Discussion Dreams about suicide.

[Okami]

Just curious to read any potential dreams (or nightmares) you've had that included suicide.

For me, despite me thinking about suicide on a daily basis, I only had my first dream about it fairly recently. I don't remember too many details, but the dream itself had a really odd and somewhat saddening atmosphere, but not enough to negatively impact me. In fact, the entire time I believe I was practically indifferent, despite what was about to happen. I felt like this was just natural and something that I had to do.

Basically, for the entirety of the dream I was searching for a building that would be high enough to guarantee my death if I were to jump. Needless to say, I succeeded. I actually don't remember the actual fall itself, but I recall the feeling of adrenaline and the wind blowing through my hair. I guess having an entire dream revolving around this method in particular is only further proof of how much I wish to go this way, though it's unfortunately not possible. I can only regularly fantasize about it.

 

[nzdarkshark]

I've had many dreams to do with death, including suicide.
They started as drowning, then it changed to me hanging myself - once I took poison.
Recently I drempt I tried to kill myself with a gun to the head but failed.
It's so bizarre.

 

[Tiburcio]

Even in dreams I'm too coward for killing myself.

 

[Deleted_9cKnXB34QG]

I dreamed about drowning and hanging myself, the sensation of dying was so unbelievably peaceful and "warm"... it felt really good like going to a place of complete tranquility and harmony.

As I drowned I was sinking down and at the bottom of the sea I met my grandfather - he was making wine and at some point I was swimming in wine, not in water :D and I woke up.
When I hanged myself I felt that warmth and peace but the shoelace snapped.

I also had a dream about getting shot, I was laying there bleeding out, but it didn't hurt. I was totally OK with it.

 

[Miss clefable]

Only dreams I have is people killing me

 

[RoloTomasi]

Just curious to read any potential dreams (or nightmares) you've had that included suicide.

For me, despite me thinking about suicide on a daily basis, I only had my first dream about it fairly recently. I don't remember too many details, but the dream itself had a really odd and somewhat saddening atmosphere, but not enough to negatively impact me. In fact, the entire time I believe I was practically indifferent, despite what was about to happen. I felt like this was just natural and something that I had to do.

Basically, for the entirety of the dream I was searching for a building that would be high enough to guarantee my death if I were to jump. Needless to say, I succeeded. I actually don't remember the actual fall itself, but I recall the feeling of adrenaline and the wind blowing through my hair. I guess having an entire dream revolving around this method in particular is only further proof of how much I wish to go this way, though it's unfortunately not possible. I can only regularly fantasize about it.

So you woke up as soon as you made the jump?

I don't have dreams where I actually attempted to ctb, or maybe I just forgot should there be any. But I had several dreams where my life is in grave danger, like a slasher chasing me, or a terrorist attack. Back then before I am suicidal, in these dreams, I am quite sure I did my best to survive and somewhere in the back of my head, I knew I'd get out of this pickle. But in my similar dreams as of late, I forgot the details, but I'm quite sure I was intentionally putting myself in harm's way and it really felt like I am actively seeking death in the dream, and I did die in that dream, it felt somewhat peaceful.

 

[MEoDP]

As a lucid dreamer,I do keep a dream journal. I don't have suicidal dreams all that often either,but I do have one written in my new dream journal that I'd like to share. It happened on January 30,2018 (so,its been quite awhile ago)

To give some background on it,I mentioned earlier ago that one of the miraculous things that's happened to me is passing a subject that I'm supposed to take a re-exam in,but without actually taking that re-exam. (due to circumstances,I was given a passing grade but with the deal of me having to take a re-exam within the semester) This dream happened while I was in dread over the re-exam because I simply did not have the ability to pass it,I kept delaying and keeping my mouth shut about it,hoping the professor would just forget about it. (and...it happened,she did. I guess she took pity on me). I somewhat edited it to remove personal info from my life and give better clarity. Here goes:

I have a re-exam that I'm supposed to take with Ms. B,and been doing my damn best to delay and keep quiet about it in hopes that Ms. B forgets about it or just let it go without incident. Well,my actions have finally come to bite me in the ass. My passing grade was converted into a failing grade and it was announced through the school speakers that I have failed along with other students. It seems I wasn't the only one who was scheduled to take a re-exam. The difference however is that those other students actually took the exam,and failed while I tried to avoid it.

I got the lowest score at 9000 points. the scores of the other failing students were around hundreds of thousands,one of them even had a score of 500,000. (Typical dream weirdness,you know?)

One of those students who failed looked familiar. He exuded a "tough guy" vibe of a bully that I'm very familiar with. He actually looked like a bald egghead version of Ralph,one of the people who I got into a fight with in high school in the past. (No,he's not the guy I beat in the "school bully" story I mentioned earlier,this is a different guy)

Needless to say,the event put me into complete shock for some time,but once that shock passed,I finally had to face the grim truth that I've failed Ms. B's subject,AGAIN. (IRL I failed my first take of her subject. I had no other choice but to retake it)
I began walking towards the exit of the school,and while I've had suicidal thoughts in the past,this one is serious. For the first time in my life,I'm actively planning to CTB for real. As I was nearing the exit,Ms. B started talking on the microphone again,talking shit and berating me without mentioning my name. Which is strange,because if she wanted to avoid embarrassing me,why the hell would she announce that I failed to the entire school?

Anyway,once I was outside the school premises,the sky began to darken and it started raining. I usually take rides home,but I'm walking this time. While walking home in the dark rain,trying to plan on how I'm going to CTB,I began to contemplate on my belief on Antinatalism.

THE END

​

There you go. I hope it was an interesting read. :)

Edit: Fortunately in real life,I had a happier ending. The professor dropped it. Whether she forgot or she intentionally let me go,it doesn't matter. I'm glad I don't have to take that re-exam.

 

[GoneSeptember2018]

In one dream, I shot myself in the mouth with a handgun and fell backward in slow motion (weird) but I didn't feel any pain. More recently I had a dream I popped the antiemetics 45 min before it was time to take the N. But I never got around to the N part, not sure why. I've been also having a lot of dreams about being dead or forgotten already. Those are a bit more disturbing/sad.

 

[sky7]

Even in dreams I'm too coward for killing myself.

Same

 

[SnowyDreams]

I've dreamed of dying before but I was always murdered, or chased. Never killed myself in dreams.

 

[TheSternal]

I once while ice skating purposefully let myself be eaten by a crocodile in a dream which I then popped back onto the ice and continued skating. I guess I'm a way it was suicide

 

[QueenEtna]

I've had many dreams of dying though I don't think any of them were suicide

 

[InsidiousDormouse]

I've had dreams where I have actually died and gone into the afterlife. I used to have this fear of carbon monoxide when it was plastered all over the news back in the 90s. A friend of my mum's freaked me out by telling us this story about a whole family who died that way. I dreamed it happened to us, and in this dream I went into the afterlife, where there was loads of other kids playing in this huge park full of climbing frames etc.

Another dream I had I died in a car accident and just as life slipped from me I woke up.

A lot of my recent dreams feature demons, this demon is stalking me, but I am not afraid of it, it cannot understand why I don't fear it, it rules with fear. I would love to know what this means. I don't fear it probably because if you've survived benzo cold turkey, there is nothing left to be afraid of, you've faced every possible fear.

Also the other night I dreamed that out of nowhere this guy sexually assaulted me. He grabbed my chest and my backside, tried to put his hand in between my legs. I have always thought something happened to me when I was very, very young. I have NEVER spoken of it to anyone, but I think someone did something to me when I was a really small kid, someone on our street, a neighbour maybe.


Weird huh.

 

[Maravillosa]

After reading several times Roger Sherman Tracy's "The Question of Pain in Drowning" from Wikisource, I dreamed the last paragraph of the article a couple of nights ago:

https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Popu..._13/May_1878/The_Question_of_Pain_in_Drowning

If death by drowning be inevitable, as in a shipwreck, the easiest way to die would be to suck water into the lungs by a powerful inspiration, as soon as one went beneath the surface. A person who had the courage to do this would probably become almost immediately unconscious, and never rise to the surface. As soon as the fluid filled his lungs, all feelings of chilliness and pain would cease, the indescribable semi-delirium that accompanies anæsthesia would come on, with ringing in the ears and delightful visions of color and light, while he would seem to himself to be gently sinking to rest on the softest of beds and with the most delightful of dreams.​

It was hard to suck the water into my lungs, but afterwards I felt so peaceful. Then I was out of my body and I felt liberated. Then I woke up. However, if I were to ctb in real life, I probably would not choose to drown myself -- if only for the fact that by the time most drowning victims are discovered, their corpses are not particularly pretty. Since I yearn for an open-casket Catholic funeral, I want to leave behind a relatively pretty corpse Silly me, as usual!

 

[Iwant2sleepforever]

As much as I think about it I never had a dream about killing myself. I recently had a dream about one of my little cousins who's 7 I think killing himself. It was so weird, he's a good kid but sometimes he just doesn't listen when I tell him to do something. Anyway it was basically that case in my dream. We were on top of some building and I kept telling stay away from the ledge and he ended looking at me with a devious smile and then he jumped. I didn't feel it was out of him being suicidal, I felt like it was him being stupid, I can't really explain it. I never had that much crazy dreams but this one will probably stand out as one of the dreams that fucks with me the most.

 

[lettuceleaf]

Not killing myself, but all of my walls were painted with blood and my arms drowning in red because I cut them open so many times.

 

[John Doe]

Recently I dream about it every single day. It's always good, peaceful and happy. Sometimes someone kills me first (once I was in a fair to buy sn and was shot). I'm always happy about dying in the dreams. Even when I get scared I remember that if I dream so much and it's good every time it is the right thing to do.
It's never painful, no matter the method I use, the happiness of leaving this world is so big that I feel happy.

 

[MissLisa]

I get vivid dreams about suicide, quite often. It's lovely, as I start to die it is the most peaceful feeling ever. I wake up just longing to feel that peace again. I hope it is a sign that it will be this peaceful.

 

[NotMery]

I only Dreamed once about suicide and It was quite ridiculous: I'd kill myself by taking a poison in the middle of a wedding party. Now guess what... it was Serena Williams and Rihanna wedding! I mean... I woke up like wtf

 

[ScaredOfLife]

I don't dream of suicide but I did last night, as a matter of fact. I dreamed that I shot myself. I heard a loud bang in my dream and then as soon as I shot myself I woke up. I was actually quite distressed when I woke up. I think this is because in real life I was initially planning to shoot myself but switched methods to nitrogen because of the gruesome factor of firearm suicide.

 

[Lara Francis]

I had one dream where I tried to drown myself in a swimming pool but people saved me and I was incredibly annoyed about it.
It's crazy because drowning would be one of my least chosen ways to ctb.
I read it, as me feeling out of my depth with what's happening in my life at the moment.

 

[setianism]

As a kid I often had extremely real nightmares about jumping (or being pushed?) from the rooftop of my house/school. The fall was so real that when I woke up I was shaking. Lately I've been dreaming about climbing trees so that I could hang myself in a forest (which is somewhat my method)

 

[Nightmare]

dreams are dreams, never seen impact in real life especially that my dreams never came true

 

[MEoDP]

Its been awhile since I've posted on this site,but I took a nap today and had this kind of dream,which reminded me of this site.

Details are a bit blurry,but here goes:

I had finally made the firm decision to CTB,by hanging. I went outside the house first and decided to explore a little bit. As an introvert,this is something I rarely ever do but since this is going to be my last time here,I figured to do this at least once more before going. After my exploration outside,I came back into the house and started typing out my detail suicide note on my PC,just like I planned to do. the physical note will just be a brief instruction to go into my PC to find the file. I emotionally wrote my message and apologized to everyone,especially my mom,for what I was about to do. Once done,I proceeded to attempt...and that's the part that my memory cuts off of and I wake up.

 

[crova]

I remember dying in sword fight when I was a kid and it was very strange experience the very moment of death, I cant dress in words right now.
Then I died couple of times falling from height [no context what happen prior]
this was very unpleasant experience I woke up immediately.
I use to have complex and beautiful dreams once, many years ago. Lucid dreams too.
I used to fly in my dreams and it was something I've been waiting for every night.

I miss my dreams very much. I don't dream anymore.