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Worthless_nobody

Enlightened
Feb 14, 2019
1,384
Title. Basically I just can't get over the depressing thought that I have way more years left ahead of me to live than behind me if I were to lead out my natural life. I'm only in my late 20s but I could easy have another 50 to 60+ years in this hell if I lived my natural life. It's been this bad so far I just cannot fathom 50 more years of this shit. And the world is only getting worse and turning more and more into some dystopian hellscape. Why the world would I be excited about 50+ more years of suffering.

Also very sadly longevity runs in my family. I can't believe how many people in my family lived into their 90s! Many of them in terrible health suffering in a nursing home with alzheimer's their last few years but others were in fine health. I just wish I could trade this life and genetic longevity with someone who wants it. It's so messed up.. I know I'll 100% have to kill myself regardless and there are people who want to keep living or wishing they had longevity.
 
Deleted member 19654

Deleted member 19654

Working towards recovery.
Jul 9, 2020
1,628
I didn't even consider the fact that my family seem to live till they're super old. My great grandma didn't die till she was 109.

I get what you mean about not wanting to live out another few decades in a terrible world.
 
Infinite Conscious

Infinite Conscious

Experienced
Aug 18, 2020
282
Change the title of the thread if you want people to understand, relate and comment.

A title should be short and to the point, not a continuum of random thoughts.

A cause for depression: years ahead of us vs years behind us
 
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TooConscious

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2020
1,147
In two decades the standard of living will be a tenth what it is now, we are living like royalty. And the bio engineering is reserved for the elite the only time it's used in us mere peasants is when we give them a reason to want to torture us in which case they'll keep us alive for years torturing us. Think I'm joking. Unfortunately this will be common knowledge in 6 years so accept the gesture of fact I'm leaking to you. They keep people alive for years that's why nobody exposes pedo elite as they can torture you for eternity unless powers higher than them intervene in that case you best hope you've done good by some gods. Unfortunately it's pretty locked down they are beyond cruel ruthless those words are sweet to what they are about.
 
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Worthless_nobody

Enlightened
Feb 14, 2019
1,384
Change the title of the thread if you want people to understand, relate and comment.

A title should be short and to the point, not a continuum of random thoughts.

A cause for depression: years ahead of us vs years behind us
It's my thread sorry it's going to be what I Want....why come here and say this??? Seriously it's not YOUR thread it's a public forum I can vent if I want. I'm suicidal I'm not interested in grammar police......
 
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Worthless_nobody

Enlightened
Feb 14, 2019
1,384
She's not writing a dissertation. :blarg:
Seriously this is a forum for expressing feelings. I'm sad..proper grammar for writing a damn paper is the last thing on my mind! That's like some reddit bs there. People on reddit are grammar police I noticed...I'm like does it really matter??
 
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Mm80

Mm80

Enlightened
May 15, 2019
1,604
I thought the 80 in your username meant that you were born in 1980, now I get the sneaking suspicion you are 80 years old:pfff:
Love it. No you were right first time. I am 39. The reason i came out with that is because my partner has just turned 80. (Oh god thats bad, even for me )
 
XYZ

XYZ

I just can’t get these damn wrists to bleed
Jul 22, 2020
800
Seriously this is a forum for expressing feelings. I'm sad..proper grammar for writing a damn paper is the last thing on my mind!

I think users who haven't been very active on this forum tend to overlook this aspect. It's quite hard to write perfectly coherent, grammatically correct posts when under stress.

Stream is consciousness and lack of punctuation are quite common occurences. And it's all right :-) Nobody is grading your writing here. Just write whatever and however you want, if it makes your pain a little more bearable.

:hug:
 
voyager

voyager

Don't you dare go hollow...
Nov 25, 2019
965
Have had this thought as well. It's terrifying. I'm more afraid of having to live in this state for forty more years than in fact dying. Already have health issues but they just lower the quality of my life not it's expectancy, and it'll only get worse the older we get. What if I can't ctb for some reason? It really scares me, tbh.
 
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Worthless_nobody

Enlightened
Feb 14, 2019
1,384
I think users who haven't been very active on this forum tend to overlook this aspect. It's quite hard to write perfectly coherent, grammatically correct posts when under stress.

Stream is consciousness and lack of punctuation are quite common occurences. And it's all right :-) Nobody is grading your writing here. Just write whatever and however you want, if it makes your pain a little more bearable.

:hug:
Thank you.❤️ I have been here so long I don't think twice when someone posts "bad grammar" because many are hurting and just say what comes to mind, lots of non English speakers and it's a space to just vent.
 
Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
Title. Basically I just can't get over the depressing thought that I have way more years left ahead of me to live than behind me if I were to lead out my natural life. I'm only in my late 20s but I could easy have another 50 to 60+ years in this hell if I lived my natural life. It's been this bad so far I just cannot fathom 50 more years of this shit. And the world is only getting worse and turning more and more into some dystopian hellscape. Why the world would I be excited about 50+ more years of suffering.

Also very sadly longevity runs in my family. I can't believe how many people in my family lived into their 90s! Many of them in terrible health suffering in a nursing home with alzheimer's their last few years but others were in fine health. I just wish I could trade this life and genetic longevity with someone who wants it. It's so messed up.. I know I'll 100% have to kill myself regardless and there are people who want to keep living or wishing they had longevity.
I can't say it any better than you did in that first paragraph. My feelings exactly. So much left and yet the feeling like there's nothing left to look forward to. Mental illness or reality.
 
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Sk1n1M1n

Experienced
Jan 29, 2020
282
If I wasn't doing my degree and I was still a signed off jobless friendless peepers on, then yeah I ctb'd ages ago but then my depression worsens when I have all these things so I can't win.