19 here, I have always felt excluded from other people since kindergarten. I never made friends, and for most of my childhood, my lack of friends didn't bother me. The few people I could ever call "friends" ended up betraying me and bullying me nonstop. All the other kids would ignore me and never talk to me. It was as if I didn't exist to the world, and if I did, then I was a contemptible piece of shit who needed to be bullied.
This continued on for so many years. I joined my school's science olympiad team in 7th grade, and it was only at the end of the year I learned they had a group chat for chit-chat. The only time I made friends I really valued was in 8th grade, but in 9th grade (2020) they betrayed me and ostracized me. Ever since then, I have felt very lonely. It feels like people are inherently neglectful and could care less about me.
Nowadays, I just crave being loved. I wish there was somebody who would love me and value me and see me as their #1 person. But what happens if I go outside? Literally nobody gives a shit. You are alone in this world. You are trapped in your own head. You will never get close to anyone.
This continued on for so many years. I joined my school's science olympiad team in 7th grade, and it was only at the end of the year I learned they had a group chat for chit-chat. The only time I made friends I really valued was in 8th grade, but in 9th grade (2020) they betrayed me and ostracized me. Ever since then, I have felt very lonely. It feels like people are inherently neglectful and could care less about me.
Nowadays, I just crave being loved. I wish there was somebody who would love me and value me and see me as their #1 person. But what happens if I go outside? Literally nobody gives a shit. You are alone in this world. You are trapped in your own head. You will never get close to anyone.
