Does the thought of dying make you feel sad or is it a relief?

[Kali999]

Both. Sad for how some of my family and friends will feel about my death. Sad I'll be leaving my beloved cats - my only true happiness now.

I'm also sad that I've lived most of my life unhappy and severely depressed. I was not able to accomplish what I wanted in my career because of my illness. As a result, I don't have much money. I see my peers being successful and it makes me more depressed.

I've never had a happy and healthy romantic relationship.

As I get older my future looks bleak - no children, no romantic relationship, not alot of money and soul crushing depression that always returns no matter how hard I try to deal with it.

It's a relief to me to think that my pain will be over and I won't have to worry any longer about being a failure. It makes me happy now that I won't have to think about growing old and getting sicker or what will I do for money to support myself. I don't have to worry about being alone and lonely. I won't have to watch people around me being happy and successful while I'm miserable. It will be a big fucking relief.

 

[zatoichi]

neither sad nor relieved. just a sense of tiresome anger towards myself. so many opportunities missed, so much love from friends and lovers betrayed . and what for?

 

[Zerengin96]

It makes me sad honestly, i think my life could have been different if i tackled my issues earlier

 

[DrWh033]

Only a relief. There is nothing I can blame myself for the situation I ended up into. Sure I ve done mistakes like all people, but physical injuries caused by malpractise of surgeons is nothing I could do to avoid.

 

[Symbiote]

Sad that I failed at life and that I gave up, hurt people, and somehow lack empathy. Relief that I won't hurt anyone else again.

 

[fishheye]

I am releif actually.
I have made peace with my life about what's gonna happen in a couple of weeks.
I find myself generally calmer now. I don't feel angry or resentment towards others anymore or even with myself. No regrets and no remorse.
I'm feeling even more relief now that I'm currently getting rid of my valuable possesions and left myself with bare minimum.
I'm also relief that I won't be affecting anyones life now that I've pretty much detached myself with friends and families.

 

[keitaro]

even though i think death will be a relief from my pain, since i think my consciousness will die with my body — and i also think that life is ultimately pointless — i think it's sad that the only permanent solution to suffering is to simply not exist. the universe is such a waste. if only we could somehow enjoy life without suffering. i sometimes envy those who seem to manage to frequently enjoy life (though i know everyone struggles), even though life is ultimately meaningless.

 

[Idontmatter]

I've gone from feeling sad about dying to feeling relieved and almost excited. I've decided it's the right time now.

 

[nopride86]

A bit of both.

I feel sad at times because there's so much I wanted to do with my life, but then I remember that the time for all of those things have passed anyway. So even if I were to live, and keep lying to myself out "hope", most of those things would never come to fruition AND I'd end up suffering for another 40+ years anyway.

I just want to be in my 80s already, enough of all the midlife bullshit. I want to pass in my sleep and be none the wiser. But I guarantee my elderly years will be shit too, so I need to get it over with now. That brings me relief.

 

[Shivali]

Death is a great comfort and the only consolation for me ...

 

[Ash’Girl]

The thought of continuing to live this pointless existence makes me sad, and terrified. The thought of dying makes me feel happy. No more pain.

It's the process of dying and the possibility of messing up an attempt so badly I'm incarcerated or incapacitated that worries me.

Also, my stupid SI, despite the endlessly intrusive thoughts of wishing to be dead, seems to want to keep interfering. I don't know why, because comparing a few minutes of struggle / discomfort with endless years of deep emptiness and / or pain, you would think it would be a no brainer to just get it over with.

 

[abyss]

Relief, I've humiliated myself for too long.

 

[PleaseTakeMeAway]

I'm sad because it means I'll never see my ex again. Yet I'm so happy I won't ruin anything anymore.

 

[NeverEndingPain]

I feel sad that it got to the point of being so bad that CTB was the only way to get relief

 

[notlongnow]

Sad but only because of the impact it will have on my family.

My workmate is a very spiritual person. Firm believer in the afterlife etc. I let him waffle on and take notes of his beliefs. Somewhat interesting and eases my anxiety on my departure somewhat. Will it act as a reliever when the time comes ... who knows.

 

[lionetta12]

I used to feel sad about it, and it would make me cry just thinking about it because it hurt to realise that this is what life has come to. But now for the past 3 weeks, I feel a sense of relief and calmness, I feel ready.

 

[TigerFestival]

Sad and relieved. Sad because death seems to be my only option of escaping this cruel unfair life, meanwhile there's others who get to live a happy and carefree life, which makes me that much more sad since I wasn't chosen to live a happy and carefree life. Relieved because once I die that's it, I won't be conscious for the rest of eternity and that means all of my problems will be exterminated, and seeing that I look forward to going to bed every night and hoping I don't wake up, I'm pretty certain that death is my answer.

 

[Lance Stone]

It is somewhat of a relief but more of a bittersweet one, the thought of dying seems like it will relieve my pain but the blissfulness is all I won't have.

 

[Astral Storm]

Relieved. The fact that I will die one day keeps me sane. I just don't want to do anything with this horrible world.

 

[Sky66]

Both

 

[Job Joad]

If dying equals eternal nothingness I'll take that as a relief.

 

[Lily (Osako)]

Both

 

[GhostNote]

It saddens me. I didn't have a great life, but before my illness 3 years ago I was with my children and a good father to them. They are all that matters to me.

 

[Krieger]

Really nothing at this point. Just numb.