Venting Does anyone else feel like a child?

[mathieu]

I feel like a teenager in a lot of ways. I'm irresponsible, just want to get drunk and high and have sex. Don't work (on disability) and no where near the maturity level of my peers who are working and having children. But I also feel really old. Tired and ready to go to sleep forever.

 

[Deleted member 18655]

Ugh. I'm almost 50, have PTSD from sexual abuse and still have a teddy bear.

I've had it since I was about 14 and, since Lockdown and losing my job, have been clutching it almost non-stop. Pathetic, but it's the only constant thing in my life that I've always been able to count on - that can't hurt me or leave me or judge me.

If I could hang myself holding it, I would.

I feel like did when I was about 7 or 8. Such a freak!

 

[Justinian]

and still have a teddy bear

Sorry for what you've experienced.

I have a teddy bear as well and it's huge. Almost as tall as myself and every night I sleep cuddling it. ♥

 

[voyager (D)]

Ugh. I'm almost 50, have PTSD from sexual abuse and still have a teddy bear.

I am 55. I have not been abused, but I have several teddy bears that I love very much. Don't worry, that's a good thing.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I'm 37. Sometimes I can need exceptionally mature and present myself with the air of someone much more experienced in life. But really, I feel like I'm a perpetual adolescent... 13-16 years old. I think it's because I never really got to experience a real adolescence. My sexuality was repressed. I started university at 16 and the lead-up to it was focused on just doing well in school. I wish I had those years back.

 

[Silenos]

During a 3 month stay at a mental clinic one of the sociotherapists basically told me I hadn't gone through actual puberty yet. The emotional part that is. She said I was acting out like an adolescent would, because I never got to experience puberty like I should have.

I'm 30 now, but I still feel like I'm behind in many ways. In general I have no idea how to 'adult'.

 

[agentgeez]

I find it difficult to distinguish between actual 'maturity' and what society just wants you to do because it's how things are or because it serves the system. Frankly any child-like beliefs I have, I hang on to for dear life as it's the only thing reminiscent of what I thought humanity to be; these beliefs uplift me instead of inspiring dread like my fellow 'adults' like to. Any childish behaviours I might still have don't embarrass me because even if they make me a helpless person, it's a consequence of an unfortunate turn of events to put it simply, and they otherwise make me feel more human in a world that expects you to be almost mechanically well put-together. I can't be shamed by people who don't understand me or why I am the way I am, because if they don't understand then their insults don't make sense, much like how jokes don't work without a logical set-up or premise.