I have no choice (kinda long)

[MrsNobody]

I'm currently searching for a method I'm certain will work because I have no choice but to kill myself at this point.

1.) I was diagnosed with Agoraphobia, Panic Disorder, Schizoaffectove, BPD, Bipolar, and OCD.

I've been living with my parents and grandparents at a point since I was a kid & only tried to hold a job a few times but failed due to my mental health.

I can't leave the house alone without feeling like I'm in immense danger, like I'm going to pass out & having endless panic attacks. I also have this issue when calling places.

My mom is one of those, "you're an adult, you can figure it out on your own" kinds of people, no matter how many times I've tried to explain my diagnoses to her. She's very ignorant and selfish & she is never wrong. She had 6 kids & left when I was 11 & didn't return to my life until I was 25.

Anyways, I tried to work 2 jobs & failed miserably so decided I'd go for disability except my mom wanted to be my guardian so she can receive my check.

Yet, she doesn't want to help me seek lawyers and doesn't make the time to help me progress.

My dad is very old and lives very far away and I can't do much for me either.

So, I'm gonna stay stagnant. If something happens to my mom, I'm homeless without any income. After this year, that's what's going to happen because she's claiming she's "retiring" which will make it very hard to afford the kind of place we are staying in, now.

So, I have no choice. I honestly love life sometimes but recently, I'm over not having my own space, being forced to share a space with somebody I don't get along with, not being able to work or have my own income. I just wanna go. And at this point, I'll just have to get over the pain. Time moves forward anyways.



My main issue now, is finding a legal method that I know will work. I'm limited . I can't do SN, A gun, or pills, (since ppl say they don't work). And I failed a hanging last year. I'm mainly on this website to lurk more creative methods.

My nephew who was 20 shot himself in the head last year & that was my preferred method. I mourned his death but also envied him, too. It seems very quick & to the point .

 

[FuneralCry]

I really wish it wasn't so difficult to cease existing on our own terms but anyway I hope that you eventually find what you search for, it certainly sounds like you've suffered a lot, existence is just too cruel.

 

[MrsNobody]

I really wish it wasn't so difficult to cease existing on our own terms but anyway I hope that you eventually find what you search for, it certainly sounds like you've suffered a lot, existence is just too cruel.

I just have no bright future, so I want it over with, yanno? Thank you and you too.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Is a gun out of the question because you can't legally acquire one?

 

[theboy]

I am sorry for what you are going through and I can relate to some of the things you are going through, have you tried therapy?

 

[MrsNobody]

Is a gun out of the question because you can't legally acquire one?

Yep.

I am sorry for what you are going through and I can relate to some of the things you are going through, have you tried therapy?

I was in therapy before we moved to a new state & I signed up to have intense therapy here, per my new doctors request but they never followed through. And I called and called, still nothing.

At this point, I'm screwed.

 

[theboy]

Yep.


I was in therapy before we moved to a new state & I signed up to have intense therapy here, per my new doctors request but they never followed through. And I called and called, still nothing.

At this point, I'm screwed.

I'm sorry it didn't work out. you may have to keep looking or pay for a private one. what I'm trying to say is that I think you still have options, as far as I can see.

 

[MrsNobody]

I'm sorry it didn't work out. you may have to keep looking or pay for a private one. what I'm trying to say is that I think you still have options, as far as I can see.

I'm going to need to overcome my panic attacks and agoraphobia so I can get a decent amount of money by next year & I don't see that as a possibility.

 

[theboy]

I'm going to need to overcome my panic attacks and agoraphobia so I can get a decent amount of money by next year & I don't see that as a possibility.

I also suffer the same as you, besides claustrophobia, is there anything that you feel can save you?

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Is a gun out of the question because you can't legally acquire one?

Yep.

Ever consider CO poisoning using charcoal? Everything needed is legally accessible. Plenty of guides here on SS. Of course, like any method, it takes time to study the pros and cons so you know what you're getting into, and how to do it correctly. Just an idea.