Do you WANT to CTB, or do you feel like you HAVE to CTB?

[OnlyTheWind]

Call me crazy, but I want to die and the thought of having to wait through years of potential suffering only to get the same result disgusts me. Hopefully I get a better brain in my next incarnation.

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

I think I just like the idea of choosing to die, instead of waiting around like a clown for it to happen.
I don't want to be mother nature's bitch, I want mother nature to be my bitch. I want to go out on my terms!

Love the energy.

 

[Hurt]

Want

 

[deadverysoon]

100% HAVE to. I was systematically brought in my situation. There will never be a chance for a good life for me. Because these things never can be fixed without a huge amount of money and lawyers. So 100% HAVE to. I really got killed.

 

[NasiGoreng]

I feel like I have to, I dont want to stay around miserable anymore. Its also to late to fix anything, and im broken down.

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

I feel like I have to, I dont want to stay around miserable anymore. Its also to late to fix anything, and im broken down.

Sorry about that .

 

[deadverysoon]

I feel like I have to, I dont want to stay around miserable anymore. Its also to late to fix anything, and im broken down.

wish you the best. i know what you mean.

 

[Snake of Eden]

I have to. I don't want to. I fucked up my life so badly and there is no way to fix it other than CTB. Its the only way to make things right for the people I've wronged.

I am exactly in the same position as you

 

[Anonymous1997ES]

Thought I had to die, because I was so consumed with grief and despair that I could not see another possibility...

Surviving... Opened up my mind a lot, and gave me strength to reconnect with others and apologize to them as well...

Before I had like 6 people as friends in various degrees, now, I think I may have at least 2-4 back as well, some as casual friends, and one I'm working on to repair our relationship with.

 

[deadverysoon]

I have to. I don't want to. I fucked up my life so badly and there is no way to fix it other than CTB. Its the only way to make things right for the people I've wronged.

sometimes we have no other choice to act like we do. i think its a lie that we chose to hurt others. some people do, but in the most cases its because we are really forced into because of this ugly system. and instead of giving people the ability to fix it they will always bring you down and that is causing this ugly circle of madness.

 

[WatermelonMel]

I have no choice but to CTB, my inevitably fucked hopeless future is coming.

 

[Lady black]

A part of me wants to do it, and the point where I have to do it comes closer, I clearly feel that

 

[fox_wannabe]

Def. want but can't. I am used to having bipolar and suffering. I am still living out of empathy for family, this and having sick gains in the gym.
Some days are good, but some make me want to die and make others not worth waiting for.

 

[WrongPlaceWrongTime]

Want to for sure. Stress and piling up responsibilities for another 30 years seems nightmarish.

 

[A_miStake_of_NATURE]

Have to, need to, want to.

 

[Risperdead]

Myself, I get a lot of intrusive thoughts, telling me to do it.

That I have to do it, even though at the time I may not be feeling like doing it.

I have a dual diagnosis of EUPD/BPD and OCD, so this could explain some of it. However, I have received zero help from the mental health "service" and I have become addicted to overdosing. I just love it.

So how about you? Do you really want to die, or is it more a case of you thinking that you have to die?

Maybe you are also a Targeted Individual and experiencing Voice to Skull or Subliminal Messages. Psychiatry is fraud, no science involved. Say to yourself before bed and every time you have negative thoughts: I will only react to constructive suggestions! check targetedjustice.com and stay alive. To answer your question, for me i am about to ctb for a forced psychatric treatment which left me with zombie syndrome and major depression at least. Furthermore i am in severe pain and do not get along with conventional painkillers for their side effects and my health insurance does everything to not pay for my doctors prescribed cannabis therapy. And yes, the Targeted Individual issue. So want to and have to.

 

[wanttodie]

I want to die want my life to be over sick of living

 

[miminkpo]

It's just like dying feels like the last thing left for me. I don't necessarily want death. If everything would magically fix itself, it would be okay. If I stopped feeling anything, like a robot, that would be also okay. If I could just vanish, become thin air... that would be perfect. I sometimes imagine myself being a beam of light, or a leaf fluttering in the wind. I'd love to be formless, unconciuous, unfeeling... just, void. Empty space.

 

[Randomgin]

It's both for me. I feel that I was never meant for this world, so I feel that I must die to be free, and in that feeling I also want death

 

[CoolGuy9]

I want to ctb. Nothing is telling me to do it; If I were to ask people around me, they would instantly tell me to not to do it. It's just that I'm so lonely and incompetent that my life sucks and I' too stupid and lazy to fix anything and ctb'ing is the one thing giving me some hope and control so I really want to do it soon.

 

[upthedownescalatorr]

I have to. I want to live and be able to enjoy life but circumstances outside my control have made that impossible.

 

[Deepjoy]

Both for me