goodbye thread - today 10:00 pm (UTC +2)

[PJFord]

Dani, I will miss you and our chats. We will continue when I join you soon in the Great Beyond. Say hi to FallOutCarter and other SS CTBers.

For those on the livestream, thank you for documenting his departure. I have a question about the convulsions. Were they intense and noise making, such that nearby neighbors would hear? Or just lighter shaking in place? Just curious how much those of us using SN need to be mindful of noise. Thank you.

 

[AlreadyGone]

I hope you found peace

 

[Deleted member 19654]

Does anyone know the reasons he had for ctb? I never had the chance to ask him myself.

There's a little "about me" section on his profile

 

[Mimi79]

Dani ... tears a falling, we're friends since a few month, we have wrote so much messages, i feel so close to you. It hurts me that you're not here anymore.
But you deserve the peace so much
I love you Dani, a piece of you will stay in my heart.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

He was very kind and did a lot for this community. I talked to him during these last months. A huge loss. This hurts but this is what he wanted. He's at peace now and free from his suffering.

 

[Meditation guide]

I just read what he wrote about himself. He had truly a sad life it sounds like. He was so likable too. I'm sure he is finally happy now where he is. It has to be much better for him.

 

[Mimi79]

I just read what he wrote about himself. He had truly a sad life it sounds like. He was so likable too. I'm sure he is finally happy now where he is. It has to be much better for him.

He had ...ive signed in here yesterday because of him.
My language is German...

 

[sadworld]

So you could watch for another 20 or 30 minutes, that's good, to make sure I mean. Maybe the battery died. Kind of odd it would turn off by itself.

I'm not quite sure on that but i think i turned his life stream offline (I'm not his observer) but i had control of his account.

 

[I screwed up]

Op was very determined and brave ... He had decided on the date and time , was very calm and collected at all time. I really envy him and also pray that he is in a peaceful place now . Rip my dear friend

 

[Mimi79]

I'm not quite sure on that but i think i turned his life stream offline (I'm not his observer) but i had control of his account.

Have you seen the last pictures in there ?

 

[mahakaliSS_MahaDurga]

I hope he found peace.

 

[sadworld]

Have you seen the last pictures in there ?

I had to stop watching his stream because it was just too much for me, i felt completly empty, i don't even know how to describe the feeling i had. I didn't even know that i had control over his account, so after the observer said he stopped breathing i think i might ended the stream.

 

[inactive]

Rest in peace

 

[Mimi79]

I had to stop watching his stream because it was just too much for me, i felt completly empty, i don't even know how to describe the feeling i had. I didn't even know that i had control over his account, so after the observer said he stopped breathing i think i might ended the stream.

i feel you ...i'm still crying and can't believe that I will never read him again.
i haven't seen the stream, I was too late. I have messaged him at lunch time via telegram messenger ...
I wasn't there for him in his last minutes, that makes me sad ...

 

[Doormat]

I had to stop watching his stream because it was just too much for me, i felt completly empty, i don't even know how to describe the feeling i had. I didn't even know that i had control over his account, so after the observer said he stopped breathing i think i might ended the stream.

So many people die alone. It is so humbling that you and others are willing to be present at times like these, if only in a virtual sense. Kindness can be present even in the saddest situations.

 

[Infinite Conscious]

22:45 SN ingested
22:49 started a last smoke
22:50 starting to feel nauseaus
22:50 dizziness is setting in
22:51 puked a little into a plastic bag
22:52 fell over, no longer responsive to sound
22:53 tried to say something, body is convulsing
22:54 unconcious, shallow breathing
22:55 more convulsing, breathing is getting harder

Damn, I am still in shock.
It was all, more or less, done in 10 minutes... 25 to stop breathing.
This has changed everything I thought I knew about SN, which is not my method, but still the most popular on this site.
We all thought it was going to last longer, even he thought so, he insisted on having a German observer because he didn't trust his English (and his English was superb).
And at the end, he didn't even get to say a single word... passed out after 5 minutes, wanted to say something, but didn't get a chance.

He never liked me, he called me a pro-lifer, we had opposing opinions on almost everything and especially life after death... but I always secretly admired him.
I would always look if he was online, his presence made a difference for me.
Only now did I read his "about me" section on his profile... wow!?
I've never felt like this in my life... even when I lost family members... I feel an emptiness, I find it difficult to grasp that this is forever.
I really wish he was correct in that opinion about death and the nothingness afterwards... my beliefs are on the other side of the spectrum.
But now he knows the truth, and none of us do.

It's really unbelievable how someone can make such a huge difference in only 3+ months (July, August, September).
He was the first thing I thought about when I woke up this morning.
I hope he's in a better place now.

 

[Mimi79]

Damn, I am still in shock.
It was all, more or less, done in 10 minutes... 25 to stop breathing.
This has changed everything I thought I knew about SN, which is not my method, but still the most popular on this site.
We all thought it was going to last longer, even he thought so, he insisted on having a German observer because he didn't trust his English (and his English was superb).
And at the end, he didn't even get to say a single word... passed out after 5 minutes, wanted to say something, but didn't get a chance.
He never liked me, he called me a pro-lifer, we had opposing opinions on almost everything and especially life after death... but I always secretly admired him.
I would always look if he was online, his presence made a difference for me.
Only now did I read his "about me" section on his profile... wow!?
I've never felt like this in my life... even when I lost family members... I feel an emptiness, I find it difficult to grasp that this is forever.
I really wish he was correct in that opinion about death and the nothingness afterwards... my beliefs are on the other side of the spectrum.
But now he knows the truth, and none of us do.
It's really unbelievable how someone can make such a huge difference in only 3+ months (July, August, September).
He was the first thing I thought about when I woke up this morning.
I hope he's in a better place now.

My English isn't perfect. But I really appreciate your words ...

 

[Sherri]

Hope you found your way, wanted to be here on your final moments but fell asleep. Now I'm too late and your gone. All the best Mr Switzerland.

 

[Deleted member 19654]

Reading the live updates was pretty hard. I'm still in shock to be honest. It makes me sad that he's gone but this was what he wanted. He's finally free and at peace.

 

[Futile]

Happy to see he finally found the peace he couldn't find here

Also, sorry if I seem a bit insensitive, but I seem to understand that multiple people here saw the live stream of his death. I'm very interested to see how SN works so if there was a video of it I would appreciate

 

[sadworld]

Happy to see he finally found the peace he couldn't find here

Also, sorry if I seem a bit insensitive, but I seem to understand that multiple people here saw the live stream of his death. I'm very interested to see how SN works so if there was a video of it I would appreciate

I don't know if anyone has a recording of his live stream, I'm pretty sure his streaming account got banned. The live updates that @Trayus gave were pretty accurate. LetzteAusfahrt wanted his death to be analysed as good as possible. I'm thinking about making a separate thread for that, would need to talk to someone before that tho. He's at peace now and that's the most important thing

 

[voyager (D)]

It is an irony of fate that he has probably never had so many social contacts as on this forum. R.I.P. LetzteAusfahrt!

 

[TheQ22]

I'm still really upset about this. He seemed a really kind, genuinely helpful person who was let down by society in general.

We're doing something fundamentally wrong when good people feel they don't fit in and need to leave, permanently.

Kind, generous, helpful people should be raised above all others, not the other way round.

 

[Ghost2211]

I'm still really upset about this. He seemed a really kind, genuinely helpful person who was let down by society in general.

We're doing something fundamentally wrong when good people feel they don't fit in and need to leave, permanently.

Kind, generous, helpful people should be raised above all others, not the other way round.

I miss him as well. There are a lot of members I still think about and miss even nearly a year later. Sorry for your loss, I feel it too. I wonder how many people here don't realize how loved they are by the community, but at the same time that's often not enough to keep people going. I wish life had been better to all of us.

 

[TheQ22]

I miss him as well. There are a lot of members I still think about and miss even nearly a year later. Sorry for your loss, I feel it too. I wonder how many people here don't realize how loved they are by the community, but at the same time that's often not enough to keep people going. I wish life had been better to all of us.

The community here is great and very supportive, but it doesn't replace real world, real people in real life.

I think it sounds like Letzte had no real human contact. And sotoday I went to the pub for the first time since 2019 just to be around real people. And I hated it.

 

[TheSoundofTime]

Today the time has finally come, I have my final exam. I will finally find out whether I have learned the right thing and can actually apply it.

At least the part about being relaxed seems to fit, I'm completely relaxed and hardly think about tonight. Let's see how it develops.

I am pursuing two goals with the ctb today. Primarily, of course, that I can finally end my existence and find my place in the common, infinite "nothing". The nothing that relieves me of all agony and pain, frees me from it.

I'm looking forward to it so much. To the moment when I realize that the light is about to go out and that I will be on the last path.

For the first time in my life, I got to know the feeling of community here in the forum. A community that accepts everyone for who they are. In which everyone helps one another to find the difficult goal of peace.

For this I would like to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart, first and foremost of course the operators and moderators of the forum.

As a small thank you to dss forum, my ctb is documented by an online observer who writes for me, even if I can no longer do it myself, e.g. because I see everything blurry.

My SN regime is very simple

02:00 pm fasting starts (eating)
08:00 pm 600mg ibuprofen
08:00 pm fasting starts (drinking)
10:00 pm 25g SN in 50ml water

I have prepared 4 servings of 25g SN in 50ml water. Better safe than sorry.

And in the unlikely event that I do wake up again, I wear a noose for a tourniquet around my neck, 3 wooden sticks are ready next to me. Better safe than sorry.

I still have a few things to do and I won't have much time to write. Otherwise, there is already little time to have everything done on my appointment.

I thank everyone from the bottom of my heart who will write to me and I also wish you a pleasant and peaceful journey if you will follow my path.

Goodbye my friends, may you also find the peace you long for.

Dani

Farewell my friend. My deepest wishes . How crazy this life is.....

 

[Meditation guide]

And sotoday I went to the pub for the first time since 2019 just to be around real people. And I hated it.

I would too. This way is better.

 

[veryrandomusernameqa]

Safe travels ❤

 

[_Minsk]

i miss his presence, he has contributed so much to this community. seeing his name crossed out now makes me very sad:(
does anyone knows what brought him to ctb?
i hope you found peace my friend:/

 

[Meditation guide]

does anyone knows what brought him to ctb?

He explained it on his profile, his about me page. A long life of never having any relationships at all, or sex even, into his 50s, a lifetime of severe depression and isolation I think. Very sad. It surprised me to read it because he seemed so appealing and nice and warm. Hard to imagine such a person going through life without making any connections. He apparently made some here.