sings a nice lullaby
00:01 seems to be in distress, constant vomiting
00:02 says "sick", went to grab a cloth, returned abruptly with cloth, vomiting again
00:03 "my hands are tingling"
00:04 almost vomited but was able to hold it back, "my heart is beating fast"
Can communicate but obviously seems sick
00:05 "it's tingling now" "uncomfortable but doesn't hurt"
00:06 "I'm very restless"
00:07 starts shaking a bit, not able to communicate but can move his hands and head
00:08 convulsing (a bit violently for a few seconds), saliva/vomit shot out of his mouth, headphone fell off but was able to put it back to his ears - his last confirmed voluntary movement
00:09 light shaking, tries to move head
00:10 makes strange sounds but not able to speak
00:11 a few heavy convulsions but still in position, headphone on, saliva shot out again
00:11 makes sounds again, seems like he tries to speak but can't
00:12 not much movement, occasionally straightens up then falls back to chair
00:13 sounds continue
00:14 possibly unconscious (it could have happened sooner than this time)
00:15 visibly more blue now and pale
00:16 snorts continuously, might be the so called "death rattle"
00:17-20 situation is the same as above
00:19 one straightening up, and one louder sound, like a grasp for air
00:21 sounds are becoming less frequent, there are some random involuntary movements but not much (mostly mouth opening)
00:22 almost ceased movements
00:24 little sound and movement
00:25 getting near; still in the chair, mouth and eyes are open, he's obviously not there
00:26 no more sounds, sometimes moves a little bit
00:28 no more movements

conclusion: hard to watch someone die but seems relatively peaceful, just as expected; threw up a lot at the beginning, at the time of the convulsions he did not seem to realize what was happening, he did not drink the second glass

Thanks for this. It's unclear if he was able to feel anything from 00:07 to 0:26. That's the bit I'm always confused about.

 

[cyan]

Peace and love to you, xander. May your journey be smooth sailing, off to the sunset.

 

[x~Sophia~x]

Thanks for this. It's unclear if he was able to feel anything from 00:07 to 0:26. That's the bit I'm always confused about.

It is what it is, and as peaceful as you can expect, bearing in mind you'd be ingesting POISON! Death within 30 minutes, and fairly peaceful in comparison to other methods I've read about.

 

[I want to end it]

It is what it is, and as peaceful as you can expect, bearing in mind you'd be ingesting POISON! Death within 30 minutes, and fairly peaceful in comparison to other methods I've read about.

Yes it is. Although it is always unclear at what point the person goes unconscious and stops feeling anything.

 

[x~Sophia~x]

Yes it is. Although it is always unclear at what point the person goes unconscious and stops feeling anything.

Maybe it's not the method for you then.

 

[I want to end it]

Maybe it's not the method for you then.

There isn't a better method, apart from n. So it has to be sn.

 

[x~Sophia~x]

There isn't a better method, apart from n. So it has to be sn.

OK, but I don't think SN is for you either, unless you can get your head around the fact that there is no pain/anxiety free method to ctb.

 

[Imtiredofeverything]

I knew you from discord, even though we didn't talk much...I wish I was here earlier. I hope you are at peace now the way you wanted and you will be missed. Farewell and hugs..:)

 

[Lilacmoon]

I love you. Please rest easy. Please be happy. Please be at peace. Please. We all love you. :(

 

[yetme]

You're welcome, I hope it will help a lot of people to understand this method better.

Convulsing is completely normal, and the trying to say something part can't be confirmed as a voluntary movement. He might have been almost completely out of it.
This is poisoning, so it's obvious that you'll be sick.

I consider trying to say something as being conscious. If you ever had nightmares where you tried to move, but couldn't then that's it.
Same happened to Mooncide as I recall. She was trying to say something at the end

 

[AJ95]

I consider trying to say something as being conscious. If you ever had nightmares where you tried to move, but couldn't then that's it.
Same happened to Mooncide as I recall. She was trying to say something at the end

I think it was more similar to talking in your sleep, he was definitely not lucid or aware of what was going on.

At best he was semi-conscious and delirious, I'm 100% sure he wasn't panicking or feeling anything, his brain was hypoxic by that stage and he would've been quite faint.

 

[Meditation guide]

seems like he tries to speak but can't

What was he doing that looked like he was trying to talk? Was he mouthing words and looking at the cam?

 

[Lilacmoon]

What was he doing that looked like he was trying to talk?

um, i think he was like leaned back in his chair, head back, eyes closed, trying to make noises but vague indistinct sounds were coming out?

 

[BlackCatTalk]

My sweety, 4 candles were lit for you today, I hope to see you soon in the universe and this is one of my favorite songs that I had the pleasure of you listening to, so I may as well share it with you...
I'm taking a ride off to one side
It is a personal thing
Where?
When I can't stand
Up in this cage I'm not regretting
I don't need a better thing
I'd settle for less
It's another thing for me
I just have to wander through this world
Alone
Stop before you fall
Into the hole that I have dug here
Rest even as you
Are starting to feel the way I used to
I don't need a better thing
(Just to sound confused)
Don't talk about everyone
I am not amused by you
I'm gonna lose you
Yeah I'm gonna lose you
If I'm gonna lose you
I'm gonna lose you,
Yeah I'm gonna lose you
If I'm gonna lose you Xander...
I'll lose you now for good
I'll see you soon.

 

[MiseryLovesMyCompany]

um, i think he was like leaned back in his chair, head back, eyes closed, trying to make noises but vague indistinct sounds were coming out?

addition to the quote: his eyes were open but not completely, like, around halfway (?) (that was the case for the most part), mouth moved slightly, similarly to talking

 

[Meditation guide]

um, i think he was like leaned back in his chair, head back, eyes closed, trying to make noises but vague indistinct sounds were coming out?

He was probably losing consciousness when he did that. They are often typing something incoherent as they lose consciousness.

 

[Umbrellaterm]

Yes it is. Although it is always unclear at what point the person goes unconscious and stops feeling anything.

Crush a large amount of propranolol in the SN mix or 30 minutes before suggested by some sources and you'll lose consciousness much quicker.

Op supposedly fasted for 24hrs. I'm not sure but I think I've read somewhere that fasting too long is counterproductive.
It had something to do with the gastric juices. Don't quote me on that though.

 

[Silenos]

Don't forget to haunt me!

Hey brother, could you not find my house or what's up? Perhaps I should've told you my address, idk. Hope to seen you soon.

And if not, I'll see you at the mead hall in Valhalla.

 

[GravityUtilizer]

Hope he's found peace. Read like it was fairly loud?

 

[mahakaliSS_MahaDurga]

Is it just me? ...but that read does not sound peaceful to me.... i wish him a good ride on the rainbow... RIP...

It sounds terrifying, he was conscious for 13 minutes and seems to have been in distress.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

It sounds terrifying, he was conscious for 13 minutes and seems to have been in distress.

This sounded awfull...my heart goes out to him and the people who witnessed..

 

[NA90]

hope you found what you were looking for. You're not suffering anymore now in this cruel world.

 

[Hollydeathripper]

Going to miss you

Glad I'll be able to support you over discord <3

Whats discord

 

[NA90]

It sounds terrifying, he was conscious for 13 minutes and seems to have been in distress.

And apparently passed away with eyes and mouth open. Not sure I want my parents to see that. That's such a tough decision I have to make. Why isn't there such a more peaceful method. I have my sn. And every time I look at it it scares me.

 

[WrongGuy]

Peace.

 

[NA90]

I think the best is to do it at a hotel. That's what I need to do soon. I can't do that at home.

 

[MiseryLovesMyCompany]

Hope he's found peace. Read like it was fairly loud?

There were a few louder sounds. Definitely wouldn't recommend it in a room with thin walls.

 

[degeneratewaste]

Hope he's found peace. Read like it was fairly loud?

yes, definitely were some moderate to loud sounds. upon watching, would not recommend this method unless you are completely alone and won't be heard, as the sounds would definitely notify someone in the same household.

I think the best is to do it at a hotel. That's what I need to do soon. I can't do that at home.

yes, especially if there will be anyone else around I would not recommend it, you will get caught.

 

[Meditation guide]

definitely were some moderate to loud sounds.

Sounds of gasping, or vomiting? Groaning?

And it's the first time I've heard of anyone projectile vomiting, fluid shooting out of the mouth. The poor man.