• ⚠️ UK Access Block Notice: Beginning July 1, 2025, this site will no longer be accessible from the United Kingdom. This is a voluntary decision made by the site's administrators. We were not forced or ordered to implement this block.

Pessimist

Pessimist

Mage
May 5, 2021
598
Basically "waiting" until they die. Personally I don't think there's a reason for me to stay alive after my mother dies.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: BlooBerryBanjo3000, CTB Dream, Carrot and 10 others
ketopia

ketopia

Missing my Mom
Jun 4, 2025
84
That was my passive plan for the last few years of my mom's life. She was so sick and needed a lot of help and I could never have done that to her. She's been gone over a year and I'm going to make my second attempt in a few days
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
  • Aww..
Reactions: CTB Dream, davidtorez, Joarga and 5 others
theboy

theboy

Illuminated
Jul 15, 2022
3,283
Sounds like waiting a long time
time
But it is a noble gesture
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: CTB Dream and darksouls
NearlyIrrelevantCake

NearlyIrrelevantCake

The Cake Is A Lie
Aug 12, 2021
1,860
It wasn't intentional but hey they're already both dead so technically I will kill myself after they died.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: CTB Dream, J&L383 and darksouls
WakingNightmare

WakingNightmare

Member
May 1, 2025
57
Parents and also for my gf so I will be waiting a long time.
I feel like a slave, I don't even enjoy more than 15% of my time on this garbage planet
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: CTB Dream, cemeteryismyhome, Pessimist and 1 other person
N

nyctophilia

Member
Apr 22, 2025
37
At first, that was my plan, but thinking about how long that will take, I don't think I can wait for that long
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: CTB Dream, cemeteryismyhome, itwillhappensoon and 1 other person
suacide

suacide

angel
Sep 13, 2023
27
My mother died 22 days ago. She was all I had left, so my plans are beginning. I can't live without her, but I didn't want to have her feel the pain of having to see me die first. My father will live, he has another daughter with a different woman. It'll hurt for a bit, but I know him. He'll be okay. My mother wouldn't have, just like I'll never be okay without her.
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: CTB Dream, cemeteryismyhome, Joarga and 4 others
NoPoint2Life

NoPoint2Life

Why is this so hard?
Aug 31, 2024
792
When I was in my 20s, I just assumed that would be the case. I had no interest in living life and the future.
I am an only child. One parent is in good health and the other is not.
But I never considered how long they would live, how ill they could become, and that I would ever be here in my 40s. Who knew that CTB was so difficult??

Now there is mild panic because I know things are going downhill. I dread having to deal with everything once they are gone.

But ctb I have learned is so complicated. I honestly don't know if I would even have it in me to do. But a new recent concern is that now I have a ctb attempt history that everyone knows about. I know all eyes will be on me after they are gone.Everyone will be wondering if I'm OK and possibly worried about if I might hurt myself. I am a loner at heart so just the presence of people will drive me crazy. I kind of wonder if it will affect me and make me do something impulsive. At this point, I don't even know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
everything is just so complicated.
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: CTB Dream, cemeteryismyhome, Zlo and 3 others
F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
12,418
I'm waiting for my Dad. My biological Mum is already dead. On the one hand, I resent it. The emotional guilt instilled in us that we can't leave them. Even though it means they will leave us instead. On the other though, I can't move beyond it. I just feel stuck here for the time being.
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: CTB Dream, cemeteryismyhome, Pessimist and 1 other person
darksouls

darksouls

Paragon
May 10, 2025
956
my family abused me
they are cold-hearted
they do not care
 
  • Aww..
  • Hugs
Reactions: CTB Dream, cemeteryismyhome, Pessimist and 2 others
ketopia

ketopia

Missing my Mom
Jun 4, 2025
84
My mother died 22 days ago. She was all I had left, so my plans are beginning. I can't live without her, but I didn't want to have her feel the pain of having to see me die first. My father will live, he has another daughter with a different woman. It'll hurt for a bit, but I know him. He'll be okay. My mother wouldn't have, just like I'll never be okay without her.
I'm so sorry. There's no pain like it </3
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: CTB Dream, cemeteryismyhome and Pessimist
Pessimist

Pessimist

Mage
May 5, 2021
598
Parents and also for my gf so I will be waiting a long time.
I feel like a slave, I don't even enjoy more than 15% of my time on this garbage planet
I feel the same way. I don't have a girlfriend tho (I'm too socially anxious for that).
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: CTB Dream, cemeteryismyhome and WakingNightmare
bananaolympus

bananaolympus

Specialist
Dec 12, 2024
344
Absolutely ctb asap when that happens
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: CTB Dream
bankai

bankai

Visionary
Mar 16, 2025
2,099
Actually, I wanted to ctb before my mother dies. Simply because she'll be the only one to really mourn me. That being said, I'm not actually that cruel. I'll probably wait till she passes on and do it probably the next day😁
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: CTB Dream, grauzone and cemeteryismyhome
SchizoGymnast

SchizoGymnast

Mage
May 28, 2024
576
I promised my parents I would care for them no matter what and I intend to keep my promise. After that? My parents are the only people who knew me, who knew what I looked like, what I sounded like, who have memories of me, before I was 21. Once they're gone I may as well be anonymous.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: CTB Dream, Pessimist and cemeteryismyhome
VoidButterfly

VoidButterfly

Flitterby
May 17, 2025
98
I've really tried to. I've told countless mental health professionals that I need some purpose other than just waiting for family members to die. I've reached the point I can't do that anymore, but it's been my passive suicidal plan for most of my life.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: CTB Dream, Pessimist and cemeteryismyhome
H

Hollowman

Empty
Dec 14, 2021
1,848
Yes, that's been my plan for years. I'm beyond tired of waiting though.
 
  • Like
  • Love
  • Hugs
Reactions: CTB Dream, Pessimist, davidtorez and 1 other person
W

WatchmeBurn

Student
Apr 26, 2023
145
This is my current plan. I'm going to try my best until then and if I'm not happy by then I'll kill myself (it'll be a fair few years still).

It's getting harder and harder to hold out every day, though.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: CTB Dream, Pessimist, davidtorez and 1 other person
cemeteryismyhome

cemeteryismyhome

Warlock
Mar 15, 2025
732
I sympathize with the sentiment. My problem is I have a wife and adult kids, so waiting for people to die is not really an option. Otherwise, when my ancient parents finally die, then yes. I feel trapped.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: CTB Dream, Pessimist and davidtorez
gojidoge

gojidoge

Member
May 25, 2025
53
100% if I haven't already ctb
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: CTB Dream and Pessimist
T

tulero

Member
Mar 20, 2025
87
not gonna wait that longer. That could be 5 years, 10 years or how knows

its selfish, but it has to
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: CTB Dream
K

Kanoh

Member
Dec 31, 2024
59
If I won't do it earlier then 100% I do it the next day my mother dies. Aa for my father, I don't care.
 
  • Aww..
  • Hugs
Reactions: CTB Dream and Pessimist
TheVanishingPoint

TheVanishingPoint

Student
May 20, 2025
139
No, I don't think I'll wait for my parents to die 🌑⏳
Every moment is the right one — or the wrong one… but still the moment 🕰️💭
I'm here… and not here 🌫️👤
Who can really say when it will happen? 🪐🎭🌌
Maybe it'll be a breath, a crack, a silent step into the mist 🚶‍♂️🌫️🍂
Meanwhile, life flows… or crumbles ⏳🌊🍃
I watch, I listen, I breathe — and I let it happen 🌙🕊️💫
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: CTB Dream
Pessimist

Pessimist

Mage
May 5, 2021
598
If I won't do it earlier then 100% I do it the next day my mother dies. Aa for my father, I don't care.
My father isn't abusive and I appreciate a lot of things he does for me. But we do argue a lot and he gets very angry at me. I basically think that both him and my sister are immoral fascists. It's hard for me to say that I truly love them nowadays.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: CTB Dream

Similar threads

L
Replies
38
Views
1K
Suicide Discussion
thelement115
T
L
Replies
4
Views
165
Recovery
TBONTB
T
Misanthrope0000
Replies
5
Views
286
Suicide Discussion
SomedayorNexttime
S
dollangel
Replies
4
Views
202
Suicide Discussion
Tinyhands
Tinyhands
N
Replies
2
Views
172
Suicide Discussion
hedezev4
hedezev4