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HelpDrugs/SH methods that can make me into a child mentally?
Thread starterAnHeroTransGirl
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Proof of what? You're acting like being traumatized so much that you're perpetually age-regressing is some kind of goal? You're clearly being insensitive.
I'm sorry, but there isn't any drug or physical injury that's going to regress your mental state to that of a child. There simply isn't.
And, like others have said, it isn't fair to your gf. I understand that you think she'd be okay with this because she loves you. I'm sure she does love you a lot! But that doesn't mean that being a caretaker in the way you're saying you want for the rest of y'all's lives is actually going to be good for her. She may be okay with it now but no matter how much you love someone it's very difficult.
I get that living as an adult can be terrifying… most people don't enjoy all the stresses and responsibilities. This isn't the answer though.
It seems like nothing anyone says here is going to convince you otherwise, so please at least have some more long discussions with her about this and do research into the mental and physical affects of long term caretaking on the caretaker (there are research studies done on this). If you want me to find some for you and link them here I will.
I'm praying for you and your gf, hoping that you find a way to have a healthy relationship and both take care of each other the best you can.
Am sorry but I can't comprehend this being genuine, but if you are serious about this then you guys can role play like in the video suggested above for some time and see where it leads before subjecting your self to permanent damage. Thinking and saying you want something and actually experiencing and living through it are quite different. You may also look into getting help as this desire could be a copping mechanism of the brain in response to a truma.
Proof of what? You're acting like being traumatized so much that you're perpetually age-regressing is some kind of goal? You're clearly being insensitive.
I'm sorry, but there isn't any drug or physical injury that's going to regress your mental state to that of a child. There simply isn't.
And, like others have said, it isn't fair to your gf. I understand that you think she'd be okay with this because she loves you. I'm sure she does love you a lot! But that doesn't mean that being a caretaker in the way you're saying you want for the rest of y'all's lives is actually going to be good for her. She may be okay with it now but no matter how much you love someone it's very difficult.
I get that living as an adult can be terrifying… most people don't enjoy all the stresses and responsibilities. This isn't the answer though.
It seems like nothing anyone says here is going to convince you otherwise, so please at least have some more long discussions with her about this and do research into the mental and physical affects of long term caretaking on the caretaker (there are research studies done on this). If you want me to find some for you and link them here I will.
I'm praying for you and your gf, hoping that you find a way to have a healthy relationship and both take care of each other the best you can.
Am sorry but I can't comprehend this being genuine, but if you are serious about this then you guys can role play like in the video suggested above for some time and see where it leads before subjecting your self to permanent damage. Thinking and saying you want something and actually experiencing and living through it are quite different. You may also look into getting help as this desire could be a copping mechanism of the brain in response to a truma.
Well obviously it's a coping mechanism. My life went downhill once I turned 13. My parents stopped caring about me, and proceeded to only use me as a butler. I wanna go back to being how I was when people loved me. Back when I was happy. Forever.
I work in healthcare. I see firsthand people who have experienced brain injuries that disable them into "child-like" states. And those child like states are nothing like the joy of childhood. They are bed ridden, fed through a tube, sometimes even require tubes in their throat that act as airways (trachs if you are familiar with those), and often seem in extreme pain most of the time. They lose the ability to communicate, they become very sick very easily, are often prone to seizures. This is not a lollipops and rainbows kind of child-like state, this is true suffering. There is no way to induce the feeling of being a five year old again, and I can assure you that being disabled is not anything to enjoy.
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divinemistress87, gardenfairy, touhoufan and 5 others
I work in healthcare. I see firsthand people who have experienced brain injuries that disable them into "child-like" states. And those child like states are nothing like the joy of childhood. They are bed ridden, fed through a tube, sometimes even require tubes in their throat that act as airways (trachs if you are familiar with those), and often seem in extreme pain most of the time. They lose the ability to communicate, they become very sick very easily, are often prone to seizures. This is not a lollipops and rainbows kind of child-like state, this is true suffering. There is no way to induce the feeling of being a five year old again, and I can assure you that being disabled is not anything to enjoy.
I mean there's so many people who use disabilities as some sort of pride symbol in some circles so surely there's some truth to it being "not terrible" as one makes it out to be.
Smoke weed and do things that make you feel nostalgic. Play old video games or listen to their soundtracks. Watch old cartoons. Ride bikes, play with dolls, whatever reminds you of better times. This is exactly what you want.
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LostLittleWolf, stilhavinightmares, divinemistress87 and 3 others
I mean there's so many people who use disabilities as some sort of pride symbol in some circles so surely there's some truth to it being "not terrible" as one makes it out to be.
You want to no longer be able to enjoy food or drink because you lack the ability to chew and not aspirate? No more candies or chocolates or chicken nuggets that kids love, just horrible smelling formula. Diapers? Yeah you'll be stuck in them like a child but will struggle to poop on your own and will require a strict regime of laxatives and enemas to go. You'll be taken care of like a sick child, sure, because you'll probably be miserable in the hospital being pumped full of antibiotics and given painful physical therapy because you caught the common cold and your lungs can't handle that anymore. Being transitioned from your bed to your wheelchair will be a multi person process that often seems to cause them pain as their muscles are so tense and sore from contractures.
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voidstar, iori, dreamingofrest and 3 others
Smoke weed and do things that make you feel nostalgic. Play old video games or listen to their soundtracks. Watch old cartoons. Ride bikes, play with dolls, whatever reminds you of better times. This is exactly what you want.
I mean there's so many people who use disabilities as some sort of pride symbol in some circles so surely there's some truth to it being "not terrible" as one makes it out to be.
Like everybody else here, I also believe that it's impossible to be a child again, at least in the way that you want to be. It's possible to have a child-like mentality and mindset on certain things but it's impossible to gain the freedom that a child has. And, even if you were to gain the state of a child again by making yourself permanently disabled, people won't treat you like a child at all. They'll treat you like an adult, an adult who isn't innocent (simply because you aren't a child and people equate children to innocence) and they'll use that to trample over you (metaphorically of course) because, once again, you are an adult and not an innocent child. People are biased for children, not for disabled adults who function cognitively like children.
Also, I remember a thread you made in the recovery section about wanting control in your life related to family. Children aren't the ones who can gain control over their lives like that but adults can.
All in all, I'm sorry for how cruel life is to you and everybody else to where we'd rather do this than go through life. That just goes to show how shitty life is. And I feel like other people here wish to be a kid too. Life is so shitty to where people wish they were kids instead of adults and I honestly think that's a valid thing to wish for. Unfortunately, some things can't be controlled and being a child again once you become an adult is one of them
Like everybody else here, I also believe that it's impossible to be a child again, at least in the way that you want to be. It's possible to have a child-like mentality and mindset on certain things but it's impossible to gain the freedom that a child has. And, even if you were to gain the state of a child again by making yourself permanently disabled, people won't treat you like a child at all. They'll treat you like an adult, an adult who isn't innocent (simply because you aren't a child and people equate children to innocence) and they'll use that to trample over you (metaphorically of course) because, once again, you are an adult and not an innocent child. People are biased for children, not for disabled adults who function cognitively like children.
Also, I remember a thread you made in the recovery section about wanting control in your life related to family. Children aren't the ones who can gain control over their lives like that but adults can.
All in all, I'm sorry for how cruel life is to you and everybody else to where we'd rather do this than go through life. That just goes to show how shitty life is. And I feel like other people here wish to be a kid too. Life is so shitty to where people wish they were kids instead of adults and I honestly think that's a valid thing to wish for. Unfortunately, some things can't be controlled and being a child again once you become an adult is one of them
I wanted to gain control to get revenge before I left and then became a child. I mean I was thinking of following up with plastic surgery to make myself look ambiguous in age. I'm already trans so it's not like I wasn't going to get some sort of operation to fix my appearance. Either way with all the diseases in the world, and all the shit Twitter has made socially acceptable, surely this will happen as well.
If your girlfriend is fine with taking care of you I don't understand why you can't just tell her that you want her to take care of you so your mental health can be helped? It seems obvious that she wants you to not be in pain.
When she is taking care of you, you can simply just act like a child again.
Unless you know she won't do that and you want to guilt trip her? If that's the case it won't work. Burnout will overcome guilt every time.
A big part about being a child is the endless potential you have because you know you will grow up. Thats why so many of them are "worry-free" because they can grow up to be anything, nothing is set in stone yet. But if you force a mental disability on you that is forever set in stone. A big reason why you can never be a child again.
But even if children are "stupid," that doesn't mean they will be ignorant of the world or be necessarily innocent. Even with the mental intelligence as a child you will still experience suffering.
There are TONS of children who suffer each and every day and maybe even worse because they are children. It's the environment and internal factors that determine happiness, not necessarily being a child.
And even in the ways they are ignorant of suffering, they will still suffer in other ways simply because of their ignorance.
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If your girlfriend is fine with taking care of you I don't understand why you can't just tell her that you want her to take care of you so your mental health can be helped? It seems obvious that she wants you to not be in pain.
When she is taking care of you, you can simply just act like a child again.
Unless you know she won't do that and you want to guilt trip her? If that's the case it won't work. Burnout will overcome guilt every time.
A big part about being a child is the endless potential you have because you know you will grow up. Thats why so many of them are "worry-free" because they can grow up to be anything, nothing is set in stone yet. But if you force a mental disability on you that is forever set in stone. A big reason why you can never be a child again.
But even if children are "stupid," that doesn't mean they will be ignorant of the world or be necessarily innocent. Even with the mental intelligence as a child you will still experience suffering.
There are TONS of children who suffer each and every day and maybe even worse because they are children. It's the environment and internal factors that determine happiness, not necessarily being a child.
And even in the ways they are ignorant of suffering, they will still suffer in other ways simply because of their ignorance.
I mean the first thing you said is true. Me and my gf have a MDLG relationship. That's one of the many reasons I love her. I just yearn for an emotion that isn't suffering and yearn for a time people didn't take things I do so personally and yearn for a time where people cared.
I mean the first thing you said is true. Me and my gf have a MDLG relationship. That's one of the many reasons I love her. I just yearn for an emotion that isn't suffering and yearn for a time people didn't take things I do so personally and yearn for a time where people cared.
I understand. Sometimes I act childish or more sick than I am to get care. But being disabled isn't going to get you there. It's the people you surround yourself with that give you care and how you treat other people.
Sure, being mentally not there will get people to pity and give some extra care. I cannot deny that. But there's a reason why they do that and it comes at an extreme cost.
Even then, there are also lots of people who will see you and dehumanize you and treat you less than due to that cost as well. That is extremely common with children and disabled folk.
So the main reason why people treat you with kindness is because they are just kind or they feel like it's the right thing to do.
If you feel like you are not ready for the adult world, or if your upbringing feels like you are stunted and you can't handle everything and need extra care. It's okay to just say that and communicate you need extra care and patience. If they are kind they will understand and help you.
If they are not then they not be very dependable even if you were disabled, I would say they would treat it more seriously but I would also say you would still suffer due to the environment you will make for yourself.
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voidstar, dreamingofrest, AInilam and 2 others
Do you currently live with your GF? Or is she long distance?
Im sorry but the way youre writing this out just makes it seem like you're entirely relying on her. I've had a similar relationship in the past as the caretaker and as I grew up I realized this isn't what I wanted. I wanted reciprocation. Whats stopping her from having the same realization?
You cannot base yourself on the idea that she's going to be here, with you, forever. Relationships work both ways. If you force yourself into a permanent state of regression, the delusion will inevitably one day come to a halt when she needs an adult partner to talk about adult things. To an extent, in my eyes, this is even more 'selfish' than CTBing considering you just expect her to stay by your side 24/7, like she wouldnt have her own life and things to take care of.
Please talk to her about it. Find an alternative like everyone mentioned in the thread. Love has its limits.
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リンさん, ForgottenAgain, Abyssal and 2 others
Do you currently live with your GF? Or is she long distance?
Im sorry but the way youre writing this out just makes it seem like you're entirely relying on her. I've had a similar relationship in the past as the caretaker and as I grew up I realized this isn't what I wanted. I wanted reciprocation. Whats stopping her from having the same realization?
You cannot base yourself on the idea that she's going to be here, with you, forever. Relationships work both ways. If you force yourself into a permanent state of regression, the delusion will inevitably one day come to a halt when she needs an adult partner to talk about adult things. To an extent, in my eyes, this is even more 'selfish' than CTBing considering you just expect her to stay by your side 24/7, like she wouldnt have her own life and things to take care of.
Please talk to her about it. Find an alternative like everyone mentioned in the thread. Love has its limits.
This is also a good point as well, I always recommend getting outside help but it's also important to realize that a relationship cannot be codependent. It's unhealthy to just rely on one person, if you need help try to build a network. She can still try to take care of you but don't be trying to take advantage of her kindness. Make sure you're kind to her as well and remember her needs. If you want to age regress do it in appropriate settings and in a way that still allows good boundaries/communication etc. There's a fine line to everything.
So me not wanting to CTB and wanting to have a last ditch effort at being happy is "insensitive"? Okay.
You're right. Nothing will convince me otherwise. There HAS to be a way.
Who are you calling "guy"? I'm not trolling.
Well obviously it's a coping mechanism. My life went downhill once I turned 13. My parents stopped caring about me, and proceeded to only use me as a butler. I wanna go back to being how I was when people loved me. Back when I was happy. Forever.
The thing is you already have people in your life that love you.
I know what it's like to reminisce about the past and instances where you felt truly happy and carefree, a lot of people do. I think it's good to appreciate the good times you had that you may have overlooked at the time.
However, you'll just have to figure out how to recreate the happiness these memories brought you in a way that isn't at the detriment of yourself or others. Plenty of adults still have a favorite plushie, snack or cartoon that they enjoy because it's comforting and nostalgic. Maybe find something that brings you enjoyment, wonder or offer a little break from the adult world--I know it's hard if you're suffering from depression but there's still so much to see and do in this world. I'd try pursuing things that'd make your inner child/ younger self happy and proud--like train or lego sets, building a movie night pillow fort or getting to things like baking, amateur astronomy or painting.
I think it's important to accept that your childhood years are long behind you, but that's okay, everyone gets old. That doesn't necessarily mean we have to become shells of our younger selves, it just means that it takes a little bit more time and effort to make ourselves healthy and happy. Like the comment above said it's okay to ask for help, a lot of adults are at a loss at what to do once they become of age.
I'm mom of a child with numerous permanent disabilities. He has a trach, ventilator, feeding tube, and the list goes on. He is also nonverbal. He is not a "vegetable" as many have referenced (a term I actually find kinda offensive), as he is full of personality/joy and loves to play with baby toys, but he is definitely my "forever baby" and I will care for him as long as he lives.
That being said, he didn't choose this life, and there is NOTHING easy about it for him OR myself. I love him more than anything else in this world and I accept him 100% just as he is, but do you know how hard it is for me knowing I'll never have a normal conversation with him or do the "normal" parent things?
Please think long and hard before putting this responsibility on a partner. Even if she willingly agrees, she has no idea what she's truly in for unless she's been a caregiver to someone with disabilities for a long time. I can assure you it's nothing like taking care of a typical, healthy child.
I could go on but honestly you seem pretty determined to do what you want to do regardless of the advice you are getting. If you have any questions, though, feel free to ask. I have more experience in this arena than most because taking care of a special needs child is my whole life.
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gardenfairy, voidstar, boddibo and 3 others
I understand. Sometimes I act childish or more sick than I am to get care. But being disabled isn't going to get you there. It's the people you surround yourself with that give you care and how you treat other people.
Sure, being mentally not there will get people to pity and give some extra care. I cannot deny that. But there's a reason why they do that and it comes at an extreme cost.
Even then, there are also lots of people who will see you and dehumanize you and treat you less than due to that cost as well. That is extremely common with children and disabled folk.
So the main reason why people treat you with kindness is because they are just kind or they feel like it's the right thing to do.
If you feel like you are not ready for the adult world, or if your upbringing feels like you are stunted and you can't handle everything and need extra care. It's okay to just say that and communicate you need extra care and patience. If they are kind they will understand and help you.
If they are not then they not be very dependable even if you were disabled, I would say they would treat it more seriously but I would also say you would still suffer due to the environment you will make for yourself.
The people who "dehumanize" are people who will not have lives for long anyways. Plus I plan on getting a gun for protection when a move out and no one will suspect a someone with the mind of a kid to deal that kind of punishment.
Do you currently live with your GF? Or is she long distance?
Im sorry but the way youre writing this out just makes it seem like you're entirely relying on her. I've had a similar relationship in the past as the caretaker and as I grew up I realized this isn't what I wanted. I wanted reciprocation. Whats stopping her from having the same realization?
You cannot base yourself on the idea that she's going to be here, with you, forever. Relationships work both ways. If you force yourself into a permanent state of regression, the delusion will inevitably one day come to a halt when she needs an adult partner to talk about adult things. To an extent, in my eyes, this is even more 'selfish' than CTBing considering you just expect her to stay by your side 24/7, like she wouldnt have her own life and things to take care of.
Please talk to her about it. Find an alternative like everyone mentioned in the thread. Love has its limits.
Long distance. I rely on her for emotional support, and I'll take any method to make myself in the state of being a kid again. Fully. Drugs and SH aren't the limit. I want that feeling again.
This is also a good point as well, I always recommend getting outside help but it's also important to realize that a relationship cannot be codependent. It's unhealthy to just rely on one person, if you need help try to build a network. She can still try to take care of you but don't be trying to take advantage of her kindness. Make sure you're kind to her as well and remember her needs. If you want to age regress do it in appropriate settings and in a way that still allows good boundaries/communication etc. There's a fine line to everything.
Literally anyone can be a therapist nowadays. I had someone who harassed me for nearly a year get a job at a suicide hotline place. True therapy doesn't exist anymore.
I'm mom of a child with numerous permanent disabilities. He has a trach, ventilator, feeding tube, and the list goes on. He is also nonverbal. He is not a "vegetable" as many have referenced (a term I actually find kinda offensive), as he is full of personality/joy and loves to play with baby toys, but he is definitely my "forever baby" and I will care for him as long as he lives.
That being said, he didn't choose this life, and there is NOTHING easy about it for him OR myself. I love him more than anything else in this world and I accept him 100% just as he is, but do you know how hard it is for me knowing I'll never have a normal conversation with him or do the "normal" parent things?
Please think long and hard before putting this responsibility on a partner. Even if she willingly agrees, she has no idea what she's truly in for unless she's been a caregiver to someone with disabilities for a long time. I can assure you it's nothing like taking care of a typical, healthy child.
I could go on but honestly you seem pretty determined to do what you want to do regardless of the advice you are getting. If you have any questions, though, feel free to ask. I have more experience in this arena than most because taking care of a special needs child is my whole life.
Okay but your experiences and emotions are different from other people. Many parents portray that they're proud to be the "autism mom" or "autism dad".
Long distance. I rely on her for emotional support, and I'll take any method to make myself in the state of being a kid again. Fully. Drugs and SH aren't the limit. I want that feeling again.
So you prove my point then. That the decision is entirely based around your feelings and not hers. This entire thread is all about you and not her. You're thinking selfishly.
She has no real commitment to you or your relationship when the both of you are still long distance. Who says she'd ever commit to a full on lifetime womanbaby?
The way you're being avoidant on telling her your 'plans' and seeing her reaction speaks for itself. I really hope you don't ever intend on forcing that situation upon her.
So you prove my point then. That the decision is entirely based around your feelings and not hers. This entire thread is all about you and not her. You're thinking selfishly.
She has no real commitment to you or your relationship when the both of you are still long distance. Who says she'd ever commit to a full on lifetime womanbaby?
The way you're being avoidant on telling her your 'plans' and seeing her reaction speaks for itself. I really hope you don't ever intend on forcing that situation upon her.
The only reason I'm reluctant is because I don't need her stopping me from self harming. If she was apathetic to that sort of thing, I wouldn't care. If she loves me as much as she says she does, she'd take care of me regardless. I've explained why this endeavor is not selfish, there is nothing you can say or do to make me not want to go through with this.
Once I move out, I plan on giving myself injuries/drugs to make myself a kid again. My girlfriend already assumes the role of a "mommy" to me. (Both SFW and NSFW) She's worried about me doing something like this but I know she will love me regardless if I do it or not. Why injure myself in such a way? Simple, I hate being an adult. I would just CTB for this and tell the angels "I'm sorry but I couldn't do it" but I love her too much to put her through the pain of me CTBing and she said she would CTB if she did and I want her to live a full life if I pass away. So to compromise, I want to take away 90% of the reasons I hate existing by making myself a kid forever. I'll be naive and happier, and being disabled means I never have to work again (work being one of the many reasons I self harm). How would I go about doing this? Just pretending isn't enough.
Wanting to be a kid again is one of the reasons why I wish to go too~ Being an adult sucks so much :/ The biggest trap of life is wanting to grow up but not doing so is so detrimental to one's social life as well~ I never grew up and basically just view everyone as poisoned and corrupted around me and feel as though I am becoming the same way :( From what I understand, Alzheimer's Disesase sets one back mentally, but it's like living life in reverse in regards to your abilities and one has to deal with being elderly that whole time too.
Anyways, I wish there was a way to become a kid again, but idk one either~ If anyone here does know of a way, pls tell me as well! ^_^ for now, I suppose, it's just prayers~
Once I move out, I plan on giving myself injuries/drugs to make myself a kid again. My girlfriend already assumes the role of a "mommy" to me. (Both SFW and NSFW) She's worried about me doing something like this but I know she will love me regardless if I do it or not. Why injure myself in such a way? Simple, I hate being an adult. I would just CTB for this and tell the angels "I'm sorry but I couldn't do it" but I love her too much to put her through the pain of me CTBing and she said she would CTB if she did and I want her to live a full life if I pass away. So to compromise, I want to take away 90% of the reasons I hate existing by making myself a kid forever. I'll be naive and happier, and being disabled means I never have to work again (work being one of the many reasons I self harm). How would I go about doing this? Just pretending isn't enough.
Have you thought about adult baby (diaper lover) ?
It's basically where adults go into "little space" and they become a baby. The age can be wide but it's mostly baby / 3 to 5 year old.
Yes some people do this because it's a fetish but others do this to be able to cope with trauma. They relive their childhood in a safe way.
You have the decision to go into little space whenever you want and your girlfriend can take care of you, feed you, change your diaper, give you baths ,....
You can make a room where u have a baby bed and other toys
This isn't a permanent damaging decision like you want to achieve but it's a healthy way of reliving your childhood.
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