I don't go out and see people either so I'm with you on that. Although I have tried with online friends, I live in a small town so it wouldn't matter if I went out anyways sense there's not much to do around me except old people. The reason why I started being inside more is partially BECAUSE of where I live. But I can't afford to live alone so things will probably never change. I also relate on the social skills thing, I remember receiving a gift book when I was like 12 that was about how to make friends. I felt so embarrassed receiving it because it made me realize everyone around me can see it. I even had an elementary school teacher point out that I was always alone at recess. Looking back it surprises me that the meanest kids in class had friends, the ones starting drama had friends, yet I didn't. Stuff like that still bothers me, because I realize it's not a kid thing, it's a people thing. Most people are like that, except nowadays people love pretending they are "lonely, depressed, and friendless" when none of them are. That shit is what really gets under my skin.
That reminds me of when a teacher had us build a chair circle in class. This was solely because some of my classmates noticed I would spend most of my breaks in the toilet (because standing alone outside waiting for the break to be over led to everyone staring at me and making fun of me). The teacher wanted me to explain in front of the whole class why I would do that, why I had no friends. One of the most embarassing moments in my life
You do now, as I consider you a really good friend. You are a very thoughtful and kind soul; your post says that loud and very clear.
It sounds like you are the backup friend? I've had that happen to me before too. A girl I was school friends with only wanted to hang out when her actual friends were busy. I remember how hurt I felt when I realized this. Eventually I moved so I lost touch with her after that. It's not like she'd care to keep talking with me sense she can't use me anymore :( But stuff like that stays with me because I had something like that happen again. It's made me paranoid and for so long I wondered what I was doing wrong. I always blamed myself. Not sure if you can relate, but if you can, I'm open to talking sometime if you'd ever like to try and be online friends. Feel free to send me a dm if want.
no. I am her only friend. too she has no life either, but busy with her kids. I have no kids so understandable the priorities are different
That is super awkward, I can't imagine my teacher saying what she said to me in class in front of everyone. Sorry that what i said brought back that memory. You can definitely tell which teachers were the cool kids back when they were in school by the way they treat certain students. I had another teacher who gave me a low grade for participation, I ended up finding out this hurt my grades overall, even though I was doing the work, the loudest and most annoying boy in class had better grades then me just because of PaRtiCipation. One time him and his friends even got the whole class in trouble because they wouldn't shut up while a documentary was playing in class. We couldn't even hear it, and the teacher was so biased towards the popular kids that everyone got in trouble instead of just that group being the loudest. Stuff like that you can never forget, those teachers are the WORST.
