Goodbye for the last time(today or tomorrow)

[m00nl1ght]

Thinking about you. Hope you find peace

 

[Bigmike1583]

I wish you peace on your journey.

 

[Baguette]

Here we are

 

[Philosykos]

It's a beautiful spot. I wish you a safe journey, whatever you decide. We will be here if you decide it isn't your time. I'm sorry to see you go.

 

[TowerUpright]

Be at peace. If you went through with it, I hope it was quick.

Does anyone know a local website where we could check on baguette's status?

 

[DashingDavid]

Rest In Peace friend.

 

[Baguette]

I'm so disappointed in myself, I climbed the fence, got closer than I ever had on any of my practice runs but the fear of the pain stopped me even though it would last 2-3 seconds if that.

I feel even worse now and even more determined to ctb, the next chances I have are tomorrow and friday. I just need to put my head down, shut my eyes and ignore the pain.

 

[Philosykos]

It's okay, Baguette. A lot of people here have been there. If you weren't ready, you weren't ready. I'm not even talking about not ready to ctb, but ready to just take that last step. I reckon even more people here are like that. Do not push yourself if you don't feel that readiness. My PMs are always open if you'd like to talk, dear.

 

[Soul]

Most of us have had, or will have more than one "practice run". It's more than understandable and I hope you won't be too hard on the part of you that Just Said No - it was following prehistoric orders that are built into our DNA. Please relax as much as you can and do something you like. (((Hug)))

 

[MeriDeath]

Hey my friend, on one hand I'm happy you're about to free yourself from all the pain but on the other hand I'm really sorry you have to go through decapitation.. it's just terrible no matter what and so undeserving. I wish you peace wherever you might end up after that.

 

[Brokenwithbpd]

Are you still with us?

 

[Lostandfound7]

Don't be so hard on yourself..That's not an ez method...

As @Soul said, spend ur last few days doing something u enjoy..

We r here for u, Sweetie..♡♡♡

 

[MorticiasHair]

I'm so disappointed in myself, I climbed the fence, got closer than I ever had on any of my practice runs but the fear of the pain stopped me even though it would last 2-3 seconds if that.

I feel even worse now and even more determined to ctb, the next chances I have are tomorrow and friday. I just need to put my head down, shut my eyes and ignore the pain.

Dear @Baguette
You don't have to be disappointed. If it were that easy, none of us would be here. Right!?!
take your time.

 

[Brokenwithbpd]

I'm so disappointed in myself, I climbed the fence, got closer than I ever had on any of my practice runs but the fear of the pain stopped me even though it would last 2-3 seconds if that.

I feel even worse now and even more determined to ctb, the next chances I have are tomorrow and friday. I just need to put my head down, shut my eyes and ignore the pain.

It's ok to not go through with it....

 

[KUA]

What does this method involve?

 

[limpingtowardfreedom]

I'm so disappointed in myself, I climbed the fence, got closer than I ever had on any of my practice runs but the fear of the pain stopped me even though it would last 2-3 seconds if that.

I feel even worse now and even more determined to ctb, the next chances I have are tomorrow and friday. I just need to put my head down, shut my eyes and ignore the pain.

Like I said, this is no reason to be upset, only your own inner wisdom trying to tell you something. I understand how hard it is to feel like everything is going to finally be over and then it's not, though, just exhausting...

May I ask why you chose such a gruesome method in the first place?

 

[Baguette]

Are you still with us?

Yes.

What does this method involve?

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/train-megathread.38771/

First post on the train megathread.

 

[MorticiasHair]

do you have any other methods that you would consider?

 

[Baguette]

Like I said, this is no reason to be upset, only your own inner wisdom trying to tell you something. I understand how hard it is to feel like everything is going to finally be over and then it's not, though, just exhausting...

May I ask why you chose such a gruesome method in the first place?

I only chose this method as it is one of the most lethal methods outside of guns which are impossible to obtain in my country and hanging(I found it hard to tie the rope). There are also no high bridges, mountains or hills in my area.

I also found about SN on this forum a few days ago but I couldn't find any online that delivered to the UK, I also couldn't wait out the weeks it would take to come if I did manage to find some.

 

[KUA]

Yes.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/train-megathread.38771/

First post on the train megathread.

Ok that's what I thought. I think this as you said should be seconds of pain. But it would be hard to have the courage to go through with it as you would have to preset yourself. How did you even access the tracks. I am from the UK and the tracks normally go through the countryside and have fences eitherside

 

[Baguette]

do you have any other methods that you would consider?

I'm going to try again tomorrow first but if I still can't do it I'll look at other methods.

 

[KUA]

Wait I've just realised you're from Scotland. That's probably why! I'm from England

 

[Theodora]

Oh wow they say it's painless.. kings and queens go that way .. I wish for you to be at peace

 

[JoeFailure]

There's no rush, just remember that. Hoping for the best outcome too if you choose to do it.

 

[Baguette]

Ok that's what I thought. I think this as you said should be seconds of pain. But it would be hard to have the courage to go through with it as you would have to preset yourself. How did you even access the tracks. I am from the UK and the tracks normally go through the countryside and have fences eitherside

You're correct in saying it's very difficult to access the tracks, there are 8ft fences everywhere else. I managed to find this one spot where there's only a 3ft wooden fence for some reason, although you have to go through an entrance in the back end of a park through a lot of bushes and trees, it's almost as if they forget to put up proper fencing in that one spot and put it up everywhere else.

 

[Chiyuki99]

I'll be thinking of you tonight and tomorrow and praying for the best possible outcome for you. Please don't be too hard on yourself, I personally could never go through with the train method neither. Also there is no need to rush. Rest. Figure out all of your options, both options for life and options for death - we will be with you, no matter which path you choose. Bless you.

 

[Lost_the_will2_live]

I'm going to try again tomorrow first but if I still can't do it I'll look at other methods.

I have more than enough SN and I'm in Scotland, I would post to you locally but then I think I would be arrested for helping you?

please reconsider the train method. you had me in bits today, kept dreading seeing a tweet from Scot rail to say trains were delayed due to an incident.

here if you want to chat. X

 

[limpingtowardfreedom]

I'm going to try again tomorrow first but if I still can't do it I'll look at other methods.

Consider whether this is a sign. Maybe there is still something for you to do out there in the world before you leave it?

 

[MorticiasHair]

Consider whether this is a sign. Maybe there is still something for you to do out there in the world before you leave it?

I was thinking the same thing.

@Baguette
Trains run daily x times. I think before you start your journey, your head should be free. that's just the way it is, intelligent people often doubt..you don't have to be ashamed of that. write (us)about your thoughts and feelings

 

[Baguette]

Going to take a walk up to the spot today, I'll see how I feel when I get there whether I want to go through with it or not.