Finally found a suitable tree in an alright location. This is it for me, I'll ctb on Saturday.

[Exhausted546]

2 hours left good luck

A part of me would want to enjoy these last 2 hours but enjoying it would make me hesitate and postpone. I can't keep postponing, especially when this is likely my very last opportunity for some time

I'll spend it psyching myself up from now on, I was essentially there this morning until I started enjoying some stuff that appeared on my feed

 

[fluorescentpearl]

I believe in uu to be able to find peace you're very strong

 

[Ben 111]

No one is rushing you....i mean you can always postpone

It's the only brother of mine that's not actively against me.
Anyway, I got sidetracked and distracted by some comedy stuff. Back on track, it's better I hang in the next 2 hours (my father will be back in 4 hours, just in case there's a faulty setup I need to fix I gotta leave myself enough time). I got everything ready, all that's left is to get on that chair then kick it. I need to psyche myself back up into it

There's alot of things about life that I'll miss, it's better I don't think of that though

 

[csites]

hi! i wish you well, i hope you can find peace

 

[Exhausted546]

Rope around my neck I just need to hurry and kick the chair. God damn this is scary.

On a side note I am so glad I went through my phone again for things to delete, found some super embarassing things I am so glad I caught and deleted before I died.

Anyway my heart is racing,I pray I don't suffer

I read a post that says the anniversary of the death hits hard everytime. It was my niece's birthday yesterday so I feel bad that her birthday will be tainted with my death from now on but God damn, I've postponed countless times cause it was too close to someone's birthday or a particular family event or something. At this rate I'll still be here in 2027 still being treated like shit while jumping through hoops to inconvenience the least people (they treat me like shit) possible.

 

[csites]

good luck, i hope youll be alright

 

[fluorescentpearl]

Rope around my neck I just need to hurry and kick the chair. God damn this is scary.

On a side note I am so glad I went through my phone again for things to delete, found some super embarassing things I am so glad I caught and deleted before I died.

Anyway my heart is racing,I pray I don't suffer

Good luck, uur strong and I hope uu find peace uu deserve it however it goes

Rope around my neck I just need to hurry and kick the chair. God damn this is scary.

On a side note I am so glad I went through my phone again for things to delete, found some super embarassing things I am so glad I caught and deleted before I died.

Anyway my heart is racing,I pray I don't suffer

Good luck, uur strong and I hope uu find peace uu deserve it however it goes
Oh my God I'm sorry it sent twice somehow I'm so sorry

 

[TheGuy458]

I wish you peace. I'm going soon, so save me a seat at the bus when you arrive. Ideally a seat near the front of the bus, the back seats make me motion sick.

 

[Salhalla]

Hope you find peace

 

[Exhausted546]

Tried easing my way into it but it's hard to do while keeping the rope position on your neck at the right spot. The rope position makes all the different between a gruesome death and losing consciousness in a couple seconds

I'm so anxious I'm sweating, 2 hours before my dad gets home so less than 1 hour left to hang otherwise it's too risky.

What's stopping my from kicking the chair? The fear that it'll hurt badly and that the rope will end up in the middle of my neck or something and I'll die a gruesome death

I think I might me overthinking It and should just impulsively kick it while holding the rope at the top of my neck. I saw countless vids, people lose consciousness so fucking fast so why am I being anxious over this.

 

[GroundControl]

Thinking of you, man. It's okay to be scared. That SI is a bitch to push through. No shame in backing out, if that's what you wish.

 

[Exhausted546]

Wow I'm still shaking,my brain is hurting like crazy I almost died. This set up definitely works. I think I was close to passing out, endured the rope burn, still letting the bucket I place underneath the chair partially support my weight.

Then I was desperately trying to breathe but couldn't,I knew I had to endure a bit longer but I needed to breathe in the end I desperately put my foot back on the chair, it almost slipped, pulled my way up to attempt to loosen the rope from around my neck started gasping for air heavily and here im writing this

I think that "easing your way into passing out" is my mistake, cause it gives time for the survival instinct to kick in. I guess I really just have to kick the chair

The rope burn does hurt. I barely have any time left to do it.
The one time I kicked the chair in January, it was impulsive,I only survived cause the set-up was faulty. I didn't overthink things,I just did it. I should probably do the same thing