Do you ever feel like you might be too old to recover?

[dewasrite]

I feel like all the years I would have actually had a chance to enjoy are gone. What would I even recover for now??

 

[fuzzypeach]

im sorry... this sounds like an awful feeling. but idk, i think you in the present matters just as much

 

[YourLocalSadGirly]

I'm still young (21) but sometimes it does feel that way. It feels as if both my dreams and my best love are behind me. I'm sorry you feel this way. I hope you're able to recover you may not be as happy is you could have possibly been years ago but there's still joy in life that you're able to experience in the present and future.

 

[Sewing]

I feel the same way but that thinking just traps me in a cycle where the "window" that includes my best years includes more of my life, so I try to go with the mentality of a late start still being a start. And as some others have put it, you're still worth it even in the present. I hope you can find things to enjoy,

 

[pelicanportal]

I feel the same. Sorry OP.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

The way I see it, the fact that I'm this old and without any active plans means I pretty much already have recovered even though it was through complete inaction and almost entirely against my will.

 

[Spite]

I've definitely started to feel that way lately. I think it's too late for me to start over or otherwise see anything change in my life that would make me happy. I'm upset because I exist, and I don't like this dog-eat-dog reality. The only way I could ever be truly happy is if the fundamentals of life itself were to change, which will never happen, therefore I will always be depressed.

 

[Luna223]

for me it is like metronome, some days it looks like im too old, some days it looks there is plenty of time infront of me

 

[_Gollum_]

As one of my favourite songs says: there's just too much that time cannot erase.

 

[unloveable27]

Yes. I'm 27 and haven't passed most of the proper social milestones. I haven't even kissed. It's one of if not the main reason I want to CTB because I already missed out on the fun part of life being depressed and a drug addict alone

 

[decafcheeseburger]

I'm 35 and never left school (or a lab). Feel the same. I honestly miss the old days where I wasn't really in the moment but inside my head for most of the time.

 

[underairpressure]

Sort of, though for me it's less about my actual age, and more the sheer length of time I've been mentally ill. It feels too deeply ingrained in me to ever be "fixed".

 

[naughtyNaughtyBear]

I'm 27 and I think you can always recover and lead a great life

 

[Arvayn]

For what it's worth, I think there are some things in life that one simply cannot recover from, regardless of age. Traumatic events that will be a permanent source of pain for as long as you live... If you are fortunate, you'll be able to avoid these happening to you. For the vastest majority of people, it's possible to reach a state of equilibrium or beyond, where life is otherwise pleasurable enough to keep up with the sources of pain. This would count as a form of "recovery", I think, but the term is pretty vague.

I don't think the process of recovery has anything to do with age. A 60 year old is often just as determined as a 20 year old to stay afloat, so long as they actually have hope and things they want to fight for.

 

[MAKE IT STOP!]

Part of me wishes I didn't lose my high school years to undiagnosed depression and anxiety, part of me thinks that I peaked in 7th grade, that I should've gotten better during high school. But now I'm about to be 23, and I'm sure it's not too late.

 

[a65b]

Sometimes i do thinks its too late, but i know its probably not. Im only 19 so im not really that old even if i try to convince myself that i am

 

[Snailey]

Im 29 and im starting to feel that way. I wanted to get better so I could talk to my friends without making it emotional work for them every time we hang out but I barely see them anymore and I always end up wondering what's even the point.

I lost all the fun years to depression and now its just this.

 

[traumer]

i'm literally 18 and sometimes i feel that way too but fuck it let yourself be late for things and still have so much fun you deserve a hibiscus tea with lots of honey even if you are old

 

[rainatthebusstop]

I mean yeah. I wasted 27 years of my life on a mental disorder I will never be able to fix.
All I get is that any attempt at fixing anything will just leave me fat and therefore inhuman or you know- the reason I am on this forum for.

I dunno man maybe there's some fuel in the tank for you but it is up to you if you wanna risk it

 

[hiiiii]

yeah i kinda feel the same way on and off. half of me feels like there's no point in recovery because i've wasted all of my early and mid twenties in my crazy person isolation bubble and have completely missed out on those fun formative experiences that most people my age have had. and i hate the idea of being in my late 20s and doing shit that everyone else got out of their system at like 22. but i also have this fear of missing out by CTB. it's like that one meme with the guy mining, but instead of turning around before i strike diamonds i take SN and miss out on an opportunity or connection that makes life worth living.

 

[DreamingOfAutumn]

It depends on what I'm supposed to be recovering or working for. I'm in my early 30s with no real qualifications, a horrible work history, and I've never even had a girlfriend much less do I have any realistic hope of having a family. Distractions in the form of escapist media aren't something that I especially enjoy anymore, and I it's pretty difficult to identify anything that I both want and am able to attain. Sill I'm going to make one more attempt to sort my life out, just without any actual hope or self-deception this time.

 

[DownwardSpiral]

yeah i kinda feel the same way on and off. half of me feels like there's no point in recovery because i've wasted all of my early and mid twenties in my crazy person isolation bubble and have completely missed out on those fun formative experiences that most people my age have had. and i hate the idea of being in my late 20s and doing shit that everyone else got out of their system at like 22. but i also have this fear of missing out by CTB. it's like that one meme with the guy mining, but instead of turning around before i strike diamonds i take SN and miss out on an opportunity or connection that makes life worth living.

thats exactly how I feel as well

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

I'm 27 and I think you can always recover and lead a great life

Nice. 36 here and I've got to find a way, if only because suicide is so terrifying. Life goes on, there's no turning back time. I gotta toughen up and find a way to live.

 

[itsgone2]

I'm much older than this group, 52. I'm likely more pessimistic because I experienced a different time. I honestly think the internet has been a net negative. Other things too. Greed is different now. So much more impersonal. Companies have zero care for their employees. So much tribalism. Leads to hate. It's every group as far as I'm concerned. It absolutely was not like this. Got bad around 2000 then Covid made it all worse. But it really doesn't matter I made too many mistakes. Life is wrecked and in an environment where even strong are struggling. My grandfather worked his entire career with one company. Same for most of that generation. Now? No chance. Companies hate you. This world is evil beyond belief.

 

[Bitch With An Apple]

Yes. I feel like a flower that bloomed and didn't realize that it bloomed until it began to wilt. And now it's just a daily struggle against passive erosion, with an accompanying hope that one day I'll be able to reverse the gradient.

 

[piercedheart]

Hello dear, I have felt the same way for a while, the way I see it now however is I can feel bad about what I have missed, which is a vicious cycle where I will just... miss more.. Instead make the best of what you have left, you're never to old to improve, to learn or to have a good life.

Age is merely a number when it comes to living your life, instead of thinking back of wasted years, see it as years of learning hard truths, and taking that to heart to life the remainder years in a more positive light.

To help put into view that being old is not the end of the world:

Samuel L. Jackson didn't achieve any fame till in his 40's
Alan Rickman not till he was 42
Charles Darwin didn't get any major attention till in his 50's
Frank McCourt not till his 60's

Just a few example of 'older' people who still have achieved impressive things, you can do the same. I believe in you. <3
Please do not view yourself as your past self and lost time, but view yourself as a flower that blooms late, and has much beauty to share and experience still.

 

[GyreOfAsh]

Yeah I always am thinking "I'm too far gone." Would be different if enough cards were in my favor. Especially facial attractiveness.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I tend to think the drive/ desire for things is more important. I returned to uni when I was 28. I've moved around the country for different jobs. Tried different career paths. I had the sense as I grew older that certain doors were no longer open. I realised in my 30's that I probably should have done an apprenticeship but those often have a cut off age of 24. I tend to think though- if we want things enough- we pursue them even if they are more difficult. I know 60 year olds who go on dating sites. I know 70 year olds who are still working a very physically intensive job.

The bigger problem I think is when we lose both the ambition and motivation to do things. Then- everything becomes a struggle and- I think that can hit us at any age- unfortunately. I suppose though- if we are on the way to becoming lethargic, the age issue can become another excuse not to try. I use it myself.

 

[yotaka]

I'm much older than this group, 52. I'm likely more pessimistic because I experienced a different time. I honestly think the internet has been a net negative. Other things too. Greed is different now. So much more impersonal. Companies have zero care for their employees. So much tribalism. Leads to hate. It's every group as far as I'm concerned. It absolutely was not like this. Got bad around 2000 then Covid made it all worse. But it really doesn't matter I made too many mistakes. Life is wrecked and in an environment where even strong are struggling. My grandfather worked his entire career with one company. Same for most of that generation. Now? No chance. Companies hate you. This world is evil beyond belief.

(edit: sorry, forgot I quoted this one and didn't reply)
A lot of the people I admired growing up are around your age. I don't mean to say their lives are/were easy, but sometimes I wonder if the ones who lived life to the fullest in the '80s and '90s then died of ODs, suicide, AIDS, etc.—I wonder if they're the ones who did it right.

I tend to think the drive/ desire for things is more important. I returned to uni when I was 28. I've moved around the country for different jobs. Tried different career paths. I had the sense as I grew older that certain doors were no longer open. I realised in my 30's that I probably should have done an apprenticeship but those often have a cut off age of 24. I tend to think though- if we want things enough- we pursue them even if they are more difficult. I know 60 year olds who go on dating sites. I know 70 year olds who are still working a very physically intensive job.

The bigger problem I think is when we lose both the ambition and motivation to do things. Then- everything becomes a struggle and- I think that can hit us at any age- unfortunately. I suppose though- if we are on the way to becoming lethargic, the age issue can become another excuse not to try. I use it myself.

I think you've got it. The issue isn't age necessarily, but it's opportunity and motivation, and those change with age. I've heard "age is just a number" about a million times. The fact is, though, it's a number that has a big impact on what one is able to do.

And I'm aware that there are people who make big life changes in their 30s, 40s, 50s, and beyond, but I think these people tend to be exceptionally motivated. I just don't have the energy and drive that I had when I was younger.