I dont want to share my reasons why, i have reasons to feel this way, but i feel life isn't for me. I feel like im being tortured and my only way out is through something terrifying and painful. Im afraid to be honest about how badly i want to die because it means admitting how afraid i am to go through with it.
I started self harming again after being clean a while and i was thinking id practise until i was strong enough to slit my wrists, i have the urge to slit my wrists and bleed out, but then i saw on here that apparently its not a very much guaranteed method. Anything else terrifies me but cutting im used to already. Im just scared and alone and i wish i had a way out..i wish suicide didnt mean dying alone and i wish people would understand that the idea of me being given a way out would be a good thing and i wish it didnt have to happen alone. Im not going to work anymore ive given up. They can fire me, i only want more reason to be pushed to do it. I dont want to get better i jsut want to be pushed further into this until i finally pluck up the courage to go through with it. I feel im meant to die
I started self harming again after being clean a while and i was thinking id practise until i was strong enough to slit my wrists, i have the urge to slit my wrists and bleed out, but then i saw on here that apparently its not a very much guaranteed method. Anything else terrifies me but cutting im used to already. Im just scared and alone and i wish i had a way out..i wish suicide didnt mean dying alone and i wish people would understand that the idea of me being given a way out would be a good thing and i wish it didnt have to happen alone. Im not going to work anymore ive given up. They can fire me, i only want more reason to be pushed to do it. I dont want to get better i jsut want to be pushed further into this until i finally pluck up the courage to go through with it. I feel im meant to die
