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F

fitoo5999

Experienced
Jul 23, 2026
284
Do you know? Were they young? Old?
 
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Gild-Holm-’Ur

Gild-Holm-’Ur

Ghost of relationships past
Jun 28, 2026
156
A friend of mine did PSH (?) when she was in her mid 20's. It haunts me that I had missed a facebook message from her and didn't see it until after she died.
 
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MeSauce

MeSauce

Armchair Philosopher
Jun 1, 2023
181
Not super personal but I was in a discord server with someone who shot himself with a shotgun on livestream. I wasn't in the livestream and didn't see it, but apparently two members were encouraging him to do it. Extremely fucked situation. I think he would have done it regardless, but the fact they encouraged him to do so was chilling. The members who encouraged it were also the owners of the server and deleted the server around 12 hours later, and one person who was in the livestream while it was happening was being charged(so the rumor goes).
I was friends with him on discord and his death hit me really hard and kinda snowballed me to where I am now. I don't know his age but he looked to be in his 20s. He was a skinny white guy, very pale. Super depressed and did some of the worst self harm I have ever seen(gaping thigh wound 7 inches long). I miss him. Some people who know about this situation might be reading this message. It was fampir, iykyk
 
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discernment

discernment

Student
Aug 11, 2026
110
My mum, she was 54
 
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Reactions: telekon, Joarga, Gild-Holm-’Ur and 1 other person
hooman57

hooman57

kill me
Aug 13, 2026
30
in my later school years one of my childhood friends (wasnt toooo close but still) shot himself in his home and it was pretty rough for all my other friends and stuff
 
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fluorescentpearl

fluorescentpearl

Stirb nicht vor mir
Jul 19, 2026
705
My first boyfriend (he was 17 I think) killed himself on call with me, then my best friend(she was 14) at the time killed herself, then my mother attempted a few times and survived, my great-uncle technically could count as a suicide, then I lost another 2 friends to suicide (one was 18 and one was 25),then I lost a mentor to suicide as well (he was 42)
I never asked for methods because frankly the grief was too strong
 
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khora

khora

Member
Jul 17, 2023
45
There used to be a boy who lived across the street (i still live here) while i was in elementary school i think - he was in highschool at the time.
One night he managed to take his life by hanging himself as the story goes.
I never knew them personally, only that he had blue hair coincedently like me while i was in middleschol and that he was in band.
supposedly he was gay too - which was the rumor, possibly bullied - maybe the reality behind the situation was much more than anyone realized..
I only knew that they had lived there and that it happened and i somehow became aware of it later down the road.
Pretty sad, had this happened during my time in high school i probably would have gotten to know them.
 
hughmun9

hughmun9

Experienced
Feb 22, 2023
224
I know 0 people who have CTB-ed or attempted to.
 
SkeletonFlower96

SkeletonFlower96

From 🇧🇷
Mar 28, 2026
113
My ex-neighbour killed himself last week, he jumped.
 
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suncide10

suncide10

Student
Apr 27, 2026
123
my friend who I know since I was born died by SN. I was with him when he was receiving it, I just didn't know. He told it was some drugs and if he won't come back I should go home. On the way home he was very talkative and told me a bunch of stories and secrets. The next day around 9pm his mom came at our door crying and said my friend is dead. I miss him so much, I wish he told me about his feelings or at least leave a note or message.
 
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J

jimmyjiggy80

Apologies to my former self
Aug 17, 2026
35
Do you think knowing someone personally that CTB had some influence to bring us to these ideas?

When I was 18, a classmate shot himself in his parents shed one night, found by his 6yr old brother next day.

In my 20s, I shared an apartment with a black friend. His black friend came to stay with us for a month or so, but he received so much racism (bricks thrown at him etc from building sites, etc), that he jumped out of a tree in front of a passing train. On the way home from work, i felt something was wrong and asked the police man if it was a black man that died. I got arrested and questioned, but showed them where we lived and I had to identify him at 3am. The image always haunted me.

A friend that got raped by her ex over a weekend in house arrest hung herself shortly afterwards.
 
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F

fitoo5999

Experienced
Jul 23, 2026
284
So much pain, so much pain. It actually break my soul to see all of that.
 
lastappleonearth

lastappleonearth

Слёзы на щеках
Jun 11, 2026
688
No, but I know someone who attempted
 
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hangtime1000

hangtime1000

Member
Aug 7, 2026
48
Not super personal but I was in a discord server with someone who shot himself with a shotgun on livestream. I wasn't in the livestream and didn't see it, but apparently two members were encouraging him to do it. Extremely fucked situation. I think he would have done it regardless, but the fact they encouraged him to do so was chilling. The members who encouraged it were also the owners of the server and deleted the server around 12 hours later, and one person who was in the livestream while it was happening was being charged(so the rumor goes).
I was friends with him on discord and his death hit me really hard and kinda snowballed me to where I am now. I don't know his age but he looked to be in his 20s. He was a skinny white guy, very pale. Super depressed and did some of the worst self harm I have ever seen(gaping thigh wound 7 inches long). I miss him. Some people who know about this situation might be reading this message. It was fampir, iykyk
Is that Discord server still in operation or was it closed down. What was the discord server promoting CTB?
my ex live-in gf CTB long after I was part of her life
- a office colleague killed himself and a friend from high school died by setting fire to her car
 
Last edited:
vibri

vibri

Long way home
Aug 26, 2026
41
One of my cousins did, I think he was in his late 30's-40's. There was a nice funeral, but it made me think a lot about my own past suicidality. I don't really interact with that side of my family anymore because they treated me poorly growing up.
 
V

valar_morghulis21

All men must die.
Jul 17, 2026
255
A family member of an acquaintance did it recently. My ex was suicidal and slit her wrist on a daily basis back when we were dating. That's about it. In real life lots of people aren't suicidal. They could be depressed but not actively attempt
 
everythingturnsgrey

everythingturnsgrey

Member
Aug 21, 2026
7
My dad, itll be the 1 year anniversary of his death in a few days. He was 53 and physically healthy. I miss him a lot but I never blamed him, I understand. I only hope he's finally happy and at peace now.
 
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mmoebread

mmoebread

mm
May 16, 2026
30
a senior from my highschool ctb. i didn't know him personally, but he was friends with my friend. an online friend of a friend also ctb. one of my online friends ctb at 19, i remember we messaged 2 days before they did it.
 
MeSauce

MeSauce

Armchair Philosopher
Jun 1, 2023
181
Is that Discord server still in operation or was it closed down. What was the discord server promoting CTB?
my ex live-in gf CTB long after I was part of her life
- a office colleague killed himself and a friend from high school died by setting fire to her car
It was closed down. The server advertised itself as "neither advocating for or against suicide"
 
hangtime1000

hangtime1000

Member
Aug 7, 2026
48
It was closed down. The server advertised itself as "neither advocating for or against suicide"
My guess they show up time s

I think it would be good if SaSu had one so we could all talk in voice
 
I

imsohappy

Member
Mar 14, 2026
9
1. Mom's friend who was a pastor in training but had so much debt during the pandemic when he lost his business. He hanged himseld at his office, one of his employees saw him. People are blaming the wife for being mean and talk shit about him after that he's a false believer and will go to hell. Horrible experience, left the church for good after. If I didn't have any more good reason to lol
2. My first ever fried I met on 7th grade. Used her dad's firearm. I have guilt about this I wish we spent more time together. She's one of the purest souls ive ever met. Her mom sucked and forced her to go get a degree she hated. She was an amazing Artist who made her own game from scratch!!! always struggled socially and was bullied a lot. It was hard to spend time with her more because she never left our classroom during recess while I became best friends with someone from another class and would always go out asap. We fell off after we got separate classrooms but reconnected after highschool and she died a few months after or maybe a year later already. I was also depressed and in isolation thats why Im so guilty I wasnt even there for her last moments. I was so excited we started talking again but we were never able to do our plans
3. Another girl from our school did it and she was one of the ideal girls, pretty, smart, rich. Very sad news that she was also struggling so much.
4. A celebrity nepo baby Ive met once at a party. Her story really triggered my suicidal thoughts because of how people talked about it after. Another person I wish I got to talk yo more: would've loved to have a friend like her. We both bipolar adhd twins
 
N

never mind me

Arcanist
Nov 7, 2022
442
The father of a former friend killed himself. Although I saw the message about his death on social media, I only found out it was suicide a year later. He was in his early 60s.
And probably my paternal grandfather died by his own hand, because he had had a lot of debt. But I didn't know him, he died a long time before my birth.
 
CowardlyLies

CowardlyLies

Fan of Fiction
Mar 2, 2026
48
No, but my friend recently attempted and despite thinking I'm dead after not responding for weeks he messaged me and I missed it.
 
Nat.

Nat.

Member
Aug 28, 2026
70
Two friends in their thirties. One died of an overdose, and the other one hanged himself.
 
Insufficent

Insufficent

Student
Jul 13, 2026
122
One dies on an OD at the age of 19 and another hanged themselves at the age on 20 something.
Also mu dad hanged himself when i was 4
 
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R

RazzleDazzle

The void stares back.
Sep 16, 2021
337
A friend who died at 48 with a PSH, and another friend who was 40, I don't know any details about how
 
violetforever

violetforever

i hit my peak at 7
Dec 24, 2025
1,245
does a family member i never met and a family friend i only met once count? one was old (80s) and did a gunshot to the head. the other was young (couldnt have been more than early 20s at that time i think?) and im not sure what the method was.
 
U

urgent

Why do I have to suffer unbearably! HELP PLEASE!
Dec 6, 2025
387
7 males I knew, 6 hung themselves, age 15, 25, the rest 50s, 1 shot himself in front of son, and 1 female 19 I just know she did it away at college but not how. Only 1 male looked depressed but with all everyone was surprised
 

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