Discussion Do you/ Did you fight your suicidal thoughts?

[Nlis2244]

I never did actually. I always embraced it. The prospect of not being alive eases the pain.

 

[NocturnILL]

I definitely have for years. Before attempts and after attempts. If I'm being raw and honest, I just don't want to fight anymore. I don't have it in me. Sometimes the fight comes up and I think that life can get better and things can turn around yadada life doesn't have to be like this yadada. Then I think about how much more false hope do I need to give myself. Just start taking meds again, get hospitalized, stay in therapy, go to the gym, journal, do yoga, meditate etc and everything will be ok??. Already existing on reserves as it is. i just can't do it anymore. I am past exhausted. I don't have the strength as many others do. I find extreme comfort knowing I can be at peace. I think I deserve peace. Idk I could go in…but over I fought a good fight and now I proudly wave the white flag.

 

[hermestrimegistus]

I hold back these thoughts mostly by denying they exist in the first place and drinking too much

 

[LeperGnome]

No, I'm past that. I'm now just waiting for a certain event to come to pass to put my plans into action.