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chiikawalover616

chiikawalover616

irrepressible thoughts of death barbie
Apr 22, 2026
17
Hi everyone. This will probably be my last post on here.

I bought measuring cups, and weights. I have everything I need. I've been fasting since for 8 hours and I've taken 5mg of clonazepam (benzo) 45 minutes prior. I've also taken 20mg domperidone, and now I am going to have 25mg of SN in 50ml water. I have another backup cup in case I throw it up.

Thank you everyone for supporting me so far, for all your kind and wonderful messages, and for the advice. This has been so invaluable to me. I'm truly happy to have been a part of this community for a short while. Please take care of yourselves.

If I fail today for whatever reason, I'll update you all
So for one last time, I'm signing off :)
 
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RawRX3

RawRX3

She/They | Waf Waf Awoo ^w^
Jul 16, 2026
85
<3
 
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tokyoboo

tokyoboo

Member
Jul 24, 2026
51
I'm happy to hear this, I hope you have a peaceful cbt, goodluck ma friend
 
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D

DeathSweetDeath

Visionary
Nov 12, 2025
2,094
I hope you find peace 🕊️.
 
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P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
13,566
Good luck! I I hope you find peace :heart:
 
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Macedonian1987

Macedonian1987

Just a sad guy from Macedonia.
Oct 22, 2025
1,332
Good luck. May you find the peace you were looking for and be freed of all suffering. The movie you made (Suicideland) was beautiful.
 
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darksouls

darksouls

Angelic
May 10, 2025
4,222
🕊️ peace and love to you, my friend
 
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bl33ding_heart

bl33ding_heart

Borderline
Jun 24, 2025
810
Rest peacefully lovely 💕
 
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100memoryleaks

100memoryleaks

I'm sorry sweetie, I miss you
Jul 6, 2026
226
safe travels and i hope you find the peace you're looking for <3
 
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geepeedee

geepeedee

no future
Feb 24, 2026
379
goodbye and good luck. hope you find peace.
 
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Die.A.Ria

Die.A.Ria

My medical condition ruined everything
Jul 17, 2026
277
I hope you find peace🩷
 
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Myra_Toast

Myra_Toast

Member
Jun 5, 2023
14
holy, saw your film when it came out, didnt realise it was you. i hope u find some peace
 
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fluorescentpearl

fluorescentpearl

Siin me kohtume siis, See on ju armastus hüperbolo
Jul 19, 2026
692
Wishing you the best 💜
 
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NotUrDream

NotUrDream

Loveless
May 21, 2026
75
Rest in eternal peace♡
 
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pond

pond

stuck like a nerf dart
May 8, 2018
304
I hope you find peace. Take care.
 
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N

never mind me

Arcanist
Nov 7, 2022
410
Safe travels. I hope you find peace.
 
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Neosisyphean

Neosisyphean

Kiwi
Jun 4, 2026
21
Your film was beautiful, and I hope you find the peace you are looking for.
 
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Endstati0n

Endstati0n

"dying is like taking off a tight shoe" - ram dass
May 10, 2026
149
Kinda feel like this is going to hit the news. "Girl who made animation about suicide that millions saw, died of suicide".

Anyways, good luck and i too hope you find peace. We Loved your art.

See you on the otherside!
 
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schrocatparadox

schrocatparadox

come
Jul 3, 2026
9
Hi everyone. This will probably be my last post on here.

I bought measuring cups, and weights. I have everything I need. I've been fasting since for 8 hours and I've taken 5mg of clonazepam (benzo) 45 minutes prior. I've also taken 20mg domperidone, and now I am going to have 25mg of SN in 50ml water. I have another backup cup in case I throw it up.

Thank you everyone for supporting me so far, for all your kind and wonderful messages, and for the advice. This has been so invaluable to me. I'm truly happy to have been a part of this community for a short while. Please take care of yourselves.

If I fail today for whatever reason, I'll update you all
So for one last time, I'm signing off :)
rest in peace 🕊️
 
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Reactions: darksouls
roastedpotato5230

roastedpotato5230

fuĉk it we ball
Jul 5, 2026
33
rest in peace🩷
 
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D

DeathSweetDeath

Visionary
Nov 12, 2025
2,094
I really hope you change your mind, but I doubt anything a stranger online could convince you not to CTB. You've probably considering not CTB beforehand, but at least consider aborting before drinking the cup. Maybe the actual SN being in front of you will cause some revelation. I'm not saying you don't have a right to commit suicide, just that the here might be other solutions. Once again I'm sure you have considered these other solutions but as I said before the SN being in front of you might cause a revelation

I mean… you posted this over four hours after they signed off, so it's very likely they were already resting in peace by the time you wrote this.
 
ForestGhost

ForestGhost

PFP by user ropeburns&migranes
Aug 25, 2024
277
Thank you for sharing your art with us. I'm sorry, I wish things could have turned out differently for you, but I hope you're resting now. 💞
 
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telekon

telekon

Mage
Feb 5, 2025
591
This makes me so sad... You are so amazing and full of talent. You have the ability to make really watchable stuff...Why kill yourself? :( I understand though because life is hard. It's tough to take care of oneself these days. I wish you peace and a heavenly afterlife.

I think I am not condoning suicide for anyone who has not tried everything. If you still have a roof over your head and ways to get your basic needs met, it's not your time please don't do it... You can feel good again and achieve something great for the world like this person did and would have kept doing, to make people's lives better.
I mean… you posted this over four hours after they signed off, so it's very likely they were already resting in peace by the time you wrote this.
Possibly. I seen people offline for longer and then they came back later so I hope she's still with us.
 
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MrMegalomaniac

MrMegalomaniac

On year 8 of my unfortunate extended time
Jul 24, 2026
21
I hope you find eternal peace 💜
 
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DignifiedGrave

DignifiedGrave

GrinderofSouls
Jul 5, 2026
135
Chika. We never spoke, I don't believe you are aware of me. That said, i hope you find peace. I loved SuicideLand, and i want you to know, that your work brought me greater peace and that I think this same peace will find you. From the few post of yours I read you seemed like a incredibly wonderful person and you will be missed. We'll remember you as long as we can.
Kinda feel like this is going to hit the news. "Girl who made animation about suicide that millions saw, died of suicide".

Anyways, good luck and i too hope you find peace. We Loved your art.

See you on the otherside!
God i hope not. I feel its incredibly insensitive when media tries to sensationalize suicide. Its just such a personal decision and thing to do, to make something like that more public than the person intended just seems gross.
 
Last edited:
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DreamingDryad

DreamingDryad

Member
Aug 2, 2026
15
Just watched Suicideland, it was beautiful. I hope you've found peace. 💜
 
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