Do you feel this way? “I’ve had so many good experiences in the last year that I wouldn’t have gotten to have if I died.”

[Meditation guide]

I saw someone who had attempted suicide and been pulled through at the hospital said this:
"I've had so many good experiences in the last year that I wouldn't have gotten to have if I died."

She is glad she survived in spite of having some crippling injuries from the experience. It got me thinking about my past year and the years before it and wondering if I could find any good experiences. The best I could come up with were some days without much pain, or having someone say something nice to me. I don't mean I don't value those things but is that enough? I have to think about it.

All I actually remember is day after day of struggle and being sick and in pain for the last five years. For the past year I don't wake up feeling nearly as sick as I did for the first four years after whatever this illness is that suddenly attacked me one night. So that's the best part.

 

[Jellyfish42]

Not at all. Im a little skeptical about the person you overheard also. Did they say that because they truly did have a change of heart or did they say that to avoid being put into a mental institution after their suicide attempt.

 

[almost_dead]

I saw someone who had attempted suicide and been pulled through at the hospital said this:
"I've had so many good experiences in the last year that I wouldn't have gotten to have if I died."

She is glad she survived in spite of having some crippling injuries from the experience. It got me thinking about my past year and the years before it and wondering if I could find any good experiences. The best I could come up with were some days without much pain, or having someone say something nice to me. I don't mean I don't value those things but is that enough? I have to think about it.

All I actually remember is day after day of struggle and being sick and in pain for the last five years. For the past year I don't wake up feeling nearly as sick as I did for the first four years after whatever this illness is that suddenly attacked me one night. So that's the best part.

I dont remember anything good . Even if good did happen , bad happened so much that it completely overshadowed my past

 

[Meditation guide]

. Did they say that because they truly did have a change of heart or did they say that to avoid being put into a mental institution after their suicide attempt.

It was an article about a girl who lost her boyfriend in a small town, and had to see him with his new girlfriend all the time. She took a lot of her father's meds and went to the hospital, died twice, was giving shock treatment to start her heart 18 times, ended up losing part of her foot etc. She had a long road back physically. I don't know why she said that, it didn't explain it.

 

[LittleJem]

The article is about someone who had a big upset, but probably doesn't have chronic depression. So once she was over the heartbreak (and I guess the shock of nearly dying) she got her natural happiness back.

For me, I wish I was dead twenty years ago. I would just like to erase my life. I wasn't as suicidal twenty years ago as I had hope - but if I could, I would kill myself at twenty and avoid all the suffering I have experienced and how I have hurt others with my mental illness. It would also give me less time with my crazy mother.

 

[Meditation guide]

It would also give me less time with my crazy mother.

I am right there with you on that one! I would love to compare crazy mother stories.

 

[LittleJem]

I am right there with you on that one! I would love to compare crazy mother stories.

Feel welcome to PM me. I heard one today about my mother that is a recent one and I am so done.

 

[JustKillBen22]

No, and I think about this a lot. After last year I thought 'if I'd gone I would've missed out on all this stuff' but this year so far has just been hell, and if I was dead I would've missed nothing. Well not entirely true, a couple of things, but nowhere near enough to make the last 9 months worth suffering through

 

[Meditation guide]

Before, I could always find some reason to look at that was fun and enjoyable.

I don't know how that young lady managed to find so many enjoyable things to do after all she went through but it made a good story. She said it was the best year of her life, but didn't add any reasons for that.

 

[Infinite Conscious]

My first and last attempt at suicide was in 2016... since then, I only had two positive experiences, a relationship with a woman I loved who at the end left me a few months ago... and writing and publishing a book (actually it is published this month).

But I still wish I died 4 years ago.
I am 100% certain I am living the last 3 months of my 45-years long life.

Unless a billion dollars falls to me from the sky, the odds of which are not really great... I am done with this comic tragedy of a life.
I'm a perfect example of how to ruin a relatively good hand of the dealt cards.
Everything and everyone I've touched - I've destroyed.
Enough.

 

[Infinite Conscious]

You and me both, although I don't take blame for anything that happened to me. I know how hard I have tried year after year to make a nice life for myself. I should have died a few years ago too.

Five years now of being mostly incapacitated by some major illness that has never been diagnosed.... I loved taking walks in nature and swimming and going to the beach... I will never do those things again.

You are such a nice person...
I know that I was frustrated by your view of Covid from a few days ago (I am sad when I encounter intelligent people who can't see this global hysteria for what it is - a manipulation and a scam just like 9/11)... but other than that, I melt when you speak.

 

[laura fines]

I saw someone who had attempted suicide and been pulled through at the hospital said this:
"I've had so many good experiences in the last year that I wouldn't have gotten to have if I died."

She is glad she survived in spite of having some crippling injuries from the experience. It got me thinking about my past year and the years before it and wondering if I could find any good experiences. The best I could come up with were some days without much pain, or having someone say something nice to me. I don't mean I don't value those things but is that enough? I have to think about it.

All I actually remember is day after day of struggle and being sick and in pain for the last five years. For the past year I don't wake up feeling nearly as sick as I did for the first four years after whatever this illness is that suddenly attacked me one night. So that's the best part.

no
my life is boring and a daily suffering

 

[MariV]

not at all. i dont ctb cause of my mother
even if she supports me..the devastation would be tremendous

there are many things which are interesting but their temporarity makes everything pointless

 

[Good4Nothing]

This past year has been hell for me.
And the year before that.
And the seven years before that...
I don't know why I'm hanging on.
Foolish, stupid hope, I guess.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

It can differ from person to person. For example one individual may have good memories and actually enjoy life to an extent, but they might also have had past traumatic events. These dark patches in their life story may overshadow the happier times to the point that it is deemed no longer worth living just to preserve a few positive memories. On the other hand another individual may not have any good memories at all to look back on, and it could be that lack of happiness or lack of happy memories that generates a vacuum in their mind that contributes to their suicide. In other words: they decide that life was never enjoyable in the first place.

This is not intended to sound cold, but only you can decide if what you value in life is worth existing.

 

[Matthias_k]

No, I feel more like "I've had so many bad experiences in the last year that I wouldn't have gotten to have if I died"