Venting Doing what I love in exchange of CTBing in 9 years or sooner

[metrochan]

The kind of work that gives me satisfaction, joy, and purpose won't earn me a single penny. Especially here in Mexico, where there's more support available for normies than for minorities like me, an autistic individual. Literally every time they find out you are not like them they immediately cut you off, ESPECIALLY in the economical sense.

I love learning languages, translating, pedagogy, philosophy, religion, Christology, geography, etc. You might think that should be enough to get a job and not starve (dunno about affording a house though...). The thing is, I love these subjects in a non-academical way, or an unappealing way. For me, it's way more important to stick to the truth instead of twisting it just to make it attractive to people and get the $$$. I take that to the extreme, and I don't care. But obviously people don't like that, and therefore I've been an social outcast since I was 13 years old, including at the three universities I've attended; that is a serious issue because universities won't award you any degree unless you're able to work with normal people; it's just the way these systems work.

O Fortuna
velut luna
statu variabilis,
semper crescis
aut decrescis.

I guess part of my issue with this life is that I'm autistic as well. And also I can't blame it all on people and my country, because life is simply unfair, people have lost it all just because life decided to do so. I've recently watched a video about missing children in India, and it broke my heart.

Recently, I've spent hours recording myself trying to speak in a language I've been learning. It was really hard but I had fun, and more importantly, SATISFACTION. I felt like I'd taken a small step toward my goal of being proficient, almost like I was playing a videogame (lol), where the time and effort you put in WILL eventually pay off, unlike real life. The days before that I felt miserable and depressed, but afterward my mood changed for the better. It's not the first time something like this happened to me. That's why I took the decision you read in the title.

Thank you for reading.

 

[franklyditto]

It always frustrating me how we can't just learn what we love, people will always say you have to learn in major that can make money I yook that suggestion and now i really miserable. I always love art but i know in my country art cantake that much money and it alway be look down by people. I really glad to see someone who chose another path that i didn't choose before and thank you for inspiring me may be i can try this and get better.

Ps.(Some)normies are suck!

 

[metrochan]

There's also a very good chance I won't even live for 6 years, because it really doesn't help that I am always alone and will most likely never again have friends. My mental health is a defining factor for the number of years I'll live before CTBing.

Again, my autism is a factor in this, but also the people of my age around me just have never been educated about autistic conditions, and most likely are not interested in doing so.

I've recently also read about other neurodivergent individuals and I became really fascinated with their stories. Specifically Terry Davis and Chris Chan. The former I do not agree with many of his ideas. However, he was called out for wasting his talent for working on a very peculiar and complex software. I really believe he was passionate about his work, and got a lot of satisfaction out of it. His mental health got him to the point where he had to live homeless, but he endured and did not care. That for me is also an inspiration to also resist if at some point I get kicked from my family's house (although I don't think I'll resist as much, I'm not the same as him).

The latter is not a perfect person, she made a lot of mistakes. However, she for me is an inspiration to not be afraid to be yourself as much as possible. For me, she was being serious in her conception of the world, and was not afraid to post her art even if it's not in the quality standards of society. Her art was probably too simple for people. But again, as Terry would say:

A genius admires simplicity.