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Pessimist

Pessimist

Mage
May 5, 2021
570
Basically "waiting" until they die. Personally I don't think there's a reason for me to stay alive after my mother dies.
 
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ketopia

ketopia

Missing my Mom
Jun 4, 2025
86
That was my passive plan for the last few years of my mom's life. She was so sick and needed a lot of help and I could never have done that to her. She's been gone over a year and I'm going to make my second attempt in a few days
 
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theboy

theboy

Illuminated
Jul 15, 2022
3,188
Sounds like waiting a long time
time
But it is a noble gesture
 
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NearlyIrrelevantCake

NearlyIrrelevantCake

The Cake Is A Lie
Aug 12, 2021
1,719
It wasn't intentional but hey they're already both dead so technically I will kill myself after they died.
 
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WakingNightmare

WakingNightmare

Member
May 1, 2025
46
Parents and also for my gf so I will be waiting a long time.
I feel like a slave, I don't even enjoy more than 15% of my time on this garbage planet
 
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Reactions: CTB Dream, cemeteryismyhome, Pessimist and 1 other person
N

nyctophilia

Member
Apr 22, 2025
37
At first, that was my plan, but thinking about how long that will take, I don't think I can wait for that long
 
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suacide

suacide

angel
Sep 13, 2023
27
My mother died 22 days ago. She was all I had left, so my plans are beginning. I can't live without her, but I didn't want to have her feel the pain of having to see me die first. My father will live, he has another daughter with a different woman. It'll hurt for a bit, but I know him. He'll be okay. My mother wouldn't have, just like I'll never be okay without her.
 
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N

NoPoint2Life

Why is this so hard?
Aug 31, 2024
730
When I was in my 20s, I just assumed that would be the case. I had no interest in living life and the future.
I am an only child. One parent is in good health and the other is not.
But I never considered how long they would live, how ill they could become, and that I would ever be here in my 40s. Who knew that CTB was so difficult??

Now there is mild panic because I know things are going downhill. I dread having to deal with everything once they are gone.

But ctb I have learned is so complicated. I honestly don't know if I would even have it in me to do. But a new recent concern is that now I have a ctb attempt history that everyone knows about. I know all eyes will be on me after they are gone.Everyone will be wondering if I'm OK and possibly worried about if I might hurt myself. I am a loner at heart so just the presence of people will drive me crazy. I kind of wonder if it will affect me and make me do something impulsive. At this point, I don't even know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
everything is just so complicated.
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
12,113
I'm waiting for my Dad. My biological Mum is already dead. On the one hand, I resent it. The emotional guilt instilled in us that we can't leave them. Even though it means they will leave us instead. On the other though, I can't move beyond it. I just feel stuck here for the time being.
 
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darksouls

darksouls

Mage
May 10, 2025
572
my family abused me
they are cold-hearted
they do not care
 
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ketopia

ketopia

Missing my Mom
Jun 4, 2025
86
My mother died 22 days ago. She was all I had left, so my plans are beginning. I can't live without her, but I didn't want to have her feel the pain of having to see me die first. My father will live, he has another daughter with a different woman. It'll hurt for a bit, but I know him. He'll be okay. My mother wouldn't have, just like I'll never be okay without her.
I'm so sorry. There's no pain like it </3
 
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Pessimist

Pessimist

Mage
May 5, 2021
570
Parents and also for my gf so I will be waiting a long time.
I feel like a slave, I don't even enjoy more than 15% of my time on this garbage planet
I feel the same way. I don't have a girlfriend tho (I'm too socially anxious for that).
 
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B

bananaolympus

Specialist
Dec 12, 2024
319
Absolutely ctb asap when that happens
 
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bankai

bankai

Enlightened
Mar 16, 2025
1,533
Actually, I wanted to ctb before my mother dies. Simply because she'll be the only one to really mourn me. That being said, I'm not actually that cruel. I'll probably wait till she passes on and do it probably the next day😁
 
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Reactions: CTB Dream, grauzone and cemeteryismyhome
SchizoGymnast

SchizoGymnast

Specialist
May 28, 2024
369
I promised my parents I would care for them no matter what and I intend to keep my promise. After that? My parents are the only people who knew me, who knew what I looked like, what I sounded like, who have memories of me, before I was 21. Once they're gone I may as well be anonymous.
 
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Reactions: CTB Dream, Pessimist and cemeteryismyhome
VoidButterfly

VoidButterfly

Flitterby
May 17, 2025
87
I've really tried to. I've told countless mental health professionals that I need some purpose other than just waiting for family members to die. I've reached the point I can't do that anymore, but it's been my passive suicidal plan for most of my life.
 
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H

Hollowman

Empty
Dec 14, 2021
1,755
Yes, that's been my plan for years. I'm beyond tired of waiting though.
 
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W

WatchmeBurn

Student
Apr 26, 2023
129
This is my current plan. I'm going to try my best until then and if I'm not happy by then I'll kill myself (it'll be a fair few years still).

It's getting harder and harder to hold out every day, though.
 
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cemeteryismyhome

cemeteryismyhome

Wizard
Mar 15, 2025
633
I sympathize with the sentiment. My problem is I have a wife and adult kids, so waiting for people to die is not really an option. Otherwise, when my ancient parents finally die, then yes. I feel trapped.
 
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Reactions: CTB Dream, Pessimist and davidtorez
T

tulero

Member
Mar 20, 2025
35
not gonna wait that longer. That could be 5 years, 10 years or how knows

its selfish, but it has to
 
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K

Kanoh

Member
Dec 31, 2024
51
If I won't do it earlier then 100% I do it the next day my mother dies. Aa for my father, I don't care.
 
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TheVanishingPoint

TheVanishingPoint

Member
May 20, 2025
63
No, I don't think I'll wait for my parents to die 🌑⏳
Every moment is the right one — or the wrong one… but still the moment 🕰️💭
I'm here… and not here 🌫️👤
Who can really say when it will happen? 🪐🎭🌌
Maybe it'll be a breath, a crack, a silent step into the mist 🚶‍♂️🌫️🍂
Meanwhile, life flows… or crumbles ⏳🌊🍃
I watch, I listen, I breathe — and I let it happen 🌙🕊️💫
 
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Pessimist

Pessimist

Mage
May 5, 2021
570
If I won't do it earlier then 100% I do it the next day my mother dies. Aa for my father, I don't care.
My father isn't abusive and I appreciate a lot of things he does for me. But we do argue a lot and he gets very angry at me. I basically think that both him and my sister are immoral fascists. It's hard for me to say that I truly love them nowadays.
 
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