I'm currently searching for a method I'm certain will work because I have no choice but to kill myself at this point.
1.) I was diagnosed with Agoraphobia, Panic Disorder, Schizoaffectove, BPD, Bipolar, and OCD.
I've been living with my parents and grandparents at a point since I was a kid & only tried to hold a job a few times but failed due to my mental health.
I can't leave the house alone without feeling like I'm in immense danger, like I'm going to pass out & having endless panic attacks. I also have this issue when calling places.
My mom is one of those, "you're an adult, you can figure it out on your own" kinds of people, no matter how many times I've tried to explain my diagnoses to her. She's very ignorant and selfish & she is never wrong. She had 6 kids & left when I was 11 & didn't return to my life until I was 25.
Anyways, I tried to work 2 jobs & failed miserably so decided I'd go for disability except my mom wanted to be my guardian so she can receive my check.
Yet, she doesn't want to help me seek lawyers and doesn't make the time to help me progress.
My dad is very old and lives very far away and I can't do much for me either.
So, I'm gonna stay stagnant. If something happens to my mom, I'm homeless without any income. After this year, that's what's going to happen because she's claiming she's "retiring" which will make it very hard to afford the kind of place we are staying in, now.
So, I have no choice. I honestly love life sometimes but recently, I'm over not having my own space, being forced to share a space with somebody I don't get along with, not being able to work or have my own income. I just wanna go. And at this point, I'll just have to get over the pain. Time moves forward anyways.
My main issue now, is finding a legal method that I know will work. I'm limited . I can't do SN, A gun, or pills, (since ppl say they don't work). And I failed a hanging last year. I'm mainly on this website to lurk more creative methods.
My nephew who was 20 shot himself in the head last year & that was my preferred method. I mourned his death but also envied him, too. It seems very quick & to the point .
1.) I was diagnosed with Agoraphobia, Panic Disorder, Schizoaffectove, BPD, Bipolar, and OCD.
I've been living with my parents and grandparents at a point since I was a kid & only tried to hold a job a few times but failed due to my mental health.
I can't leave the house alone without feeling like I'm in immense danger, like I'm going to pass out & having endless panic attacks. I also have this issue when calling places.
My mom is one of those, "you're an adult, you can figure it out on your own" kinds of people, no matter how many times I've tried to explain my diagnoses to her. She's very ignorant and selfish & she is never wrong. She had 6 kids & left when I was 11 & didn't return to my life until I was 25.
Anyways, I tried to work 2 jobs & failed miserably so decided I'd go for disability except my mom wanted to be my guardian so she can receive my check.
Yet, she doesn't want to help me seek lawyers and doesn't make the time to help me progress.
My dad is very old and lives very far away and I can't do much for me either.
So, I'm gonna stay stagnant. If something happens to my mom, I'm homeless without any income. After this year, that's what's going to happen because she's claiming she's "retiring" which will make it very hard to afford the kind of place we are staying in, now.
So, I have no choice. I honestly love life sometimes but recently, I'm over not having my own space, being forced to share a space with somebody I don't get along with, not being able to work or have my own income. I just wanna go. And at this point, I'll just have to get over the pain. Time moves forward anyways.
My main issue now, is finding a legal method that I know will work. I'm limited . I can't do SN, A gun, or pills, (since ppl say they don't work). And I failed a hanging last year. I'm mainly on this website to lurk more creative methods.
My nephew who was 20 shot himself in the head last year & that was my preferred method. I mourned his death but also envied him, too. It seems very quick & to the point .
