Final thoughts: One can never truly conceptualize death and nothingness until they face death itself. I thought I had prepared sufficiently, but still there is a shred of fear of not being here. I know it's illogical, and I know my decision based on logic stands, but my heart goes out to those who are able to CTB or those who choose recovery. Life is a perilous journey. Be proud of where you are, regardless of anything else. I wait for the eternal ocean of nothingness to greet my mortal body. I only pray there is nothing after death. If there is nothing, all my fears and concerns will be gone. A person is gone once they leave. They speak no more, walk no more, think no more, hold no more connections. That is a scary concept indeed. But it is my choice over the known pain and suffering of life and consciousness.
Godspeed
