Does anybody else here genuinely not have any friends?

[pixie]

none. i'm content with this

 

[swedishcw]

friends don't usually feel like friends to me

 

[lionetta12]

I was just curious if anybody here can relate. I have been to multiple depression forums and suicide chat rooms before, and I noticed that most of these people are quite normal. People would always mention that the reason they'd never commit suicide is because of friends and family, and seeing that over and over would make me feel really terrible inside. I wonder if anyone here understands what it's like to have nobody.

I've only ever known 2 people who genuinly didn't have any real friends which was 2 of my exes. They were very narcissistic people so I started realising why they pushed people away all the time over time. Was a sad situation to see and be in, because they'd abuse and use others and brag about it so much, then wonder why their friends didn't like them, withdrew and talked bad about them behind their backs to me and others. Tried hard to help but they really didn't want to change or improve the situations in any way.

 

[BornHated]

I'm weird because I have a few people I'd even like to grow closer to, but I've grown jaded and paranoid over time. The type of abuse I went through and witnessed from my own home environment just... left me hyper-aware as to the capacity of human evil. There's people who I genuinely would like to reach out to and they seem to reach out to me as well, but I'm so mentally tired of my daily survival routine- I have no support system. So it's a matter of mental energy and time for me that's caused me to let some friendships erode, aside from figuring out the worsening intentions of some older friends that led me to cut contact.

Also adding that I haven't fought this tendency because I'm scared to grow too close to someone and either hesitate to CTB when I should or decide to do it and actually leave someone hurting. My mother's not gonna miss me for me, she's gonna miss the convenience of me lol.

 

[aSilentVoice]

Not any close ones. Part of me wishes we were closer, but since we're not, it will hopefully hurt less when I'm gone.

 

[Tartuffe]

I don't, I thought I did but in life's big moments I was always not invited to certain things, kind of let me know where I stood. Just don't get why they're chatty when I see them, I don't even engage in small talk now. With depression they always say speak to a friend, that's the hard bit for me lol

 

[zhongnanhai]

i don't have friends now & i never really have. i have my sisters, and i love them dearly and spend all the time with them i can. in about an hour i'm actually picking one of them up from work and we're going to hang out, so i'm not totally alone in life. that said, i've had social anxiety since i was little and i've always been painfully shy. when i was in school i only had 'friends' when outgoing kids would randomly decide they liked me and would follow me around until i relented to being their friend. i felt more like a pet or a zoo animal though. those friendships dissolved as soon as their interest in me did. never had much luck with online friends either, they just always lose contact. oh well, i swear my brain is wired to not rely on social stimulus as much. i've gone 8 years without friends & avoiding social interaction at work and don't feel too lonely.

i actually do like being around people when the initial, "i'm the dumbest, most pathetic person they've ever met" anxiety wears off. i daydream about having friends or a big, strong cute bf lol, but i put zero effort into meeting people and the thought of putting myself out there is terrifying.

 

[19nitten]

i think that i have maybe 3 friends, but they all would definitely do not consider me as one back. some times i walk past them in the halls and they completely ignore me, they only talk to me occasionally when i'm the only one to talk to, so i guess so?? but maybe not. i'm so alone i seriously spend most of my time out side of school playing minesweeper or on omegle (the video one) and i have so much time on my hands i seriously buy a puzzle and do it over and over till my arms get tired, i sit in the bathroom for lunch or go to the library, and talk to absolutely nobody, not even my teachers most of the time. i'm undeniably a loser xd

 

[Notforlong]

I have a group of around 15, but I barely see them anymore due to depression and other mental health problems.

 

[Darkover]

i've been a loner all my life

 

[BBBB]

None at all. My last one and the person who I was the closest to, recently manipulated and took advantage of me. So I'm completely alone now

Me too!

 

[Gloom]

I truly have no one who actually gives a shit about me. and they should because I don't provide much, there isn't substance in my words. just a forgettable background character, it motivates me to ctb. honestly if I learned to even just make friends online (like here) I don't think I would ctb. i don't see it happening tho, I'm too sensitive for that.

 

[katara]

I don't have any friends! Never have. I was discouraged from making friends growing up, punished for it when I tried, and most people could sense that something was "off" from a mile away anyway. Then, I just never had the right skills as an adult.

I've always managed to have a boyfriend though….for a long time I thought that counted but it just doesn't. It also became a breeding ground for codependency and enmeshment. I think I'm actually Ace, but I learned very young that the closest I can get to friendship is if I offer my body first.

I feel like I've missed some part of the human experience. I watch shows with many seasons, so the characters become like friends to me. Same with bands that I've listened to for years. I have no desire to have a real friendship anymore, it seems like too much maintenance. I don't even want a relationship with my family, but as long as they're around, I don't have the mental and emotional bandwidth to let anyone else in. Unless I CTB, that means at least another 30 years of their shit. I'm struggling as it is to make sure my partner feels valued, there's barely room for him as it is.

So TL:DR can't miss what you never had. But in moments of clarity, it's pretty damn sad.

Same I wasn't encouraged to be friendly with people, but I still was anyways. It didn't pay off at all though. I've never had a boyfriend but my last "friend" left me after she got a boyfriend so I have no idea what to do now. Btw I like the little plant in your profile pic, I'd love to have some indoor plants sense I'm all alone inside like a freak with nothing else to do. I'm not sure if I desire friendship if I know the person will just leave me when I'm not emotionally needed anymore. I honestly crave love/intimacy more then anything so when people treat me like shit I don't know what to do. It feels like being nice to people was a mistake and it confuses me. Like I seriously have no idea what people want from me. Clearly my kindness isn't enough, and that makes me sad. When I was a kid all I wanted was to make the world a better place :(

 

[watchingthewheels]

I'm estranged from my abusive family, and my one good friend has moved on, without me. (The other "friends" I did have I found I could not trust or were betrayed by them.) I just have online "friends", at this point, who I've never met in person, and two high school friends in other states who I haven't seen since, well, high school. But none I'm in physical contact with. And honestly, after finding out the truth about my family, and being betrayed by "friends", I'm not exactly eager to try and make new ones. My heart's been done in.

Revisiting this thread, and my comment, in relation to my new job, and...I wish the result was different, but it's not. It's not as if the people there have done anything bad towards me, though, but they haven't gone out of their way to make me feel welcome, either. (Even the people who are supposed to be training me and asking questions are rather curt and abrupt about it, which is simply unprofessional...) Maybe they can sense something is off? But, to be fair to them, I don't think it's personal; it's a very quiet workplace, small, and most just keep to themselves to begin with. But it's also kind of "cold", as well. (Well, except for the gratuitious cursing in conversations when people actually do talk, which is kinda unusual for an office environment like this...) But at the same time, I'm kind of glad, because I don't want to be let down by anyone else, at this point, or even get attached to someone if I'm going to CTB soon, anyway. And I'm personally too hyper-vigilant towards people right now, scanning every remark, along with being socially anxious to begin with, that I don't want to project the people from my past onto them unfairly. (Or, if they are like that, then I simply don't want to know.)

 

[BBBB]

No friends; no family. No one

 

[RaspberriesLL]

I have one good friend. I've always had acquaintances (like at work) but it seems like no one really wants to be close friends with me. I vividly remember lunch time in high school was always such a high anxiety moment for me, as I tried to find a place to sit.

If you ever want someone to talk to let me know.

 

[Ifonlyitwassosimple]

Social anxiety has always made it hard for me to make friends. So I've never really had any.

 

[sleeping.tree]

I have no friends but not by choice.

 

[BBBB]

I have no friends but not by choice.

Same!

 

[The Abyss]

Only thing tethering me is my dad, other than that nobody.

The joys of autism.

 

[AerialBoundaries]

I have 1 friend that I see somewhat frequently, but we've known each other our whole lives and we grew up on the same street.

Some friends I hadn't been in contact with for nearly a decade got in touch with me shortly after New Year and we met up a couple of weeks ago. I honestly felt terrible afterwards. Seeing how much they've moved forward with their lives, whilst I'm still the same guy from 10 years ago, really made me feel a lot worse about myself.

My anecdote, of course and I'm not discouraging people to seek out friends.

 

[squidhead]

Oh yes. I dont have any friends of any type, acquaintances, work colleagues, connections, etc. Never did even in high school or school or kindergarten.

I just drift through life with no aspirations/goals waiting for the end or the courage to end it myself.

Anyway, on the bright side, if one does manage to end it in this situation... no one will be left behind to miss said person or be left hurting. Well, maybe not a bright side but not a con either, right.

 

[SilentSuicidal]

Zero. None. I really only have myself really.

 

[enditplz]

I only have my spouse. Zero friends or family.

 

[snowman626]

i wish i had nothing, then CTB would be an easy decision. the worst thing is to have just enough of an attachment to keep you here, but not enough to make you happy in life.

 

[MlKE]

No, never had any. I can't connect with others or have any social exchanges other than the usual greetings and maybe some idle talk. I don't want any friends now either, I don't have the energy to be there for anyone, and I don't want anyone to put up with me. I'm in a bad mood and would make for terrible company if I didn't make a huge effort not to and that would be both tiring and deceitful.
I think the window of opportunity to not be a spiteful loner closed years ago.

 

[lofticries]

I have 0 friends online and irl which doesn't bother me anymore considering I don't have to worry about more ppls' reaction to me ctb.

 

[katara]

friends don't usually feel like friends to me

Ya I hear you, my last friend left me after she got a bf, I don't know how to feel. If someone leaves me right after she gets a bf, some guy who she just met, how should I feel about this? It seems like nobody actually sees me as a friend, so it's just a one way friendship. I give my energy out and get nothing back, I don't think this is how friendship should feel. I tried online dating but came to the same roadblock. All of the men just wanted to hook up, none were interested in an actual relationship. I don't know if it's a vibe i give off or what. Sorry if you've had similar experiences, feel free to message me if you ever want to chat. Maybe we could be online friends if we relate on other things.

 

[brokenpersi]

I have few friends male and female. But it aint helpin when you are empty inside. I just try to pretend in front of them someting that ist even true. Thats why im isolating more and more.

 

[katara]

I have 0 friends online and irl which doesn't bother me anymore considering I don't have to worry about more ppls' reaction to me ctb.

Ya I think i've gotten to the point where it doesn't bother me as much, I just can't forget the way people have treated me and the way it's made me a worse person. When I thought I had a friend and actually didn't, stuff like that just makes me view the world much differently. I wish I would've never encountered the people I did. Maybe I'd be more hopeful, but maybe that would be bad, because I'd be ignorant of how evil most of humanity really is.