noonetoo

noonetoo

Specialist
Mar 7, 2019
386
Sweat is oddly a turn on. The abuse I went through actually had a profound yet negative affect on me. When my partner rejects me or doesn't make a move, my self-esteem crushes really bad. It's like no one will ever want me as much my step dad wanted me. Every. Single. Day. I will never be good enough, to overpower the "power" he still holds over me mentally, despite being long gone from my life.

@Final Escape you're living the dream

:wink:
 
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Redt2go

Redt2go

flower child
Jan 5, 2019
1,643
IMO the slight sexual abuse probably didn't have anything to do with it. It's probably more that your depressed than anything else. I know people that have been sexually abused and like it. It depends also on how high or low your sex drive is. And that has to do with your hormones.
I thought it was depression at first but it changes from day to day and several times throughout the day .
 
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YukiFox

YukiFox

Pastel demon
Dec 8, 2018
320
I NEVER enjoy sex. Only once has satisfied me. The rest of all my sexual experiences was disappointing.
First I met most of the sexist and homophobic guys on my small town (40.000 population), and only one was tender with me. The another ones yell at me since I can 't bear the anal sex. Another one was an premature ejaculator.
I never found a partner to achieve a good sexual experience. I wasn't raped, but when I felt so ashamed, disgust and puzzled after every sex I was wondering if I'm asexual or not. I'm still have desires for sex, yeah, but I still fear it.
On another opportunity I tried to have vaginal sex and was more confusing. So after being with that female friend I concluded that I'm not into girls (At least as a cis man)
Well, let's see if after living full time as trans woman something happens with my sex life.
 
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R

Roberto

Wizard
Jan 19, 2019
684
I NEVER enjoy sex. Only once has satisfied me. The rest of all my sexual experiences was disappointing.
First I met most of the sexist and homophobic guys on my small town (40.000 population), and only one was tender with me. The another ones yell at me since I can 't bear the anal sex. Another one was an premature ejaculator.
I never found a partner to achieve a good sexual experience. I wasn't raped, but when I felt so ashamed, disgust and puzzled after every sex I was wondering if I'm asexual or not. I'm still have desires for sex, yeah, but I still fear it.
On another opportunity I tried to have sex and was more confusing. So after being with that female friend I concluded that I'm not into girls (At least as a cis man)
Well, let's see if after living full time as trans woman something happens with my sex life.

I'm sorry. Have you thought to travel to another place? For me it would be difficult. Other thing it would be ciber-sex, but I don't think you could feel the love & care.
Despite the progress in the rights of LGBTI people, there is much way to walk until we become fully tolerant. I would try to contact a website of a center that defends LGBTI rights and expose your situation and may be they could help you in good decisions to solve the problem you say.
 
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K

Kazilium

Member
Feb 24, 2019
74
Sex is scary. I was abused and...it isn't the most comfortable thing to do. I mostly agreed to it so i wouldn't upset my current partner. I barely feel attraction for people, it happens once in a blue moon and somehow getting laid still won't feel okay, even tho i like the person... Idk.
 
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FTL.Wanderer

FTL.Wanderer

Enlightened
May 31, 2018
1,782
"Sex"? Is that like a new form of hot yoga?
 
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M

Maomao

Member
Mar 3, 2019
8
It's my main reason to want to ctb, I deal with sexual addiction and ocd I bad I can't stay focused and keep escalating and struggling with shame it is extremely painful and I hate it I don't want to be this way
 
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F

Funkbunny

Student
Nov 18, 2018
116
Personally I'd rather have a large hot chocolate (no, that's not a euphemism). Zero interest in it.
 
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M

Maomao

Member
Mar 3, 2019
8
Dang a lot of people here have no interest in sex, that's awesome! If I could be that way I could be free and refocus on building my life, my compulsive hyper sexuality is crushing me from the inside out, it's extremely painful and I live a nightmare everyday dealing with it
 
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F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
It's my main reason to want to ctb, I deal with sexual addiction and ocd I bad I can't stay focused and keep escalating and struggling with shame it is extremely painful and I hate it I don't want to be this way
I had this issue as well, but over the years I stopped beating myself up and started to be more compassionate instead of self punishing. Please be gentle with yourself when u mess up. I do believe sex addiction requires therapy but since it's not easy to access u must be compassionate with yourself. I'm not saying give yourself a green light to go off the rails but set yourself up in ways that u can lower your chance of acting out. Identify what triggers u to want to indulge those behaviors and then see if u can change the environment some. Small changes.
Sweat is oddly a turn on. The abuse I went through actually had a profound yet negative affect on me. When my partner rejects me or doesn't make a move, my self-esteem crushes really bad. It's like no one will ever want me as much my step dad wanted me. Every. Single. Day. I will never be good enough, to overpower the "power" he still holds over me mentally, despite being long gone from my life.

@Final Escape you're living the dream

:wink:
Lol! It's an equal mix. I get the highest of highs and other times the lowest lows from how im living. I may try to give this up but adderall had to be my first addiction to give up. I really couldn't function well or have clarity on it.
 
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M

Maomao

Member
Mar 3, 2019
8
I had this issue as well, but over the years I stopped beating myself up and started to be more compassionate instead of self punishing. Please be gentle with yourself when u mess up. I do believe sex addiction requires therapy but since it's not easy to access u must be compassionate with yourself. I'm not saying give yourself a green light to go off the rails but set yourself up in ways that u can lower your chance of acting out. Identify what triggers u to want to indulge those behaviors and then see if u can change the environment some. Small changes.

Thanks I really appreciate your advice! I'm actually just starting therapy so I'm hoping this will be some steps in the right direction.
 
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E

Exile

Predator, criminal, emotional blackmailer
Jan 28, 2019
181
I'm constantly thinking about sex and imagining hot guys I see naked. And yes, I haven't been as discriminating as I should.
 
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Sundayafternoon

Sundayafternoon

Cosmic panic
May 18, 2018
394
Yup yup what drugs induce it if I may ask
Uppers mostly. Adderall. Although not as much anymore. And of course alcohol. Sex and drugs aren't even really fun anymore.
 
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P

Pallf

I'm tired
May 27, 2018
357
Sexual arousal makes me feel really gross.
 
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Gray Wounds

Gray Wounds

A Phantasmagoria
Jun 27, 2018
575
I don't think that you're thinking too much. It comes, that feeling. Sometimes even not sex wise, I become disgusted at very normal things that I really have nothing to be disgusted about. In my case, I think it's displacement.
 
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DepressionsAHo

DepressionsAHo

Heaven gained a new ho
Feb 15, 2019
831
I'm a virgin, these emotions are foreign to me as I do not quite understand them. However I do at times feel disgusted with the act itself especially when it's a one night stand or with a prostitute.

It's sex but without any form of actual intimacy instead it's just for the pleasure of said action then actually looking to be intimate with the person they are doing it with.
I fail to see why that's a problem?
Long as it's consenting anybody can fling their genitals from continent to continent if they so please
As for me no, I'ma put it simply
No I do not
I love sex
 
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EmotionlessWanderer

EmotionlessWanderer

Specialist
Jan 19, 2019
352
Ok I'm going to sound a bit like an anti-human edgelord here. I don't see the major appeal in sex. There is literally nothing beautiful about our bodies. We're just sweaty skin suited apes with intelligence whose said skin suit gets more ugly decade after decade until your bones are rotting in the coffin.
 
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Xaphous

Xaphous

hikikomori
Nov 11, 2018
550
I wish I knew but I'm a 'disgusting virgin' instead :haha:
 
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xXSarac3nSlay3rXx

xXSarac3nSlay3rXx

“Leaving this world is not as scary as it sounds.”
Mar 3, 2019
248
Yeah I never tried to get in a relationship apart from ones I backed out of so I can agree, but I have no social life so I think I'm automatically excluded from relationships therefore no sex is just a by product of that.
I did try to get in a relationship once while I was manic. Becuase I was manic, I had great self esteem and confidence in approaching this girl. Things went well at first, but I ended up saying something really shitty. I felt terrible and apologized and she said "we could still be friends." It turns out that was just code for "get the fuck away from me." Long story short, I haven't spoken to her in 4 months.
 
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Xaphous

Xaphous

hikikomori
Nov 11, 2018
550
I did try to get in a relationship once while I was manic. Becuase I was manic, I had great self esteem and confidence in approaching this girl. Things went well at first, but I ended up saying something really shitty. I felt terrible and apologized and she said "we could still be friends." It turns out that was just code for "get the fuck away from me." Long story short, I haven't spoken to her in 4 months.
That's why I haven't really tried, and when had the opportunity just backed out myself. Like I said in another thread why humiliate myself in trying. I'm automatically disgusting to the female race because I don't have social status, now it's probably too late anyway. At least you tried more, keep trying would be my only advice.
 
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Redt2go

Redt2go

flower child
Jan 5, 2019
1,643
@Xaphous tinder?
 
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Xaphous

Xaphous

hikikomori
Nov 11, 2018
550
@Xaphous tinder?
I thought that was a toxic place where only the extroverted alpha male type guys get attention and everyone else gets ignored. I never tried it but I've heard it's bad. I can attract a girl but I still feel my no social life status would just lead to embarrassment.
 
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Redt2go

Redt2go

flower child
Jan 5, 2019
1,643
I thought that was a toxic place where only the extroverted alpha male type guys get attention and everyone else gets ignored. I never tried it but I've heard it's bad. I can attract a girl but I still feel my no social life status would just lead to embarrassment.
:(
 
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L

Lonely Twin Angel

Member
Oct 29, 2018
19
I've always loved sex. I've always enjoyed everything about it. Never found anything disgusting about it. If I'm bored, that what I want to do. I have always loved experimenting sexually. There is so little that puts me off it. Right now, sex isn't anything for me. My partner doesnt want to. It makes me sad sometimes and I even think about ending out relationship over it but I love her. So I'm conflicted.
 
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L

Life sucks

Visionary
Apr 18, 2018
2,134
Fantasies and thinking: OMG
Visual and other kind of stimulation: cool and lovely.
Actual sex: probably but can be boring.
Relationships and reproduction: fucking NO
 
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Christian

Christian

Member
Mar 13, 2019
40
Yes disgusted
 
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Glim

Glim

Student
Jan 28, 2019
105
"The penis is evil. The penis shoots seeds, and makes new life to poison the earth with a plague of men, as once it was "
--Zardoz
 
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