Goodbye thread

[Symbiote]

Don't know you, but feel that we have something in common which is death. Farewell and safe travels my friend!

 

[Lilacmoon]

Sounds of gasping, or vomiting? Groaning?

vomiting was loud. the struggling to breathe was moderate loud, like, cloggy gasping. if i remember correctly.

 

[degeneratewaste]

Sounds of gasping, or vomiting? Groaning?

the vomiting obviously was one. where @MiseryLovesMyCompany said "sounds like he was trying to speak but couldn't" - that, I would personally describe as murmuring/groaning, which lasted a while, however this could be blamed on positioning etc. as he was laid back in his chair. final breaths were choky gasping, also. the loudest part would have been the vomiting and groaning. would not recommend in a family home, that's for sure.

 

[Meditation guide]

vomiting was loud. the struggling to breathe was moderate loud, like, cloggy gasping. if i remember correctly.

After seeing this would you do it yourself? It sounds bad.

Some have an easy time of it and then others are more distressed. I wish I knew what the difference was, was it a difference in meds they took or what.... some go unconscious with a small amount of vomiting in under ten minutes.

 

[Lilacmoon]

After seeing this would you do it yourself? It sounds bad.

the discomfort is better than any other available method. and being able to listen to people you care about sounds like a good exit. he had a good way out, it was what he wanted.

 

[degeneratewaste]

After seeing this would you do it yourself? It sounds bad.

for me, I think I still would. it's disturbing to see, yes, but he was clearly unconscious or at the very least, at a low level of consciousness for the whole time the disturbing things happened. he wouldn't have been in any pain or discomfort. this, for me, seems like it would be the most peaceful and easiest out of most methods. certainly better and more reliable than other accessible poisons or ingestables.

 

[Deleted member 14177]

This was a lot. I agree with above about needing to be alone. However, also agree with the above that there is rarely a way to ctb without some kind of discomfort. I feel it is inevitably a "pick your discomfort". Keeping in mind he mentioned no pain. He was very likely unconscious/delirious during what would have been the most distressing moments to witness. But dying isn't glamorous.

 

[Meditation guide]

I'm not sure it's safe to do it in a motel in case you are making these kinds of loud noises others might hear.
You may not make loud sounds, but if it's loud groans and death rattles it might be heard in the next room, or a hallway.
I can't picture it, wish I could have seen him.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

yes, definitely were some moderate to loud sounds. upon watching, would not recommend this method unless you are completely alone and won't be heard, as the sounds would definitely notify someone in the same household.

yes, especially if there will be anyone else around I would not recommend it, you will get caught.

massive agree, after watching that I would never recommend doing it with anyone near you, they will know for sure

 

[MiseryLovesMyCompany]

After seeing this would you do it yourself? It sounds bad.

Personally, I would. One of his last sentences was that it is uncomfortable but does not hurt, after violently vomiting and seemingly being in distress. It is just like being really ill probably. It is better and more reliable than a lot of methods, can be done basically any time. For me, it has more advantages than disadvantages. Obviously if I could get my hands on N or a drug that I could OD on I would go with that.
I really like that its effects are reversible and can't cause permanent damage. I know I would feel pretty shitty in my final moments, but they don't seem that bad. Speaking with @AJ95 during the process was reassuring as well. She has gone through SN poisoning once so she could give a better insight at how @Stubbe experienced it.

 

[Meditation guide]

they will know for sure

Do you think if you were in a hotel room the ones in the room next door could hear it? I get the impression it varies so much how people react to it.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

Do you think if you were in a hotel room the ones in the room next door could hear it? I get the impression it varies so much how people react to it.

perhaps, kinda hard to say in that situation. The noises aren't so alarming that anyone hearing them in any context is going to call for assistance, so a hotel seems feasible as a place to take sn.

 

[Lilacmoon]

Do you think if you were in a hotel room the ones in the room next door could hear it? I get the impression it varies so much how people react to it.

the vomiting might be mistaken for drunk vomiting. convulsions could be nightly fun time. nothing out of the ordinary in a hotel.

 

[whywere]

Wishing you a very safe and peaceful journey. All the love in this world and the next to you!!! Walter

 

[degeneratewaste]

Do you think if you were in a hotel room the ones in the room next door could hear it? I get the impression it varies so much how people react to it.

depends. I think they have the potential to hear it, but like you say, it varies with other people, how they react, on positioning of the dying, etc.

if the hotel room is large enough it could be safe. also vomiting itself isn't inherently a warning sign, some people in hotels get drunk etc etc. but if the groaning is too loud someone could get alerted.

if someone is attempting SN in a hotel room I would recommend lying on their side which I believe would at least muffle some of the sounds. I think if you have people next door there is some chance you could end up getting found, but people generally do try to mind their own business also. hard to say with all the variations in reports, yes; but I think there is a chance that someone could hear you and report.

 

[Meditation guide]

the vomiting might be mistaken for drunk vomiting. convulsions could be nightly fun time. nothing out of the ordinary in a hotel.

I know me and would possibly be yelling. I would need to rent a house. Thank you all for answering my numerous questions, much appreciated.

 

[All washed up]

Personally I'd be very surprised if another guest reported anything unless any noise continued for a long time and caused disruption to their sleep.
If the hotel is very small and you are staying very near reception it's possible hotel staff may disturb you but this wouldn't happen in a decent sized hotel with decent quality rooms and I would imagine anybody planning to ctb is not going to be to bothered about paying a little extra to ensure a decent room in these circumstances.
Especially as all decent hotels take credit cards so if ctb is successful it doesn't matter about the bill and if it's unsuccessful the bill can be paid later.

 

[Umbrellaterm]

Can someone who saw this event explain to us in other words about the groaning part.
I really don't understand it,

 

[StuFin]

What do you expect to happen? You roll over after drinking it, then like in one of those Disney movies the cartoon bunnies and unicorns appear out of the walls and you dance off with them into the sunset?

Either you want to go, or you don't.

10 minutes of discomfort isn't much to finally shuffle off this mortal coil and leave the pain and suffering behind forever, is it?

If that 5 to 10 minutes of discomfort is worse than staying alive then you shouldn't be here.

Should you?

 

[Mellowmood]

Can someone who saw this event explain to us in other words about the groaning part.
I really don't understand it,

RTFM

 

[degeneratewaste]

Can someone who saw this event explain to us in other words about the groaning part.
I really don't understand it,

just read the logs and comments. I am not going to repeat any more.

 

[Silenos]

Can someone who saw this event explain to us in other words about the groaning part.
I really don't understand it,

Groaning
adjective
Denoting a deep inarticulate sound conveying pain, despair, pleasure, etc.
"he made groaning sounds and took laboured breaths"

 

[BLUE1970]

Can someone who saw this event explain to us in other words about the groaning part.
I really don't understand it,

I've seen many people die from various ailments during employment at a care home, the human body makes all sorts of movements and sounds whilst dying, it doesn't mean the individual is in pain or conscious of what is going on. Most of the time they are not.

 

[sadworld]

Dying is never comfortable, no matter which method we choose. Minimising the discomfort is the most important part.

 

[Meditation guide]

Dying is never comfortable, no matter which method we choose. Minimising the discomfort is the most important part.

it's pretty comfortable on certain drugs, N, F, or heroin for example.

 

[Symbiote]

Do you think if you were in a hotel room the ones in the room next door could hear it? I get the impression it varies so much how people react to it.

I doubt people wouldn't care though. People in the hotel rooms won't bother ya, may brush it off as you snoring, having sex, or drunk. Just turn the TV up, and all is dandy.

 

[JustABunchOfAtoms]

What is this discord?

 

[Silenos]

What is this discord?

There is no discord.

 

[degeneratewaste]

What is this discord?

it was a private discord call.

 

[Nimbus]

Hey, so it's just about my time.

Most of you here probably don't know me as I haven't been very active on the forums, and instead opted to use discord and the likes.

My method is SN, and I'm doing the 48 hour regimen. I've been taking meto since yesterday and will end up fasting for close to 24 hours (though that may be overkill).


My time will arrive at 2400 GMT+1

Best of luck to all you guys

Maybe someone will be posting logs, but I'm not sure

Sincerely
xander

23:55 mixing SN (25g/50ml weight: 90kg; 2 glasses) Position is a comfy chair
23:57 drank first glass in a second; taste was salty but remained calm
23:58 lit up a cigarette
23:59 feels it in throat, still able to walk (went to the sink to rinse and came back)
00:00 threw up, seems a bit in distress, threw up multiple times
Prince offers to sing, he's able to respond, Prince sings a nice lullaby
00:01 seems to be in distress, constant vomiting
00:02 says "sick", went to grab a cloth, returned abruptly with cloth, vomiting again
00:03 "my hands are tingling"
00:04 almost vomited but was able to hold it back, "my heart is beating fast"
Can communicate but obviously seems sick
00:05 "it's tingling now" "uncomfortable but doesn't hurt"
00:06 "I'm very restless"
00:07 starts shaking a bit, not able to communicate but can move his hands and head
00:08 convulsing (a bit violently for a few seconds), saliva/vomit shot out of his mouth, headphone fell off but was able to put it back to his ears - his last confirmed voluntary movement
00:09 light shaking, tries to move head
00:10 makes strange sounds but not able to speak
00:11 a few heavy convulsions but still in position, headphone on, saliva shot out again
00:11 makes sounds again, seems like he tries to speak but can't
00:12 not much movement, occasionally straightens up then falls back to chair
00:13 sounds continue
00:14 possibly unconscious (it could have happened sooner than this time)
00:15 visibly more blue now and pale
00:16 snorts continuously, might be the so called "death rattle"
00:17-20 situation is the same as above
00:19 one straightening up, and one louder sound, like a grasp for air
00:21 sounds are becoming less frequent, there are some random involuntary movements but not much (mostly mouth opening)
00:22 almost ceased movements
00:24 little sound and movement
00:25 getting near; still in the chair, mouth and eyes are open, he's obviously not there
00:26 no more sounds, sometimes moves a little bit
00:28 no more movements

conclusion: hard to watch someone die but seems relatively peaceful, just as expected; threw up a lot at the beginning, at the time of the convulsions he did not seem to realize what was happening, he did not drink the second glass

Thank you for sharing this. Especially for those of us considering SN. Very helpful. I'm sure it was hard to watch. I hope he's at peace now.

This was a lot. I agree with above about needing to be alone. However, also agree with the above that there is rarely a way to ctb without some kind of discomfort. I feel it is inevitably a "pick your discomfort". Keeping in mind he mentioned no pain. He was very likely unconscious/delirious during what would have been the most distressing moments to witness. But dying isn't glamorous.

"Dying isn't glamorous." Truth.