emptywings
be nice
- Sep 6, 2026
- 10
i feel like i've had some really shitty moments in my life (like, genuinely traumatic ones), but overall it's been pretty decent. i made the friends i was supposed to make (lost them a long time ago), i have some really good memories with my family (not anymore), i had the chance to study what i actually wanted (fucked that up), and i'm with the love of my life. but lately i just feel like i've got nothing left in me. i'm not the person i used to be anymore. for a long ass time now, all i've done is treat people like shit, have horrible thoughts constantly fucking with my head, expect the worst from everyone, and cry every fkin day over shit that i literally make up in my own head bc i overthink everything way too much. my brain just won't give me a fkin break. it hurts being the person i am, and tbh i think that's why i treat my family like shit. they don't deserve any of this. every day they have to deal with my mood swings and shit, and they even joke about it bc they're so used to it by now. ik they don't really take me seriously, and ngl that hurts even more.
basically, i've thought a lot about just ending it all so people could remember me for the good parts instead. bc every time i try to fix things, i somehow end up sabotaging myself, digging myself into an even deeper hole, and hurting other people in the process. at the same time, i'm fkin terrified of failing and then having to deal with everything that comes after. . but i'm also scared of actually succeeding tbh
idk. i just feel so useless rn (:
basically, i've thought a lot about just ending it all so people could remember me for the good parts instead. bc every time i try to fix things, i somehow end up sabotaging myself, digging myself into an even deeper hole, and hurting other people in the process. at the same time, i'm fkin terrified of failing and then having to deal with everything that comes after. . but i'm also scared of actually succeeding tbh
idk. i just feel so useless rn (:
