Yeah, when you have everything you need to potentially end your existence, things get very real.
It's a big decision, you're either ready or you're not.
Yeah, I've seen others mention that making the exit bag isn't as straightforward as the how-to videos make out. Did you use an elastic band for around the neck of the bag, or a sports headband/sweatband?
If the hose is too heavy, maybe switch to pvc/vinyl tubing. You don't want something heavy pulling down on the bag.
The PPH says it can take about 2 minutes for the exit bag to fill:
View attachment 131293
It's good to practice as much as possible.
Get as comfortable as you can with the setup.
Nerves are normal, good luck with things!